♥ ♥ ♥

2010-05-09T22:10:00.000+08:00

MOVED.

2010-04-02T22:57:00.000+08:00

as you can see, i've change the blog skin. i'll update when i have the time. cause currently. im busy ^^

2010-03-12T01:21:00.002+08:00

i got no time to update. cause everytime i reach home i'm too tired to type long2 lehhhhh. aiyoma. kay bye. sunday MUNGKIN i update cause i off lehhhh. haha.

my motivation : Fauziah & Hami Noordin

2010-02-14T03:08:00.003+08:00

I don't know why but pat gambar nih rambut aku looks niceeeeeeeeeeeeee :D I should be sleeping seh, but my mistake. I drank latte frappe tadi after work to wake myself up, sebab penat sangat, but I miss babyboy too much to leave for home that early. Sekarang aku terkial-kial nak tdo sedangkan besuk aku plan nak keluar. Nanti penat lagi. tsk.

I'm using the laptop, like finally kan? Baby takmu marah kalau check my blog. This is the only place I let myself loose free. Report2, sigh, you know what I mean.

Nih gambar tadi ambil loh, pat kfc nye Jp. kauuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~ A-bang-las (if you understand) peh ribut, macam dianye raye pulak. Luckyyyyyyyyyyyy my workplace tutup kedai before dinner, mekkkkk. hahaha. Next week shift macam babi la. Fvck sia. AKU PART-TIMER WOI! Lagi si Pineapple boleh cakap pat aku, "you take care of yourself okay Natasha. Your schedule ah, you need to take care of yourself, don't fall sick." BBL MACAM TAK SALAH PADAHAL DIA YANG BUAT TU SCHEDULE. cibsssss. Hafiq tenguk pun teperanjat loh. 52hrs sia. Cibssss. Perah cukup2 sia tenage aku. Tadi pun tak aku nak paitau keje. Aku sakit kay. Aku mengigil pat keje pun, she can only afford to say, "you go drink some warm water la" aku dah minom loh! I got head to fikir. Cibbbbs.

Takpe. Tahan. Manager sial tu dah transfer Yishun ^^, happy aku. Natasha sini, Natasha sane. Nih la, baik pijak kepale, jahat tak dapat keje lak nanti. Papuks.

I feel so awkward every time people call me Natasha. Sumpah. Cause my 3E1'08 cliques call me Nat. Cyber world and my outside school friends call me Shasha. Susah datang orang panggil aku Natasha. Even Ibu no longer call me Tasha lohhhhhh. Now kat keje all call me Natasha, even the gatal dishwasher man call me Natasha. Ya Allah. Aku selalu pusing kanchong macam Ayah yang panggil gitu. Cause he is the only one constantly calling me Natasha loh. He called everyone full name one de. But I like Ayah call me Nurul. Only he call me that. Like, awwwwww. So sweet. hahaha. Cibs. Side track rabak.

Ever since I start work, I maki a lot seh :'( such a bad thing loh. Sebab orang pat, hmm, mostly ex-offender I should say. So, kalau pack kan tempat, kitchen kecoh uh, "nbcb" sini sane. Hahaha. F sini sane. Ah, lagi satu, even the malay people speak English all the time loh. tsk. I'm like the youngest. Cibbbbs. 16 only siol. hahahhaha. The other malay girl is like 19. So we only speak in English. Abih nak bbl aku kau pelik sia. Abih ape, kakak? HAHAHAHAH! Tak payah sudah. So, we call by names.

I okayla with this keje, just that my working hours like nbcb. Tsk. Tired you know. Babyboy dah quit keje nih. Sebab dia nye schedule takleh bawak ke mane sia. 4 jam 4 jam, 4$ sejam ape nak makan sia. Nih manager macam sial oi. Buto. Aku yang tak perlu keje, dia kasi keje macam mak dia nye badan gitu, sayang aku yang perlukan keje, dia kate, "later you start school than talk". Mekkk. Nak je aku chili mulut dia. FFFFFFFFFek tol.

Terus terang aku benci keje uh, pasal penat dia, ya tuhan tolongla. Kalau macam next week nye schedule eh, tak aku kene full shift that is from 11AM to 10PM with 2 hour break (yang sumpah takde makne) means I need to fucking stand for 9 hours you know!!!! Tak pun I work from 11AM to 9PM or 12PM to 10PM with depending one our two hours break, still more than 8 hours of standing. kauuuuuuuu. Mati loh I tell youuuuuu. Next work I work like what, fullshift for 2 ke 3 days, I need to do opening or either closing uh. Cb. Kalau kene start kol 11AM, abis 9PM an, HIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH possibility kene extend sampai 10PM uh, closing sebab confirm ramai orangnye. Nnt kene closing kedebak kedebuk, kul 10.45PM ah latest abis semua, tapi gaji sampai kul 10 je, takde lebih. Aku nak quit, keje ngan babyboy, tapi timing tak boleh make it la. 8PM to 8AM. 12 jam tak pasal, tapi malam donkey. Mane aku lepas.

Plusssssssssss, aku ade feeling kuat, nih kalau aku quit, ibu takkan kasi aku keje nye. She EVERYDAY i msg her saying I leave home for work already, she confirm chop say something like "ibu rindu sha sha" or something uh. Idk why the sha and sha in between got double space one. But I still cry loh pat bus stop. Cib. I miss spending time with my mom leh!

I gi keje, she already leave home. Working la abo. Then I balik keje, she sleeping already. Nampak orang ah, tapi tak bbl all, bab dua2 penat sendiri. Aiyomaaaa. I talk to Ayah la, but otw. "Nurul dekat mane? Dah balik? Nak Ayah ambil tak?" All those questions laaaa. Wa piang eh!

So touching lehhh. But what to do leh. My motivation is, "i MUST go to work, get my ibu branded bag with my hard earned money so she can go boast around, buy my dad something too" then I can quit or tell the new manager, I want to work 4 jam 4 jam like PX also since now he downgrade to part timer already. Or I naik full timer jadi gaji lagi worth it ah. Win win situation. If I work 4 jam 4 jam, mati ah tu kedai, takde runner lagi. Pi mati. Teresa dah paitau, PX dah turun, aku turun jugak, padan mukeeeeeeeeeeee! Aku diam je, aku tak bodoh kay babi nye Phoebe. Sial nye manager. Bully je tauuuuuuu! Aku nak duit nye pasal aku okay go je alright. F up sia.

Ohhhhh. MANSS bile nak jumpe deh? Jumpe jommmmmmmm. Meet up laaaaa. Marzie dah bubble aku! Kate nak datang tempat keje aku, beh tak datang. Walan. Sad you know :'( hahaha. Jom jumpe. Rindu dehhhhhhh. Gi makan jom. hahaha. Macam takde keje lain gitu.

Kay I nak tdo. Bye. Oh lupe, reply tagboard.

shiykin: haha, shy girl? kau bikin klakar? hope not. hahaa
- aku shy what. shy to new people la. aku kenal kau dah bertahun kin, aku baru keje sane.

ez: your latest post pic hot pe! i like! haha
- you like? i like also la. hahah. mmg hot, sebab i stand in front of the tingkap for good lighting, berpeluh sia. hahahahah!

Siti Jazlina: Wang saku dengan menaip data pengiklanan Internet. Untuk maklumat lanjut, klik sini http://onlinejob
- ah kay.

nee: shasha. currently you schooling?
- cute name. haha. you think? ya tuhan. soalan cepumas.

2010-02-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

Currently blogging hrough phone. Kesian my adik nak pakai laptop. Siak. Padahal dia hari2 pakai. Aku yg keje tak dapat pakai2.

Besuk keje from 12pm - 10pm. Mind you eh. I part time keje waktu full time. Cb tak cb? Beh gaji siket. I don't think counted as OT sia. Parangai papuks. Baby also started working. Dia nye scedule baru part time nye scedule. Pantat. Whatever ah.

Keje so far okayla. Just that aku banyak kene closing. Leceh dok. Haiyoma. Wtv loh. Tmr malam keje dengan baby. Wahhh. Gi sekolah pun lain2, nih keje like kelakar loh. Haha.

I think ade org ter-switch my mum ah. Hahahaha! Mule2, when baru2 i seek permission to hightlight dia bagi stern 'no' now dia bagi green light. Then baju aku mane boleh sembarang2 beli, semalam dia yg pilihkan aku baju tak cukup kainnye. But nih la badan kecil takde size. Beh ade spin the wheel ape bende. Dapat voucher $10 treading. Ade dia tanye aku nak bikin tak, sedangkan p5 dulu aku cukur kening kene beleteh. Hahahaha. She treating me as an adult already ^^

Still got long way to go sia bfor gaji masuk, cibsssss. Dahla. I nak rest. Bye!

Reply to tagboard when i use laptop okay. Bye!

2010-01-30T11:24:00.001+08:00

Currently having my breakfast, time check eh. Breakfast la sangat. I don't really eat in the morning, that's explain why now that I start working, I only have one meal per day. Morning tak boleh makan (tak biase), have lunch around 3PM at work, and malam balik dah too tired to eat.

Hoho. Nih macam boleh kurus :D No, not obsess with my weight, but I want to get the babat off. But one of my workmate (Idk her name, she asked for mine, but I didn't ask back, HAHAHAH! kurang ajar sia nat!) said I look 14-15 years old?!?!?! Bikin kelakar kape. And she's 18 years old tapi lagi pendek dari aku -.- She say my hand so thin. Aiyoma. I know. The fats don't want to go to my hand, only nak gi pat my perut :'( That explains why I can't wear rings, why I need to punch another hole(s) (can go up to 3-5 holes okay kadang!) when I buy a new watch. Pukkkkks. Tangan, gi gemok la.

Second day of work was pretty fine. Datang kene siang 10 min. Duduk bbl2 dengan Px. He bodoh don't want retake sia. Aiyoma. So then, kul 12PM sharp dah ade costumer. On time pah?

Paling boleh buat gile, from 7-9PM non stop flowing in siol costumers. Aku boleh gile. Ade 3 runners, tapi tu E babs, asik main hide and seek, mane tak dia menyorok. Px yang host pun kene tolong. Nbcb. 3-4 times uh run out of forks. Friday keje boleh mati. Sampai cawan dengan mangkok ice-cream pun run out kene pakai plastic cups -.-

Tadi assistant manager call, suruh masuk keje. Sorry. I promised bbyboy to teman him. Sigh. Bby baru keluar hospital last week (?) abih now, bapaknye lak masuk. Kesian dia. Sigh. Idk how mama can handle. Even Ilah cried, "papa sakit". Cried sampai ttdo. Ya Allah. Doa2 takde pape.

Semalam abis keje gi hospital. Cab back to bby's Nenek place, terus naik bus balik. Balik terus mandi. Berlengas! Terus msg2, goooooone. Tdo.

I need to finish my Mee Soto, bath and meet bby. Bye!

shiykin: yo sister. chill uh kau. adoi, bace blog post kau mcm hmm. another fight? biler mau end? haiya, chill uh. smile always oiyee
- haha. okay2. alah. taknak game nye fight2 nih semua. *smiling*

Syayie: be strong shasha ! miss you ^^,
- a must thing to do! :D miss you too! hopefully cny performance I tak keje *pray hard*

shiykin: kau mcm enjoy je kerje tmpt tuu? haha.
- enjoy2 jugak ah, penat nye boleh mati, duduk cume bile makan, break. tu je -.- okayla. cume, masih tak ade kawan, so tak berape fun. i shy girl you know. haha.

There's always a first to everything.

2010-01-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

Tadi pagi tengah sedap2 tdo abih ade unknown no. call. Aku dgn suare tdo jawab, teduduk sia bile dorg suruh masuk keje, in two hours time. Lincar kadut. Bby antar. Okayla. First day banyak kene suruh2 an. Biase. Ceh. Bbl mcm pernah keje gitu eh. Haha. Logic ah.

First day je dah kene extend. Sway. Buat closing. Peak hours macam nak mati sia. Tapi best. Aku clumsy, tapi tadi aku angkat pinggan mangkuk steady je. Tapi tu la, tangan kecil ade sikit payau ah.

Nih terlentang atas katil, kaki penat, mate dah mule la nak kuyu nih. Rock on.

Wa nak tunggu bbyboy wa balik. Kay dah balik. Wa nk msg2 dia. Terus, booooooom. Tdo.

Adios amigos. Astalabista babey. Please, come again.

mepek sak nat! Bye.

2010-01-26T22:30:00.005+08:00

delete the smiley mouth and turn it upside down.

aku stress rabak sia. PX tadi msg asking me to go for another interview, sebab outlet dia keje, the one at Tiong Bahru short of workers, part time. at first aku ade la takut nak break the news pat bby sebab, dorang nak satu orang je. check2 dia mengamuk pasal pat Tiong Bahru not Buona Vista. sedih sia. but i told PX already i'm heading down in the afternoon, sebab pagi kan nak kene check which school i'm posted to and all.

aku desperate for a job, sebab aku takde duit. kering. pokai. i don't like asking money from ibu because i feel bad. i know, its not suppose to be that way, but i don't like. aku keluar pun untuk suke2 je, nak suke2 pat luar pakai duit sendiri ah kan? tapi masalahnye duit aku dah habis. so, sekarang nak keluar kene mintak duit. so, aku tak keluar la jawabnye.

semalam aku keluar pun, duit ibu bagi aku tak ambil. sebab gaduh dengan ibu lagi -.- tu takpela. aku tak ambil pun pasal aku ade duit. now dah abis. remember i said i need to do some shopping? tu la. duit lagi.

duit duit duit. boleh gile sia. sekarang dah dapat keje, asal nak kene tolak kan? ye. budak2 sane semua fierce2, tapi dorang laki, takkan dorg nak ape2kan aku. tol tak tol? keje je sia. balik keje kau risau nah, kau ambil aku la. susah sangat?

aku takkan nak sia2kan r/s kite yang bile bulan lime nih nak masuk setahun untuk budak2 yang perangainye tak perlu. nak risaukan ape lagi? aku tak faham. kau kate kau risau, apasal? aku bukan budak kecil lagi tau. bukan eh. i'm stepping my foot to poly life lagi ade. (itu pun kalau dapat masuk uh)

aku manusia, bukan robot. aku ade otak aku sendiri untuk fikir. i know what best for me. i decide my life. kau kalau kate aku asik pentingkan diri sendiri, kau pergi fikir balik okay. aku taknak ungkit. tapi kau pi fikir dalam2. aku bukan peloket, aku bukan suke2 sendiri. aku nak melawar, kau pun aku lawarkan. kau gi fikir dalam2 ape aku masuk sal tu. no. you're not my doll, but aku nak kau gi betulkan kaunye line. aku pentingkan diri sendiri? SALAH.

i'm never selfish. i said i was caged? i'm giving example, tapi aku boleh confirm ah, satu hari, kalau gaduh lagi, you WILL use this against me punye, confirm! yela. aku mane boleh gi chalet, tol tak tol? mane kau percaye aku gi camp, kan? aku keluar dengan kawan pun, kau nak ambil? kan? aku online pun nak tau. online nih kalau aku flirt pun kau tatau la -.- tsk. aku ade harge diri okay. aku tau aku dah ade matair, aku takde nak gi cari jantan lain, jatuhkan maruah aku je buat pe.

duduk rumah pun kau nak "jangan macam2 au". kau bilang aku la, pat rumah aku boleh buat ape. paling rabak pun aku fantasize over those male actress ah, tapi takde okay, just saying. itu sejauh mane aku boleh buat kalau aku asik mengadap tu kotak tv. takut aku msg laki lain? sorry eh. dah tak. ye, dah tak. dulu ye la. dah tak kenape? kawan pun salah pe kan.

if you said you changed for me, i did change for you. takmu kate tak kay. lagi, selfish lagi?

aku pentingkan perasaan kau okay. bukan perasaan aku. kalau aku keluar ambil gambar tak semestinye aku suke. ade beze. gambar pun boleh jadi masalah nih. aku pening ahhhhhhhhh. kau nak tau bende? aku nak be frank rabak nih. aku RIMAS! rimas ah. semua bende tak kene. ini takleh, itu takleh, kene gini, takleh gitu. dah bagus aku diamkan, ikut je tau.

tak bersyukur lagi ke? sigh.

what i'm sad most about is, everytime we fight, you use what i said against me. aku tak suke eh kau sindir2. lagi kate kau bbl baik2. tak kelakar tau. aku tak suke disindir. kau tak suke aku tak layan kan? fair pe. kau kate in r/s kite kene fair an. fair ah nih.

suke tak suke, aku tatau ape nak cakap. aku penat asik aku yang diamkan diri. i know, not that you didn't ask. you did. but kalau aku cakap pun, nnt kau counter balik ape aku cakap, aku malas. so aku diam. bile aku diam, takmu tanye lagi. fikir. kalau tatau sudah, tanye3, tak shiok.

sekarang aku nak tau, kau balik. sigh. idk what more to say. sedih kau tau tak. kau dah sakit... sigh. takpela. suke kan kau? aku marah pun kau tatau. aku selfish kan. hmm.

tag reply :

shiykin: hahaa. yes, melayu best per bace. eng, leceh-.- haha, aper seyy jangkit aku. rabak! alalalala, sweetnyer post kau. utk rai dgn adek kau jer? utk aku tkde? HAHAHA, tatau malu
- yela kin. sweet eh? makaseh. yela. kau pun nak jugak? haha. that time aku dah nak tulis seh, untuk MANSS, but the aku malas -.- so tak jadi.

ez: korea nmpk! hahah ;D hope ur bby will get well very soon. and hope he wont smoke aft gg tru this ops ehh (:
- a'ah. korean ah kan. i hope so too. doa2 la kan. takmu hope ah, must. dia rokok, ketok kepale ah -.- cari penyakit lagi. ez pun same, stop rokok la kalau boleh. hee. kepo2 plak aku nih. okay sorry. haha. org memain je. takmu ambil hati.

Nadiah: Heeeheee. Random tag (: Korean seh ..
- a'ah la kan. korean. i keep asking for your url, taknak bagi seh. nangis nak? haiyo you.

Syayie: shasha, i'll tell you more about her when i go online kay ? i seldom online this days. been busy with school. packed timetable. anyway, cheer up. rai will be fine [: miss ya !
- alright. me either. nak online ade susah sikit uh. hmm. alrighty. i hope so too :) and yeah, miss you too! update me about CNY performance :)

shiykin: eh kaua der kerje eh? wee,
- soon, i guess. tatau. tu time aku belum tau nak dapat keje pun. niari baru PX msg. insya allah dapat. kene gi interview lagi. peh dol tu keje. doa2 dapat uh.

so, i replied to my tagboard already. dah tak remas tenguk tag same. selagi aku tak reply tagboard, selagi tu takde tag baru. boring pe?

you don't know how sad i am behind this screen right now. you said i didn't care, you said i mnl (AGAIN! lost count dah aku nih kali, kali keberape), you said i didn't bother to read what you wrote to me on msn.

you don't know i teared up behind the screen. you don't know i was about to write back but i hold myself. when i'm sad, i'm cranky. i keep myself mum because i don't want to bombard us with more problems. i don't want the matter to grow.

every time we fight, you'll leave the house. don't you know how bad the image is on me? kalau mama tanye u gi mane, u nak jawab ape? stress duduk rumah pasal gaduh dengan shasha, gitu? kalau dulu, i'm less worried. kau tau balik, nih kau tak balik2 sia bie. kau gi mane?! kau duduk rumah mak kau tau, bukan rumah nenek lagi. lagi2, kau sakit kau tau tak. kau sakit. kau sakit kau sakit. kau sakit. lagi nak keluar rumah. kan kat luar sejuk. kau dah tatahan sejuk. balik la. sigh.

asal kau tak call2 aku nih? kau gi mane? sigh. now kau bilang aku, siape yang tak fikirkan perasaan siape? u gi fikir la bie. i rimas rimas pun, i masih fikirkan perasaan u. asal nih. lagi kau tak percayekan aku sayangkan kau. kenape? pasal history aku tu dulu ah. bile aku ungkit kisah lalu kau, kau marah. sigh. aku tatau ah.

sememangnye aku rimas, tapi tetap aku sayangkan kau. aku perlukan kau.

What men should know: A woman who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things but will stick around.
i'm still holding on even if i'm hurting myself countless time. don't ask me to explain why, i don't do that. think. if i think its a small matter, i'll be back to myself, but if i think it actually is a big deal, i'll remain mum. when i keep quiet, i don't do it on purpose. just that i'm countering EVERYTHING you said to myself so that you won't get hurt. i'm no selfish bitch. so when i ask you to stfu, you just keep quiet until i grab your hand. when i feel like explaining, i'll do it without prompting. asking help, but when i refuse to answer, stop.

all i want now is to know you're safely back home. go home, go home, go home! sigh.

bodoh tak bodoh bilang aku?

2010-01-24T02:15:00.005+08:00

I regret big time! Seriously. Tenguk uh. I'm in need of new clothes sia padahal.

Me : Bu, masuk situ (point kedai baju)
(dah sampai luar kedai)
Ibu : Nak masuk taknak?
Me : Tah. Takya uh. Buat bodoh uh (walk away)
Ibu : Tak jadi masuk?
Me : Tak. Dah lincar jalan.

Call me stupid. Sumpah. Why? Cause I don't bother going shopping bile tengah kering. Buat sakit hati sia. I scared nnt ibu ask me to pay using my own money, I mati. Duit dah habis siol. Sigh.

Babi nye tempat keje. Aku bakar jugak uh!

Takde mood nak reply tagboard. Bye!

I go update some other time.

ps: atleast bby's out of hospital already. Love ya.

It is as hard for me, as for you bby :(

2010-01-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

Haiyaa. Bby, you operation nih, how? Kesiannnn nye. I know. Tak suke seh. Tapi i was one of those yang suruh dia go through the operation. I still hope he'll stop smoking after the operation. I know its hard, for me and Mama, can? That is weeks to go. Now im praying hard that the operation goes on smoothly. I just want to get this over and don't with. If can, i want to be at SGH now thankful that you're now out of the operating theater. I hate that place. That place remind me of the months and months Nenek had to be there, hours of waiting for her. Thankfully Nenek kuat, i nak you kuatkan diri. I tau you takut, i pun :( just pray. Meeting you later at five in the morning. Operation better be quick, i want see your face la baby. Kay, nak nangis. I know i once said i dislike you, but dislike and hate has a VERY different meaning. I still care for you deep down, and I've been telling you so many times, no matter how much we fight (nak masuk hari2), i still need you so much. Whatever happen, you're still my one and only favourite boy!

I love you. Im crying for you. Be strong. Ily!!!

2010-01-20T22:03:00.001+08:00

Ini my adik. His name eh, Ahmad Noor Fami bin Hami Noordin. Nih budak kan, annoying tau kadang2. Kau tenguk uh. Dia pat katil sebelah nih time dah nak tdo. Dulu aku nih time masih buat homework. Asik tanye, madang takde je -.- asik nak aku pat sebelah dia tolong buat homework dia. Walan. Ini kalau sec three tak masuk first class mintak kene terajang. At times, i want him to do better than i did bcos he have me. Duh. Time aku, mane ade abg2 aku nak duduk sebelah tolong homework. Asik tanye, madang tatau. Sedih kan? Now, ibu pun asik "sha adik balik tenguk dia buat homework". Check2 tadi dia main comp, terus makan, main bola, now tenguk tv dengan aku. Alersmak. Haha. Grow up la Mr Bo(tak). Haha. Kau la sorg adik aku. I want you to do well (yet at the same time idw you to beat my scores, lol). Wtv, some percentage in my heart, i want you to do better so that the disappointment i gave ibu ayah atleast terubat jugak. Same time, lessen my burden. Haha. Too much expectations on my back, wa boleh gila loh. Kay tall boy, takmu expect banyak sangat, i'll be busy soon, (hopefully) with sekolah, i may not give you my 100% attention directly to you, tapi adik tau kan kakak watching you? Jangan salah kawan laaa. Sedih tau. Dulu boleh la kakak choose you friends for you, now adik dah boleh fikir loh. Kay? Sayang kau walaupun kau lagi tinggi dari aku. Hahaha.

Walannnnnn. I go post another post. Update pakai hp ade limited words. Macam siiiii. Tsk.

2010-01-20T00:26:00.004+08:00

Ignore my damn asshole face but look at his. He look awesomely cute here. Wait. I go save as draft, then blog through phone cause I want to baring on bed. Hee :D my face nihhhhhh gamba bulat sia. Tak cool sak. Gemokkkkk. How? Diet pe? Taknak makan sebulan? Hahaha! Macam faham. Kaylaaaaaa.

Backkkkkkkkkk. My mum has yet to buy me a new laptop. I think its gonna be delayed further. My first brother just got into a big huge fight with my parents smlm. Thanks doh! Alersmak. Speaking of ytd, i got myself god damn gila babs pain in my stomach after having feast with my family. Pagi2 nak nangis sia. Tapi after wa yak-yak (hehe), ate panadol and burped numerous time, i got myself more sleep bfor meeting my mum at Jp. Tu pun lambat.

Went around town with baby, on Monday. Haha. Tak ramai org. Best. Aku rimas ramai org. I reached home on the dot the clock strikes, my curfew, good not?! Haha.

Niari gi polyclinic. Kecoh. Kak mona (baby's aunt), nenek, and baby's mum ade. Dua toddlers macam satu kindergarten sia. Mamas memekak, Ilah pulak pendiam. Tapi degil dua2. Ilah cute. Pipi tembam bulat. Mcm aku baby xD

Dah tu gedebak gedebuk, (malas nak elaborate psl gaduh -.-) terus balik pun bfor curfew.

I added moee korean songs to my playlist. Haha. Idkla. Dah kemarok korean -.- don't ask me why. I tadi got a lot to say. Now dah lupe. Ohhhhh!

Besuk ehhh. Baby's operation :(((((( maybe im going to visit him at his mum place lepas dia keluar. Tak biase. Selalu pergi rumah nenek dia. Aiyoma. Main ps2 kape. Haha. Okayla. Dah banyak mengarut aku nihh. Bye!

Aku nak keje laaaaaaa ):

2010-01-18T00:21:00.004+08:00

I miss dancing like god knows what okay!

I can't wait for school to start and still considering to have malay dance as my CCA, or one of my CCAs. haha. I miss dancing man. That is, if I get the school of my choice. Sigh. I want go berak. Bye. Hee. Then tdo I think. Sebab ~~besuk~~ pagi2, 9.30 meeting my mum at JP. Then go meet baby. Tak jadi go polyclinic. Besuk baru. Haiyaaaaa. Bored. Kay bye :D

2010-01-17T17:53:00.000+08:00

Aloooooooooo. Hee. I'm all prepared. Waiting for dad to reach home and we're out. Idk where to. Makan2 dah tu tatau gi mane. Besuk going poly teman baby check-up i think for his asthma. Leceh eh nak operation? Haha. Then lepas tu kite dua nak merayap loh, before the 21th Janurary, Thursday. Sigh. Nanti kene dua org dengan mak dia very pelik hor. He'll stay in hospital for two days. And 2 weeks makan bubur, sedih pe? Awww :( people lesson learn, kalau sakit siang2 lah pergi doctor, and smoking isn't good at all man. It only makes things worse adelah.

Tadi plurk dengan Shiykin pasal aku takut darah. Hoho. Sumpah tak tipu aku takut darah okay. That time gi hospital dengan baby, dia ambil darah i hide belakang tembok. Di kate sakit mcm tindik. Haha. Tindik hidung lagi sakot. Mangkok. Mane la au tu. Lagi ngeri aku. Tindik telinge pun time aku baby, mane ingat sakitnye kan. Eeee. Gie uh darah. Serammmmm. Tapi kalau aku jatuh darah, luke, first time aku buat aku ketawe -.- tatau why uh. Haha. Dah tak betul. Okay gtg. Ayah dah sampai, agaknye. Ibu dah pekik2 tu. Hee. Bye!

2010-01-16T17:02:00.003+08:00

(agak-agak macam gitu la warna rambut saya)

lets now reply to my messages on tagboard. haha.

Farhan Syah: Ahh i gave up reading your post halfway. HAHA Penat.
* haha. sorry la. i was mad. so, i wrote a lot. haha. i bet you finished reading already :D

hidayah: shasha , i just reading ur blog . everyday , ader je cerite yg HOTHOT ! update lagi tau . heh .
* eh? makaseh. read la lebih2. hot eh? hot sangat sampai membare orang yang tengah type nih :D

shiykin: kau giler kot? again, aku post kau with malay kau. yeay. ape-ape kau bebual in lmy aku phm, jgn eng sudah. terpakse think, aper yg kau nak tulis. haha, anw, makcik kpo tuu amek O level ker? hahaa aku lost tao bace. anak dier yg amek ke dier? haha, kpo tuu dpt brape, aku nak tu jugak. hahaa. bestbest. post maot. pnjng, syiiiioook. i like, plus very much. weeee!~
* asal aku gile eh? asal tak faham english? english kau padahal power2 dari aku eh. -.- tak la. aku panggil mak dengan anaknye dua2 makcik kpo. haha. bab yg mak nye makcik aku la, anak nye pulak kpo macam makcik2. hahaha. aku tatau dia get how much, dan tak ambil tau. tak kuase. read lebih2 kay. haha.

happy tak Nurashikin bte Jasmani i replied you tag? haha. okayla. sorryla. korang tag panjang2 macam -________-" aku bace nak type balik panjang2 macam malas sia. tapi for the sake of Nurashikin, i replied, sweet or not Shiykin? haha.

i wasn't suppose to update loh today. sepatutnye i kat town or something seh now. firstly, planned to merayap with my Mimi la. sekali tadi pagi ibu kate nak ajak keluar, makan2, or go buy my laptop you know. sekali ayah called kate dia OT sebab partner dia last minute taknak bawak taxi. kiwak. hampe sia.

so gaduh loh with my Mimi. sigh. he called, wa tak angkat. dia msg, wa tak reply. that time wa annoyed, now wa rindu dia macam nak rak seh. tsk. tapi nak msg dia macam pelik gitu. ppd dia dah abis loh :'(((( msg2 aku uh, tapi aku tak reply. aku off hp lagi ade -.- tsk. nat, kau peh ego macam sial uh. i know. sigh. wa sangat sangat sedih sekarang. siape mau cheer wa up? sigh.

today i ate a lot because yesterday, my Mimi said i was thin. nih anak kadang bbl belit2 seh. one moment kate orang gemuk, dah tu kate orang kurus. hehe. kurus sebab tangan kecil buat pe -.- haiyaaa.

sigh. kalau tak dah pakai baju baru keluar seh. sigh sigh sigh. nih la nat. tsk. takpela. ade lain hari lagi. hmm.

aku mendakla. tatau ape nak type. sigh. dah la. kalau aku tau ape nak update, aku update. tak, tak uh. bye.

why does it matter so much missy?

2010-01-13T20:16:00.007+08:00

okay tak jadi. i just post here. 'cause i very malas. so used to blogger. good or not? ah, actually rambut aku kaler takde gini terang okay. thanks to the window pat polyclinic uh. hee. time tengah tunggu ayah ibu ambil obat.

anyhoos, aku tengah binget rabak. sebabkan, firstly, buang duit aku highlight, kaler atas kepale okayla, makin nampak (i think) tapi bawah makin fade. sad uh. tapi happy, dah tak payah takut dengan ibunda aku lagi. ceh, ibunda eh. bab tadi dia langsung tak marah, dia lagi boleh "ketuk kepale! tipu ibu lagi (laughing away)" ade aku tipu dia eh? hahaha. so, now, i need to save molla and go highlight lain tempat. babi nye tempat. haha.

secondly, (wait aku lupe, aku tau aku binget pasal 3 barang, no 2 aku forget. hee) okay forget it.

thirdly, tu makcik kpo strikes again. mule2 aku binget dengan dia dulu sembarang2 buat ibu fikir bukan2 pasal aku dulu, then dorang pin-point orang lain. aku ah, yekan je la. dasar tak sedar diri, correct? by my side ah konon. hello, gi tenguk cermin kay.

sekarang dia sebar2kan satu kampung kate aku fail aku nye o's. kau biken kelakar kaper? aku fail ke kau tak puas? kau haha hihi huhu sini sane apasal? aku takde pernah sekali, sumpah takde sekali pun, ambil kisah hidup kau sia. bile ibu sebut name kau je, terus aku shut down sia. "dah uh, tak ambil kesah uh tu makcik kpo" all the time ni sentence keluar. ibu pun tau aku dah sumpah, mnl perangai kau. lebih teruk dah mnl, dah meluat, lali, dah nak muntah, dah nak macam jahit kau peh mulot, kau tau tak?

kau tanye aku nye results amacam, aku kate okay. kau tanye aku gi mane nye course. aku bilang satu, kau nak tau 12 12 choices aku, apahal? penting eh? keperluan hidup kau eh nak tau course ape aku masuk? o.0 bile aku tanye balik kau ketawe ape hal? taknak bilang kau punye takmu tanye orang punye sia. tolong uh. irrits sia perangai. buang mase aku msg je. nasib unlimited sms eh.

kau takmu cakap "juying cume ade satu express class je, tu pasal" satu express class pun, kalau aku masuk sekolah kau, aku boleh masuk first class okay. science stream. tak macam kau, tatau malu. kau second class takmu macam faham.

kau tenguk uh. kau belajar bagai nak rak macam mane pun, psle aku menang kau. nih pun, kau belajar macam -_________-" tapi aku confirm ah, aggregate kite tak jauh. kalau kau menang aku pun, satu dua point je. aku tak bangge, tapi nih fact, kau tak nampak ke? lagi nak ketawe kan aku? kau nak aku retake aku belajar gile babi, kau malu nanti. hahahaha.

aku tak kesah kalau kau nye aggregate lagi bagus dari aku, sebab apasal, atleast aku ade kebebasan bile aku nak belajar. without pressure from my parents, i can still make effort to study on my own. i don't need prompting. i know its my mistake i studied only 1-2 months before o's. tapi kau tak perasan ke? haha. aku kesian tenguk orang macam korang.

sebab apasal, people like you are only happy with your life seeing other people's downfall. you guys are never satisfied with you life despite the money you guys own, the car and good job. you people are never happy when you guys have competition. you people want to be at the top so you get the name.

nak aku translate? KORANG CUME BAHAGIA TENGUK ORANG LAIN SUSAH! aku takde heran. kau susah payah belajar, tiap2 tahun dapat bursary, aku pun xD kau famous bab kau prefect, i don't need to be one to be known in school. sorry babe. you don't compare yourself, with me. wrong move my dear.

aku tak kesah kau siape, yang penting, aku tak suke orang sembarang buat defination tentang ape aku cakap. aku sindir asal takde respond babe? dah uh. lagi bbl pasal korang, lagi mengirap. nih bukan sekali, and i just know la, that this isn't the last time. whatever move you do, YOU WON'T BRING ME DOWN! muke kau muke tembuk, muke aku, well, aku sedar aku siape, tak macam kau missy!

***

dah uh. buang electricity je bbl pasal dorg eh. silap2 aku betul2 delete facebook aku cakap.

anyhoos, niari aku boleh shopping sakan, tapi tiap kali ibu tanye nak taknak, i just say, taknak uh. sampai dia fed up. bagus kan tu? aku tatau asal dia fed up.

ibu : semua taknak, semua taknak!
me : dah bagus kakak taknak. save duit pe. pe je. tsk.

aku yang naik binget lagi. haha. oh! lupe nak bilang. tapi pagi bangun rumah kosong. jadi mandi. siap2. naik bus sembilan puluh sembilan, jumpe ibu ayah pat polyclinic ah kan. dah tu, tu bas peh biadap, dah nak sampai seh, betul2 pat bus stop jurong west lame, tatau ape jadi. terus bus berhenti.

sebelum tu, makcik duduk sebelah aku turun. aku pakai earpiece la. dengar lagu. terus are lelaki berbangse tionghua duduk sebelah aku. adelah aku fikir dia yang membawa bau-bauan yang tidak enak itu. check2 bus lah! hahaha. siak uh. kurengs sia. terus naik 99 lain gi jumpe ibu ayah.

alangkah terperanjatnye (HAHAHHA!) bile nampak wawak -.- dektu dah garang. rambut aku dah gini. tapi takde lecture langsung. (nasib)

ayah cholesterol makin naik. sigh. bile doktor kate "your chances of getting heart attack again and ... (tak ingat ape) is very high" aku tu moment macam nak nangis siak. teringat time aku p5. okay now aku macam nak nangis. hahaha. tu moment aku macam nak hug ayah je sia. sedih rabak sia. okay dah.

dah tu gi causeway. makan. dah tu gi john little. ah, tu ah convo tu happen. last2 aku beli dua *ehem2*, make up nye sponge, dengan this make up cream powder ape merepek ah, share ngan ibu. takmu tanye pasal make up, aku tak faham. aku tau, foundation, bedak, eyeliner. tu je. hahahaha! tu pun tadi aku tak pakai apape sia. cume moisturizer dengan bedak sikit -_______-" wawak lagi offer aku beli make up. banyak2 make up sia. mimi aku tu dah tak bagi pakai make up. hahaha. so aku beli la bende lain.

dah tu gi value pulak. tu part la ibu tanye pasal rambut. hahaha. tapi sebelum tu dia dah bagi green light. haha. cute la mak aku nih. haha. "ketuk kepale baru tau!" dah tu chiow. balik.

then baby came over. apply sekolah untuk dia pulak. terus dia balik. aku pun tunggu ibu ayah balik kul 7. tatau asal niari aku penat semacam. hmm. macam pasal aku yang tukang bawak2 barang kot -.- hahaha.

okay, ape lagi uh? aku pun tatau. oh! ade syayie kate aku skinny. aku last weigh aku 40kg, now, tadi weigh 41kg :(((((((((((((((((((((((( aku nak turun, ade berat badan aku naik pulakkkk. dah tu muke makin bulat pulak tu. sighhhhhhhhhhh. hahaha. okay dah. bye!

tmr teman-ing baby go hospital. kene bangun pagi. but its alright. i'm afraid for 21 january. next week. i takutttttttttttt :'(

2010-01-13T19:08:00.001+08:00

I'm updating on tumblr. Aku tatau kalau2 lah makcik kpo tu tau blog aku. Stalker mah. So, nak tumblr ask me.

actually obvious jugak url aku.

aku malas nak blog, sumpah.

2010-01-12T21:05:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHA! Don't follow ni timing oi, tipu, its actually already 10PM. Only after an hour then I blog. Good or not? Hahah. Fake. I go plurk first, the go cook, the go eat, disturb my brother, bloghop, only when I'm tired I realise I opened a page for updating already -.-" Bengs.

Okayla. I very malas want to blog using good English, 'cause no matter how hard I try, I still get D7777777777. Pengap. If not I can go SP happy happy with my course of choice. Sigh. My English pulled my grade like ffffffffffffffffffffff. Not for English I can happy happy go MI even. Bodoh uh!

Aku post pasal niari je la kay. Aku malas rabak ah sia. hahaha.

Woke up at 6AM++ because my little brother gi sekolah. I know, tiap kali dia gi sekolah, bukak pintu bilek je aku terbangun. Tak mengamuk? Dah tu kul 8AM gitu mak aku lak kemas2 rumah. Kecoh babe.

9.15AM bangun. Call my Mimi. hahaha. Cute kan name? Name legend. Dah tu mandi. Siap2. Check2 kite pakai baju same kaler, seluar same, dengan slipa slip on. Ni macam gi interview eh? Aku dah macam gi lepak sia. Ibu ah nih. Gi pakai slipa org -.- tsk. Sampai Tiong Bahru, nih PX biadap. Msg tak layan, sampai aku mengamuk. Manager dia cute. Lupe bawak application form. Interview tak sampai 10min tuk kite dua, tapi dia peh tunggu -__________-"

Aku tak nak sia kalau dapat kene kene branch Tiong Bahru. Takut dok. Staff ade tatt eh. Liang la ape la, aku tak faham uh bende2 gini. Tapi insya allah, maybe kite dapat yang pat Buona Vista. And kalau dah sekolah, keje dengan sekolah satu train station je, power gedegak!

Then gi posb teperanjat duit dah nak abis. Terlupe. Cause I bought seluar dengan baju loh. Then gi makan dengan cash yang both of us ade. hahaha. Sedap. Dah tu gi Bukit Batuk.

Ah, nih part kau boleh cakap waste current turun BB. Niat turun cari kedai gunting rambut. Then pusing2, msg Faezah, reply "cepat" sangat. Kite pusing2 BB dah macam main amazing race cari tu kedai satu. hahaha. Dah tu, give up. Naik bus balik jurong. Dah naik bus baru perasan kite salah side BB. -____________-" Malas nak turun bus, so buat bodoh terus gi Jurong.

Gi keluarkan duit. Banyak gile. Aku takut. Tapi not for us. For baby's grandparents. Dah tu, plan nak beli contact lens, tak jadi bab tak worth it.

Gi central ano rambut. Cekik darah dok. Baby mintak highlight, tu tua kerepok gi kaler satu rambut. Dah member marah -_________-" Alah tak munasabah. Lagi nak bbl buruk kate aku takde duit la ape. Mau check per?! Siak pe tua. Dah tua tua cari dosa. Actually dia bangse tionghua uh. Binget. Dia fikir bbl bahase dia aku tak faham. Sakit heart.

So yeah, my life very mendak. Nothing to post, bab tu tak post. Find me on tumblr la. I never malas. Nak msg-msg baby nih. BYE :D

ps: aku belum mandi, rambut bauuuuuuu smelly.

2009-12-31T14:51:00.002+08:00

This is how I welcome 2010,
by crying.

Thanks mum for controlling me, thanks dad for doing nothing, thanks brothers for being on her side. I know your intentions are good. But fuck up. I got fucking feelings. Tatahan, satu hari, don't be surprise if I run away from home. I'm sick and tired of this fucking shit!

I fucking cried like nbcb in front of my mother but she ignore, ni macam cakap mak? I don't cry silently I tell you. I don't. Suck it, Nat. I'm not worth anyone's attention. I'm sorry. I'm not worth anyone's love. I'm sorry. I'm not worth anyone's care. I'm sorry. I'm not worth being well-treated, I'm sorry.

But, its very worthy to shout, scream, and throw fucking nonsense at me the moment you stepped home. ITS VERY WORTHY TO IGNORE MY FEELINGS AND THINK THAT I'M NO GIRL, I'M A DOLL KAN? DOLL THAT YOU LABEL YOUR DAUGHTER JUST TO BRING SOME PROUD-NESS IN THIS FAMILY.

look, without me, people look down on us. without me, i don't think little brother will be such a goody unlike all your other sons.

2009-12-30T21:57:00.002+08:00

rock on \m/

made myself tumblr, cannot resist the cool pictures.
awesome. i don't follow trend, please and thank you.
just that i think that picture tells a thousand words,
but to get that kind of awesome picture need a
thousand more effort in it.

be nice to me, ask me on msn for it.
idk if i'll be more active here or there.
kite tenguk macam mane yer.

2009-12-30T20:24:00.001+08:00

to much to ask for?

2009-12-30T18:52:00.005+08:00

please, that's all i'm asking for right now.

[edit]

I'm bored right now, and finally, after days, I'm using my laptop instead of phone. I'm drinking my strawberry milk tea that I askd little brother to buy for me. Thank god! 'Cause my mum act goody good and bought out of the world punya flavor and abang gg said it tasted awful. LOL.

Okay, by the sound of that, you guys know I'm not in good terms with my parents again. Stupid shit la. Anyhow only. For once I was telling the truth, and shits just have to happen. BODOH! Geram tak geram? Wtv. Only I know.

Mum just (few seconds ago) said this :
" ... Kau tenguk, mak kau asik membebel je. "

And I said :
" Hah! Tau takpe. "

And I don't know if she heard me or not, but seriously, she's pissing the hell out of me. She said she isn't trying to control me, wrong. And then, she said she wasn't trying to be unfair to me, lagi very wrong. I'm a girl, bla bla bla. And I have brains too, remember that. Wtv shit uh. And now my dad is home. Lagi malas nak layan siol.

KAU TENGUK UH! My abang can go out without telling them "a day before" in advance, and tell me again why I said they didn't treat me the same? Kau. BINGET AH SIOL! Nih holiday, aku sepatutnye happy, kat luar tau. Nih tidak. Terperap pat rumah macam babi sia. Makan tdo makan tdo. Bangun binget sendiri. I'm not going out with my parents tmr. I don't care. Siape mau pi layan sia. Countdown siol. Gi mati la.

sigh*

Lesson learn, don't keep things to yourself too much, 'cause you never know when it'll be too much for you to handle. By the time you know, the world just is going down with you. You'll be unhappy, and frustrated. To make matter worse, to keep things to yourself, you have to tell a lie. And if you're even more unlucky (like me) your lies and all those feelings will hit you hard one day and it will be double the pain.

- however, I, Nurul Natasha, just cannot tell people what I really feel, 'cause I JUST CAN'T. I rather keep it to myself, and cry myself to sleep having to miss how much my life was soo much fun in the past without all this shitz. If telling the truth don't work, and telling a lie screw you, that what's right to do? You tell me. I'm seriously in deep shit and I'm sick and tired of my parents controlling. Not only my parents, somebody too. I don't need all this shits. And if you come along with this shits, I rather get rid of you that to keep you close even though I have feelings for you, now or before.

mati la, Nat. Kau hopeless. Kau tak gune. Kau penipu. Kau bohong.

I never get what I used to have before, freedom.

2009-12-28T02:59:00.000+08:00

Ivjust wrote two pages full in my diary. Oh-oh. I hardly write in my diary until something HUGE happen. And this is gigantic.

Nobody ever in my whole entire life ever (!) asked me to decide between my best clan with you, who ever you are. Im greatly disappointed. I tried to compromise with you but all i get was, 'what's you decision?' right in my face.

Baik pe. Aku sabar, aku simpan perasaan aku, takpe.

Ps: this make my decision even more stronger.

2009-12-25T19:09:00.000+08:00

I'm tired. Tired from having to lie all the time! I lie for you, and got myself into shit lots of problem. Problem sftee problem. I have more then enough to handle. From family, to friends, to you. I just need time alone for myself. I want my hectic life back. When i'll be tooo busy to even think of creating a problem. I hate eventhing! Benci! I want my bloody life back. Go away! Leave me alone! *sigh

*breaking down

2009-12-25T06:10:00.002+08:00

know what, i just wrote a chunk full of shitzx about my life, be it how i feel neglected by my friends, or major huge problem with the Boyfriend. but i highlight it all, cut, and paste on my private blog, and wrote this crap to tell you that my life isn't "fine, just fine" anymore.

I want to move! Exercise!

2009-12-21T15:34:00.000+08:00

Well hello hello. I'm seriously bored. Lying on bed right now. Susah dapat wi-fi dok. Feeling so sleepy but in fifteen minutes time, momma gonna wake up for work and this is the only time i have to sneak out to meet baby. I'm so called grounded fot coming home late. Ah. Late la sangat. Not officially grounded but by the look of my momma face, i can tell. Sad much?

Anyhoo, was suppose to go jogging with my momma and her mates tadi, but tak jadi for some reason. Was really looking forward to burning some calories. However, we all went out for lunch together. So much for lossing weight lor. and tomorrow plan to go swimming pun canceled sia. Binget pe?

Mendak sesangat. And somehow i feel like cutting my hair short. How?? Baby gonna scream man. Tsk. Oh yeah! Bought myself a flip flop i've been eyeing on since we window shopped after snow city the other day. Thank you ibu!! haha. Just told her yst and i got it today. Still pamper me hor? I thought she hate me alr since i keep giving her heart ache. Wtv.

I've ben reading a lot. Bored mah. Finished reading The Truth about Forever by Sarah Dessen, again, the other day. Started a new budak2 book semalam, and dah abis bace today and halfway through another different budak2 book. Those thin books with lots of words ah. Only 100++ pages je. Then only i start on some book more exciting. Save the best for the last ah konon. Cik Yah just gave us lots of books. No need to go library alr :D haha.

Baby getting me choc, and im yearning for strawberry milk tea. Mcm hari2 aku minum pun ade -.- tsk.

Little brother doing his hw. I miss school la!!!

Kay bye.

i'll work things out.

2009-12-18T22:28:00.006+08:00

Hey you! Miss muah? Bet not. There's nothing interesting my my life until.. today. haha. I finally had an outing, with my family though. I still enjoyed myself. Baby, don't say I enjoy myself in a sarcastic matter, I still think of you, and I still miss you no matter what. Well, as you'll can see, picture legend doh! Because I don't have camera (spoilt) and handphone either to snap snap, but the mfk LG is coming to my place tomorrow to return my phone that was due weeks ago!

Refresh how furious I am eh. Firstly, send there, and the fvck person behind the counter wasn't cooperative. I'm very dependent on my momma, so I asked her to help me talk to the lady, but she don't know anything about gadgets (she really doesn't), so I had to do all the talking myself which I'm definitely not used to. And I went to call my momma when it was my turn, but that ohhh soo impatient lady skipped my number, like hello? So, momma just cut through and that old man was kind. So, I had to do the talking, and really wasn't in the mood alr, and this girl (dah bukan lady dah) had to bitch in chinese. And did her damn job so tak ikhlas. Aku takde heran, tu handphone aku punye mah, so I gave her one gdi attitude lah. She said in Chinese that the old man gave way to me and I was late, so she takde mood. Mereps. So, I just sembarang2. She doesn't even asked in detail, just take my note and stuff uh. So I thought settled. When back.

Then it was already a week. A week to repair a phone, can repair car alr I tell you. So, momma called them up, and they said tomorrow can collect. To my dismay, masih tak boleh ah kan! Binget tak binget? Buang mase aku lari sini sane gi vivo balikkan. So, the other guy, I think orang atasan sikit, help me out and retype the whole thing in their system and promised to sent my phone to my door step by the end of the week, which is like, last week?

So, two days ago momma called again, and LG called me yesterday. I gave the phone to my momma. She told me that it isn't ready. Aku peh binget nak mampus, aku terpekik2 pat dapur. "Nak masuk sebulan sia, dah boleh repair banyak kerete, satu hp pun susah pe?" So, she said that my phone still isn't ready, and asked some questions, she thought my simcard got problem, hello miss? Sim card got problem, dah selesai dah masalah okay. You think I got nothing better to do ah? Not free you know sent repair.

So, she then quickly hung up before my momma got the chance to nagged at her. Then today she called me up again, saying they can send my phone now. Its ready. Baik per. Asked her to come after noon since my momma with not be at home in the morning.

You tell me, siape tak binget?! And my second brother just got himself a sidekick nokia phone that was just released. I want something new, my momma bising. I want work ah!!!

Okay, lets just end this shit by saying, I don't want anymore crap. I miss my phone so much. Now, all I need to do is buy myself a new micro SD memory card, cause I seem to lost mine already, damn small, how to notice it fell out from my purse? :'( I sad you know. Got a lot of nice nice picture me and baby just took tak sempat upload loh. And all from 1st till 6th (exclude 5th monthsary baby never wish me, no ppd D:) monthsary messages confirm chop delete dah. I terdelete the one I saved on my simcard. Now only got the 7th month one, the one I send him de -.- He craved a message for me, but since ppd low, it's in his phone, and mine in my phone, how sweet, not.

I also badly want the slipper that I saw. Momma, please please please? I've been good right? *angelic face* Walau, I never go out for a week alr you know! Tak ke bagus tu namenye? I have some cash on me, but I don't want use leh. I want that slipper leh. So comfy, so sleek. Atleast I have a flip flop then. Haiya. I must get it. Idc. haha. And I also have to pay my library fine, and Wawak's library fine. Then I can happy2 go borrow books and not worry about having baby to pay fine next, hahahaha.

Anyway, that isn't my purpose updating sia. Merepek siak Nat kau. My purpose is to show this :

happy famalia

zyra's boots damn funny. lain2 kaler. glove pon.
she was holding my hand okay.

Sleep late, woke up early, dead I tell you. And we took a lot of pictures, but only picked 5 and and cost us 50 bux. wtf? nevermind. I saw some familiar faces. Small world. Won't elaborate much. I just had fun with zyra though my fingers, toes, and definitely butt hurt, I still love the experience. Should be going again with bigger crowd :D I love my family a lot a lot.

I feel happy today. Very happy. Firstly, baby got somewhere to go. Not nowhere to go tau! Just, study well now baby, please, for me lah. And for yourself especially. And my goodness, what's more plus plus is that I chatted with all those I miss so much, like Syayie, best-boy-as-a-friend, hafiz and khad to congratulate him, and some others.

Now korang dah tau mane korang stand. Tak kesah manelah. Do your best cause life don't end here. For baby, you know you mean a lot to me. So in terms for academic, change okay sayang. Please please please. I'm proud of you. I do. Sumpah. Your effort that counts, and I see you trying right before my eyes. I love you very much. Misses.

And for other that dapat masuk sec 5 dok, baik per. You prove me wrong definitely. Proud of korang jugak. No more main2 hor. Like you know, N and O ain't the same. I want you guys the achieve better than we do. 1 year advantage is able to change a lot. And you guys know, I love you people as friends a lot too. See ya people soon!

Well, I feel better. I better go off now. Need to do some changing to my bloggie.

I love and miss you.

2009-12-16T08:50:00.010+08:00

& I'm all wide awake. In fact, only got my eyes close for minutes, before mum came into my room and start nagging. Sheehhhhhs -.- Waiting for baby to call now, and I have to keep my eyes open till 4 before I can sneak out of this house.

one word : PATHETIC.

ps: I wonder why my brothers can sleep in boxer and I can't.

If only they didn't fix my spoil door knot, I fucking have all the privacy in my room. How the f. do I get use to it. The door has been spoilt since months ago, and dad only fixed it, yesterday? And you nagged about me locking the door?

HOW LONG HAS THIS HAS TO GO ON?! YOU'RE BEING VERY UNFAIR. LOOK AT YOURSELF WHEN YOU TALK TO ME. I'M ME, NOT YOUR SECOND CHILD. I KNOW MY BLOODY LIMITS. AFTER TWO YEARS OF STUDYING, I'M ONLY ASKING FOR TWO MONTHS OF FUN, TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR KE?

irritating.

and i'm still not satisfied that fucking pathetic boy that i thought was a prank. pasal nih musi, i fought with baby cause i thought it was him, hey, don't blame me, he pranked me before, sampaikan i scold "him", binatang before. I've deleted some of what I reply, cause full ready. So i roughly hantam. I just want to show how pathetic the boy is ah. If I get to know who he bloody is (cause he seem to read my blog) I swear I won't let him off ah. Suke hati eh maki aku? Aku pe, kau punye little girl pe? Funny ah? You seriously sound god damn ass pathetic sia. Desperate. And if THIS f. is a prank, sumpah aku takkan maafkan kau. And I see how I you can take it with me not talking to you, ass!

PB = pathetic boy (And seriously, I hate how he type sia, bodoh, tak gi sekolah?!)

PB : Hie:)
Me : You are?
PB : Bob..mind intro..?
(didn't reply)
Xcuse mie..eu der..?
Me : (tak ingat what I reply, but I know I asked how he got my number).
PB : I'm bored..can eu entertain me..?eu said u cud..it was stated at ur blog..
Me : (again, I couldn't remember, but I know I said I don't entertain people I don't know).
PB : Den..if eu noe me..will eu entertain me..?btw eu attach?
(mnl, tak reply)
Natasha..?
Ehlo..!eu der..?

(if you fvcking know my blog, you also would fvcking know i'm attach. it's all over my blog! and, that makes it even more likely a prank? kau fikir aku pe, bodoh?!)

PB : Entertain me..pulease..! (desperate? ah tolong, sumpah, pulease sounds more like police, kang aku call satu, mati kau. bings*)
Me : Go find someone else. Bye la.
PB : Noe..!i want eu..!be wif mie..? (i thought among those typical ppl noe = know ?)
Ehlo..!y eu never anser mie col..? (plain dumb, its answer, hello? bdk primary pon can spot that mistake.)
Me : Why should i? Who are you to me?! Must ah? Why do you call in the first place? You asked for an intro when you know my name is natasha. I have a feeling i know who you are, so just stop it ah. Nothing better to do? Enjoying yourself? Irrits ah.
PB : meet mie 2moro..?
I just want to noe eu better..eu have a feeling who i am..?den try 2 guess..who i am..?maybe eur anser is correct..?
Me : I don't bother cause seriously, i don't have the mood. And well, thank yourself. Now tell me why i shouldn't be mad at you? Hentikan ah.
PB : Cause i onli want 2 noe eu..better..!
Eu der..?
Me : Kau boleh tolong stop tak? Irrits sia. Buat darah aku naik sial. Kau nak ppn gi cari ppn lain. Nih macam cakap lelaki. Buat ppn mengamuk malam2 bute. Diam sudahlah.
PB : Nabei..response lah..!
(nih part darah aku mengirap, sumpah! and response isn't the word eh -.-)
Me : Its up to my liking ah if i want to respond. Free flow pe say bad word? Nbcb. Big deal.
PB : Den kau taknak layan aku..pehal..?kau ade laki ei..?
Me : Aku ade laki sorang je la. Kau apasal? Mengamuk pe?
PB : Kau pegi layan laki kau swa..aku pukul kau baru kau tawu..laki kau sekaly aku sebat..
Me : Jantan betul kau eh? Hahaha. Dah strong ah eh? Kau siapa sia? Kau yang nak mengamuk apasal? Siapa yang mencari kemarahan siapa dulu?
PB : Aku strong ah..ape..?kau nak complain laki kau..?complain ah..!muke laki kau cnfem pecah punya. (ade aku mention aku nak complain? kau apasal siak?! -.-)
Me : Kau tak bahagia dengan aku, takmu babitkan sayang aku. Kau yang muke tatau malu kacau aku. Bob ah kan. Thanks ah. Kau nak, gi msg sorang2. Aku dah mnl.
PB : Cayang kau..?aku cnfem pecah kan muka laki kau..aku caba kau cnplain dkt laki kau..!!
Me : Kalau aku bikin ape aku dapat? Hahaha. Oh aku lupa. Mnl. Bye.
PB : Kau dpt tenguk muka laki kau pecah..!cepat..!aku caba..!
(wanted to reply, bilang pun kan nak pecahkan muka org, tak bilang pun kau nak pecahkan. tak faham aku. tapi malangnye aku in the mnl mode. so aku tak reply.)
Kalau kau sayang laki kau..kau baik bilang die now..
Oi bodo..!tak response ape hal..? (NO ONE, NO ONE I REPEAT, CALL ME STUPID!!!)
Me : Aku bodoh ke kau yang bodoh? Musi betul.
PB : P_p_k kau busok ah sundal..? (from now onwards, banyak question mark, dasar tak gi sekolah).
Me : Yang sundal kau. Kalau kau ade buah, kau bilang ah siape kau. Takmu sebok2 ambil hal aku ah siol. Anak jantan, buah takde!
PB : Kau mepek ah kau..!kau pegi dkt laki kau lah.tak payah susah2 layan aku..cakap sayang..den layan aku ape hal..bodoh..!!!
Me : Aku tak layan. Kau yang melampau cb. Kau fikir aku nak duduk diam sedangkan kau kutuk caci maki aku? Dasar takde buah. Desperate betul kau. Ppn orang pun jalan terus je. Kau bbl dasar keling ah. Aku tak layan, mintak begging siol perhatian. Dah dapat suruh aku takmu layan. Kau tak cukup kasih sayang eh?
PB : Sundal..kau pegi layan laki kau lah..aku dah naik malas nak layan pompan cam kau nie..bodoh nak mampos..!!niites.
Me : Kau bodoh yang bodoh! Loser. Da tatau pe nak cakap step mnl. Strong lah sangat. Hahahah!!!

& this matafaka never reply. Kau kalau fikir kau free flow boleh maki aku, kau salah! You made yourself look very pathetic, desperate, and lacking of love from be it friends, family, IDFC! And again, if this was a prank, I don't fvcking care who you are, you deserve the utmost worse silent treatment from me. You don't go round calling people stupid I tell you, definitely not me! I know I'm not stupid, so you ass out there don't have the bloody right to call me stupid. Pantang siol. Kau fikir kau mane peh pandai gi buktikan aku sekarang ah!?

what ever major loser.
+65-8398-5379
siape2 tau, tell me, please! and i seriously PULEASE don't want it to be someone I know. disappointed ah siol. kalau korg nak tolong aku tuk prank ke ape, sile2. pintu terbuke :B

.
.
.

i need to get myself more books, a need slipper, tops and bottoms and take the damn phone!
End year sale, here I come :D

2009-12-15T21:36:00.002+08:00

Firstly, I would like to apologize to baby, 'cause he said this once, and I think I did it again. He said whenever I'm on the computer, I'll neglect him. I'm sorry. Sorry, really. I wonder were he is now. Worried sick whenever he's out because he himself don't know where he is going, and his credit has been low since, forever. He can't reply what so ever. So sad.

My apologies. I seem to let my blog dead and rotting. Firstly, I have nothing interesting enough to blog to entertain anyone who's reading, plus, I blog only when I feel like it, and I've also been merajuk-ing with my parents because they're simply very effing unreasonable, so I stayed in my room three days straight only to go out if they're in their room, or urgently in need of the loo.

I miss those everyday school days because I miss being soooo busy. Busy with homework, self-studies, and stuff, busy with dance too. But too bad it ended already. What I miss most is the fact the my every was already being planned out. Wake up, school, home, study, and even if it sounded so sickening, I miss the hectic lifestyle. I miss having to rush to MacD after my afternoon nap for self-studies with Shiykin and the gang. I miss the fact the I actually have a reasonable reason to stay away from home -.- I miss that I always have a reason to ask for money everyday.

When out the other day to ECP with baby and his friends. It was alright but we came late and had to go off first. Took the last train and swear to god, I wish I had super power, I really wish I could teleport back home.

I'm seriously out of idea what to post, because my life is such a bore. And I have soooo much of problems lately and its killing me. I want to release it to someone, but who? I tried talking about it to baby otp, but he keep saying I was talking too soft sampaikan aku binget, terus malas nak ulang. I'm weird. I don't like repetition. Be it if someone asked me to repeat what I was saying, someone repeatedly asking me the same question (lagi-lagi if I purposely don't want to answer), ugly repeating patterns.

Okay, sekarang aku marah. Someone is pranking me. Texting me saying he is Bob. Bikin funny joke? I HATE PRANKS! Aku sumpah layankan je. Kononnye aku tak cam nombo ah. walandeh. Mendatangkan kemarahan. Tapi aku chillax. Buat bodoh sudah. Bob the builder tol.

I'm getting sick of the template. I might just go find new one. Bye people.

how i miss the past.

2009-12-08T22:20:00.004+08:00

you like this picture don't you? who is she again to you? well well. you asked me if i cared about you? you tell me, what sort of a question is that? who am i again?

why didn't i made the first move? it was because, you jump to conclusion, yet again. yah. yes. this is me. always complaining about how i don't like this, how i don't like that, and how i wish it was the other way round. i never stop whining, and tell me what you gotta do next? if things ain't worthwhile for you, then i wonder what's your next move. maybe you regret, but i seriously hope you don't. if i'm way out of hand, if i've outta control, i'm sorry. i think i've change, but if you don't know what to do with me, how am i able to stay strong to change myself to be someone who you first fell in love with?

seven months isn't short. to think of it, its my longest ever, and i just broke your longest r/s ever too. so tell me how this could actually be easier for me to deal with than you? how i actually don't care, cause i seriously do.

you changed to someone better for me, i'm so effing sorry, if i turn out worse for you. maybe this was a mistake to start of with, but now we're in it, lets make it work.

i was down, because when i talked to you, you almost always say, i don't feel like entertaining you, more precise word, MNL : malas nak layan. that moment, no i won't. that was how i talk. i was actually so excited you called. so happy you called. i wanted to talk as long as i could, but you just have to say that to spoil my mood.

my patience ran out because the movie load so slow. my mood was down because you have to hung up on me. i didn't have the chance to say what i always say to you. i don't know why it's so difficult for me to explain things to you myself, why it's even harder face to face. my mouth just zipped, and nothing came out from my mouth. i just can't. but i can do it indirectly, more to through messages and blogging. but that point, i wanted you to know, that i was down, but you didn't. and you just have to think that i don't care.

i know its my fault. but why is the negative thinking still there? i thought you said we'll work things out. but if you don't trust me, then how am i going to help you along? when ever i say you don't, you get mad, but tell me why you don't like me going away on camps? tell me why you don't like me sleeping later than you do? tell me why you don't like me sleeping over my cousin's? why you don't like the idea of me having chalets? i made my mistake once, and it wasn't really a mistake, but i apologized, so just leave with it. i don't know how to regain your trust, cause without trust, its really rather pointless.

before being with you, my ex-best-friend was a boy, other than my favourite four girls in class, my other friends were simply more boys than girls. i was a not-so-but-still-tomboy with long hair in primary school. soccer, basketball, badminton was my thing back then. my cliques always have more boys than girls. and every time i talk about my guy friends, you go like - i don't like him, he's not that cool like you think. well, yeah, my friends ain't cool. only yours is.

look around, i don't even know if i ever have any friends, cause i'm always with you. no, i don't blame you for that, i really want to be with you all the time, but every time i'm with my friends, even my girls, you still don't feel at ease. why? no trust. well.

i still love you and i'm still holding on. maybe i change of this. but still, i rather feel this way, than feel having to loss you. i love you. so please hold on to me...

disasterous?

2009-12-03T22:25:00.003+08:00

" aku tengah berbual dengan kau tau bodoh "

look at the date. no. i'm not having fun. in fact i'm mad. outrageously mad.
did you just call me stupid, or was it just my hearing problems?

i tried to make things sweet though we didn't have any main plan like we usually do.
but i know.
its just me. i just lose is.

fight fight fight.
four days of crying ..
three days of fighting ..

STILL COUNTING.

sick sick sick

2009-12-01T19:31:00.005+08:00

I'm feeling nausea right now. I feel like wanting to vomit since morning, but i just can't because my stomach is empty. Nothing looks appealing enough to me to be consumed other than fruits (don't ask me why) but all the fruits at home are either rotting, or simply tasteless like this apple i cut. I only ate like a few, and don't feel like eating it anymore.

I have high fever yesterday, maybe because I slept late the night before, or because it was drizzling when I left home. But I didn't regret a bit, 'cause I have boyfriend by my side, plus, he was there to take care of me and watch me sleep, gave me medicine, and took my temperature for me. Sweet ain't he? But once I reached home, it was a disaster. My fever that has already subsided came back doubly harder on me, and I just couldn't stop crying because I thought it was the end of everything for us. But, thankfully, he made a promise and I did my part by promising too. We've been through a lot, and he don't fear facing what I fear most. Still, I'm grateful that he is still here by my side, not bugging anywhere else. I'm glad he changed, he changed for me. I never felt anyone loving me so much like he did. I never believe any guy can change, especially some playa in past. But he prove me wrong, and that shows one thing : he truly love me from his heart. Maybe I always hope for too much. Its time for me to get back to reality, that everyone may not be to my liking, and no one is perfect. If we work things out, we'll get near to perfection. I never want to loss him, but I don't know what the future holds for me. But I definitely want to know, that he, Mohammed Raimy, is still in my future, somewhere very very very very very very very near still, next to me. Cause someone like him, is hard to get :')

Why can't just they be like other sporting families? But I was simply touched by my brothers text messages. Though I text him, cursing him, and pin pointing at him, he just was simply understanding. But, damn it, it made mum wanting to beat the hell out of me. She didn't reply my text messages, and worse still, every time I have high fever, I'll always sleep by her side, having her taking care of me, now, I just slept alone with the television and the lights on. (Still traumatized by paranormal activity).

Didn't get to meet boyfriend today. He seems to be worried about me. But yeah. What to do. I don't dare.

My eyes are god damn blurry and my head is freaking heavy. I feel like vomiting but I just couldn't.I feel like my body is dying on me. Just grateful that the high fever was over. It made me wake up every hour last night. And boyfriend was sweet enough to wait for me until I was sleepy though he was yawning every now and then. I simply love him.

Anyway, I miss my long hair man. This always happen doesn't it? Laugh out loud. But I don't regret cutting even though boyfriend cut it any oh how and ade petak okay, but isn't that obvious, and I know how to seal it. And I also miss using that purple watch that boyfriend bought for me. Boyfriend's green watch pun dah pecah -.-

Anyway, I think I update long enough, but Farhan Syah and Alim tagged me on Facebook to do a simply lame quiz he made out of boredom. Here goes nothing :

1.Cat or Dog? Cat Dog cannot ah by the way.
* non of the above mention.

2.When you wake up, who would you want to see first?
* boyfriend text message, since I can't see him himself.

3.What's your favourite drink?
* strawberry milk tea, peach tea.

4.Lemon tea or Mango tea?
* peach tea, hee. lemon tea.

5.What's your fave burger?
* McSpicy.

6.Coke or Pepsi?
* I don't drink black water, aka air hitam -.-

7.Soggy or Crunchy Fries?
* crunchy.

8.Coffee bean or Starbucks?
* coffee bean.

9.Prefer curly or straight hair?
* curly.

10.Do you mind people SMS-ing you just cause they're bored?
* don't mind at all.

11.Who is your inspiration?
* i don't know.

12.What colour would you paint the walls of a house?
* my future house with by purple and green :D

13.Black or White?
* white.

14.Do you actually think Michael Jackson molested children?
* I don't doubt so.

15.Would you rather waste paper or plastic?
* I don't really care.

16.Do you believe in 2012?
* I haven't watch it yet.

17.Comedy or Horror movie genre?
* Comedy please, no horror movie for long long time now.

18.Which is more relieving, Shitting or Peeing?
* what sort of question is this? OKAY NEXT!

19.Do you point out others mistakes?
* depending on the situation.

20.Is love really blind? Or is it Deaf? -.-
* love got no face. so cannot blind, deaf also cannot.

21.Mum Or Dad?
* dad is more sporting, but mum is some what more important? I guess.

22. When was the last time you liked/ loved someone?
* since the Third of May, and still loving him.

23.To what extent can you take a joke?
* if it doesn't hurt my feelings, I'm cool with jokes.

24. Favourite teacher?
* Mdm Maslinni.

25.Facebook or Friendster?
* I still prefer Facebook even though some KPO aunt bad mouth me. Friendster is so last season.

26.Favourite colour?
* Purple please.

27.Pink is the new black? Or Red is?
* Purple la.

28.Afraid of Cockroach or Lizard?
* cockroach is my greatest enemy, and lizard is boyfriend's fear.

29.What is the most gruesome thing you can find on the toilet floor upon entering?
* air kencing berseparan. Boys will be boys!

30.Calling or Sms-ing?
* Both.

31.Judging from the following phrase, Who is on fire?
'' Alexisonfire'' ''Alex is on fire''
* sesungguhnye, I don't understand the question.

32.Do dogs perspire?
* no. dogs don't perspire, that is why they have their tongues out. I'm clever right right right? hahaha.

33. CB= Chee*** or Chris Brown?
* dumb question. it definitely don't stand for Chris Brown.

34.FTW = Fuck the World or For the Win?
* i thought its WTF but terbalik? 0.0 now I feel stupid.

35th question. Were you honest throughout the whole Thing?
* yeah, of course. what is there to lie about?

Off to watch Pua Chu Kang now, bye! Tag me lah people! tsk.

it is freaking morning but i can't sleep.

2009-11-30T03:48:00.002+08:00

All my cousins and 3 nieces. Not in : Abang Yan, Kak Yana.

the 5 girls in the whole entire Ahmad family only.
Kak Yana is missing.
Well, without realising, front left to right, according to age.
LOL.

I can say, she's the closest cousin on my mum side other than Dinie.

Look at the time. I can't sleep, and all thanks to paranormal activity. Fuck it. Sumpah menyesal nak step heroin join my cousins to watch it during HRH @ my granny's. Sumpah malamnye takleh tdo, until I had to call my lifeline, and got myself into a whole different trouble. Thank god nothing happened. Still save. But, I guess, that's my last lifeline.

First day of HRH was alright. Other than PA that we watch, Zyra and myself watch this other movie online, Ugly Truth, I still don't know the ending cause it was time to go back home.

The next day, all I did was to sleep at Cik Yah's cause I can't sleep the night before. Wth. Due to that, I got a wholesome of lectures. Took train to Pasir Ris. Changed and I bloody almost went in the MALES toilet. Kiwak. "Ni toilet laki siol!" Luckily i haven't entered, and even luckier, nobody saw me.

Van-ed to Downtown and Along [first uncle] treated the whole family Sakura. Awesome. But halfway, the whole Sakura blacked out. And I can tell, my family is the noisiest bigest bunch there. We occupied 2 whole stretch of table okay. Itu pun, satu family missing. Family problemo.
Zyra ate unagi, TWICE. Unagi = belut = EEL! eeeeew~ But baby said it is nice. Taste like fish with no bones -.-

Then we shopped a little and I got frustrated. Abang gg was there what, so he gets what he wants instead of mua. grrr~ I'll get my hands on those pants soon, right baby? haha. I only managed to buy a purple t-shirt.

Decided to sleep over at Kak Arah's place. Watch another movie with Zyra online, Minor Detail, and Barbie and the Three Musketeers the next day. hahahaha! The cat so god damn cute man! Bath around like 2 plus and cooked. Kakak tatau keluarkan taik udang -.- So i did it, and Zyra helped. While slacking and watching another movie, Twilight (!!!!!), Acik called and asked us to walk to IMM. Bummer. Was just about to get to the peak of the movie. So yeah, clean up and walked to IMM. And cabed back home.

Home sweet home, and I fought with the Boyfriend, till we almost when separate. Luckily we didn't, cause we're turning 7 months very very very very soon.

My phone when haywire, but when it's okay now, I recieved a text from him. Let me type it out, it's ohhh so heart melting, i shed-ed some tears man.

I never thought it will go this way, as I know I love you. I love you so much till I can't stop thinking about you. My love for you will never fade away. You brings me joyfulness, happiness and more. Without you here by my side, I will feel lonely. I always wanted you to be by my side and this empty loneliness heart. I love you very much. If we were separated, I feel like taking away my precious life. For now, you are precious to me. You means a lot to me. If can, I want to accompany you to sleep. Again, my love for you will never fade away.

Well, how? This whole chuck actually made me realise he truly means it, and yeah, I know he does. Well, this whole paragraph make me love him, yet make me feel so sorry and such. Why? I put him to much shit. I'm sorry. But you know ilyt.

Goodnight.

change of template again, lol

2009-11-25T18:19:00.003+08:00

Yeah, I know. I can't stick to one template. I still prefer plain template best. No pictures what so ever. Well, what can I say. My pictures with my babes and one and only hunk, mr.j, is enough to brighten this ~~dull~~ blog, don't you think so? LOL. [perasan moment sebentar]

Anyhoo, stayed home today. Mum disallow me from leaving home. BUMMER! Such a bore at home. I'm waiting for mum's arrival, hahaha. She will be bringing back home my strawberry milk tea. Sedap or what. I yearn for it since morning. Other then that, only when mum arrive home from work will I get my clean pair of hands dirty with flour and potatoes and sardines. hmm. Yep. Making epok-epok for Hari Raya Haji. It's the BOOMZ. hahahaha.

I miss RED camp man. I miss Vikings. I had major draw back the moment it ended. I kept hearing cheers from different tribes in the train back home, the bus engine noise sounded like music to my ears, macam baracudas [or something the spelling is]. hahaha. Nonsense kan? But wth, it happened man. I miss my horny tribe. I miss the cute funny SLs, but baby hate me going to that camp. hmm. We have our issues. bluek~

I miss the great FOC food too. haha. Enough about RED camp loh.

Anw, kalaulah masih ada manusia yang bernyawa yang membaca "blog" saya ini, tolonglah tinggalkan "link" kamu di "tagboard" saya. KALAU TAKNAK TAKPE!

Mum is home, she was talking to me and didn't realise that she didn't put the bubbletea properly and booooooooop, it roll and smash on the floor. Dah satu strawberry milk tea pecah. Helped her out or she start nagging about how tired she is. nyet. Settled.

Okaylah. Niari aku manyak merepek. Better get going. Kesian nih computer on for a day. Kasih dia rest. Goodbye!

A week more before our SEVEN month baby.
Can you imagine that? SEVEN.
I didn't know I can manage that long, because so far, he's my best, he is the best, my longest partner ever. Best boyfriend ever.
We have been through a lot together, but I bet the best, and the worse, have yet to come.
I have my ego, he have his negative thinking.
Flaws that need to be thrown far far away.
So far so good, no major big problems so far,
Alhamdullilah.
Maintain okay, sayang kau!

Tue, Nov 24th 2009, 11:01 PM
shiykin: update, very gooood. haahaa (:
i know i good. thanks for the compliment. you're good too. haha

Tue, Nov 24th 2009, 11:00 PM
shiykin: haha, weirdo tol. cucheng aper bende seyy? word kau like wooh haha. ah yee. busuk2 -.- haha yeah dah
cucheng tu bo cui, bo cui tu obvious lah deh. ceh. hahaha. minah rep tatau word minah pulak. alersmak. fikir kau faham. bluek~

Tue, Nov 24th 2009, 10:59 PM
shiykin: Hahaa , eik, tell fee about it. I also wana beach. hahaha. Boleh mae pasir. mcm rindu pasir plak aku
hahaha. tell her? kau lah bilang. kau kan rajin kan. haha. pasir je, mandi mande taknak? takut eh kin? hahaha.

waesrdftgyhunj - tak bermakne

2009-11-24T20:55:00.004+08:00

I'm having major x1,000,000,000 cramp right now. All thanks to my period. Pedih bagai nak rak. I think after this update I'm going to lie down on bed. Bo tahan okay people. I use to have period with no cramps. Those were the days man. hahaha. Seriously ah, pain man. Guys better be thankful you people don't need to go through menstruation, so if you do have girlfriend/wife/fiance and they're having period, better don't get them mad. Mane nak tahan sakit, mane nak layan karena, boleh mati loh. Okay dah, stop it.

Anw, I miss school, don't you? hah! I can't believe that I actually said that. I keep saying that I won't miss school, but now, jeng jeng jeng. I miss PE most. sigh. Nevermind.

I've already cut my hair. Jeng jeng jeng. Baby and myself cut our hair for only $2.50. hahaha. Cheap? Cause we bought the jagged scissor and I cut his hair, he cut mine. When he was cutting my hair, mak oi, banyak per rambut dia gunting. But I trust him obviously, and the outcome was great! I love my hair 'cause now, tail maha obvi. Thanks baby, but need some getting use to. Cause its a little short than usual, and damn thin. Bile ikat dah macam tak senonoh gitu. Nasib sekolah dah abis, tak payah nak tie hair. heeeee. Siak uh, nih perut.

Baby's now yet back, worrying 'cause he is also having cramps. Asal pun gue tatau. hmm. Waiting for his call. I might go for another interview tomorrow. Insya allah if jadi lah. I got some job offers, but belum tau dapat tidak.

Abang dah dapat call, going interview tomorrow. Aku takde habuk pun. Cheat my feeling only. Okay nevermind. Sumpah bo tahan nih cramp. I'll update some other day.

Going to have my dinner and eat panadol, booooooom! Terlentang atas katil. Bye.

lastly, i'm so envious with school that have prom night! puki, binget siol nih sekolah. _|_
takde appreciation sungguh. dinner pun tak boleh. SENGKET!

Tue, Nov 24th 2009, 04:01 AM
Nadiah: Hello Makcik! Don't be naughty ok? Tagged~ Tag me also, if not i slaughter you ! K lah stay jambu(:

Sejak bile je i become your makcik. Ish. Taknak uh. hahaha. Unglam. Eh sayang, you lah don't nakal. Mengajar yang tua je. haha. Good luck for your result little miss genius! haha. Eh, your link eh? How to tag? Alersmak.

Mon, Nov 23rd 2009, 09:06 PM
shiykin: update :(

Alala busuk2, takmu sad. Dah update dah. Nothing much. Life aku boringggggggggggg.

Fri, Nov 20th 2009, 10:07 AM
ez: hello natasha! lame tak tag. hee. th i gotta feelin video cool!

HELLO! hee. Cool an. Semangat tu ppn joget. haha.

Sun, Nov 15th 2009, 11:43 PM
shiykin: kau refer to saper. hehehe, bijak bijak (:
Sun, Nov 15th 2009, 11:43 PM
shiykin: But, btol, its nice. woo, im so jealous. hahaha (: and and, chillex uh post kau. I think aku tau

Iyerlah kin. haha. Kau tau takpe. Boleh tahan cucheng. Tapi takpe. Biar loh. Tatahan marah ler. hee.

Sun, Nov 15th 2009, 11:43 PM
shiykin: hahaha, lol. Dah, o level dah lpas. Nak think balek ps; sd, smue dah gone. hahaha

haha. Tau takpe. Sad rabak. Fee kate nak buat outing. Please ah. Beach ah? Main captain's ball. Rindu serindu rindu nya siol. hahaha.

stbfu!

2009-11-15T13:56:00.005+08:00

finally, home is peace and quite. seriously. if you already loss in a stupid argument that really isn't on your side, then just stfu. it only put you to shame, really. especially when all your siblings are higher educated than you. no, i'm not putting him to shame, if you know who i'm referring to, but he really disappoint mum and us that's at home listening to him. if all this argument put me to tears, ape lagi ibu, betul?

god, it is starting over again. i have to shout just to shut him up. itu pun he dragged me into the situation when aku sememangnye takde kene mengene. he only thinks for himself. what does that damn fucking girlfriend of yours said that made you turn your back on us? i mean, kau sekarang memang kene support dia atau kite? if you are trying to say that we, your siblings, are 'gone case' , at least we made our foot to secondary level. second brother finishes his education @ ite, i just finishes o'level and little brother is in express stream too. kau?

at least we never fought with mum this much. at least we bring home something for mum to be proud of. at least we spent our money wisely and i definitely think that once little brother and myself step our foot into working arena, we will spent our money firstly on our mum. not any other b*tch. asshole.

you're seriously one. i don't know who you are to me anymore. no. seriously lah kan. i don't look up to you, never. seriously. you bought me a necklace, and its still with me, you bought her the same necklace, and what happened to it?

you got no one on your side. just stbfu cause you are seriously absolutely on the losing side. you cause everyone to fight. dah lah. i won't get to meet baby cause i don't dare leave home with only mum and that musibat at home. if he dare to point a knife at me, throw a glass plate at me, slap me till my ears didn't function for a day.. i just don't dare.

well, to your eyes, he may seem the best boy in the family, so kind, so hardworking, so bla bla bla. don't be fooled. he's putting up a show. at least we don't fake. we are the same at home, and outside. tak macam dia. i'm cool with people bad-mouthing me, why? CAUSE I CAN BACK IT UP. unlike that musibat, terdiam sekarang. i'm going to help mum no matter what. you're a loser.

prove us you're more than just you damn words.
we're more god damn important than that bloody bitch that you won't even secure how long she will stick with you.
you're still my brother.
yes, you don't deserved that label,
but you are.
SO ACT LIKE ONE.

finally change template.

2009-11-13T17:46:00.005+08:00

before i start, i really am irritated. i tried to change the font size and the font itself but i can't :( i get irritated looking at this big font. yah. it is big for me. i like small, cute fonts. i don't understand template codings. so i can't seem to fix it. how sad. never mind. just bare with it :( fussy, i know.

went out today with my parents, eldest brother and little brother. our motive was actually to make a new passport since we're going holiday to Malaysia [pathetic, tell me about it, but i'm thankful enough] next month. It suppose to be on the 21th. yah, wth 21th. i have spray painting competition on that day, and i can't back out leaving fee doing it all along, she'll be dead tired. thankfully, mum called acik nina up and it was brought back to next month. how happy can i be then? hee.

anw, before we proceed, mum and dad sent eldest brother to this job agency since my elder cousin asked him too since he's now work-less -.- so yeah, i asked mum JOKINGLY if they can find any jobs for me too, and while helping eldest brother to fill in the application form, mum asked the gentlemen that will be interviewing my brother about it. and yeah, i applied too, and i went for the interview first. first time doh! very unprepared, i came with basic tee with jeans that i've been wearing since primary school, with haivanas sandals with "cincai" make-up on -.- he was friendly though. the interview was like English oral, pun ade seh.

ironically, acik told mum that zyra is also heading the same place for an interview. what ever. then, made new ez-link for myself since i lost mine -.- i used my secondary 3 picture and i look very fat. what ever. at least its easier for me to travel now.

then, mum asked me if i know how to scan picture. like hello? then she said might as well have our passport size pictures taken and then i do all those necessary things on the internet and thus saving time and money. since she have cash on her, no time to waste, we head IMM to have our lunch at Banquet. we all had steamboat and i had fun laughing with little brother.

then i asked my mum for clothes. GREEN clothes to be specific. no, i didn't change my favourite colour, it still remain purple, but since i'm in the "green group" for red camp, i need to wear green for all three days.

bought 2 tees and a dress and we're off back home.

it started to rain heavily so our plan to do grocery shopping was canceled so does the picture taking plan. head home and fought with mr.j, uncool. but i guess now everythings fine. i guess. sigh sigh.

mum cooked rendang, my favourite. but she isn't back from work now, worrying. but i know she's fine. i'm waiting for her to be back now. goodbye, before leaving, watch things, freaking cool, and this damn vid actually cheating my feeling. haha. just watch, you'll know what i mean. and oh, obviously before watching, pause the song that's on my blog -.-

End of o'level babey!!!!

2009-11-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

Omg!!!
I can't believe it that i actually survived o'level. I think i work best under pressure but i dont know how i did. Hopefully, something sactisfactory. Yeah. Something off my chest.
If you're wondering why no picture is because I'm blogging through phone cause little brother using my laptop.
been so long since i posted anything. I can't think much now. Hee.
anyway, siape2 ade lobang kerje, please, offer shasha. I need cash doh. Hee.
kay bye. Can't wait for red camp :) bye!

last kopek update

2009-10-18T00:37:00.005+08:00

I'll look like this till 12 Nov 2009.

FAKE!!!!!!

last lap dok. chiong ah.
i might be changing number some time around this month or starting next month.
if mum still allows it, cause apparently, my pocket is empty.
and mum has been cutting my allowance since, forever.

and lastly,

I GRADUATED FROM JUYING SECONDARY ALREADY (!!!)
woohoo.
finally or what?
tapi sch sengket. grad. ceremony je kau mampu?
nyesal betul doh masuk nih "blue place"
-.-"

olevel eh!

2009-09-28T23:50:00.005+08:00

NO TIME, NO TIME!
school ended, but mock exams till i graduate on the 16th.
O M G !
ish, soram sumpah. not looking forward at all.

improve chem [unbelievable] + down grade physic [booo!] = still, pass comb. sci (!!!)
alhamdullilah. aim higher jom! CMI CMI!
geog improving + ss yg tak cukup evidence = still, JUST pass D:
bio, pass paper 1, paper 2, tatau lagi.
eng, pass, c5 dok! hahaha. 1st time thou.
math, CTMI, but trying to chiong ah. no choice babe.
amaths? 1/100 CTMI gile babi. gi mamps. sumpah.
malay, okay2 baby ah.
so, nak kene belajar dok.

L1R4 = 26
mau gi mane shasha gini? walau. serious sikit babe!
i nak 3 distinction, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
insya allah.
doakan yer.

okay bye! tak update lagi, mungkin.
blow by blow updates only maybe on tweet? entah.

coming sat, 5 months ready! wooooooooooo~ baik or what?
sun, 3E'08 and 4E'09 , jum keluar raya? nak3?
last year babe? keluar jum.
pape msg saye sebab saye terlalu rajin *wink.
haha. macam pah.
check2 aku yg takleh gi D:

okay bye!

ps: my mum asked to go jc, ishhhhhhhh. susah babe.
i don't wish to struggle for first 6 months. confirm give up.
heeeee. go with the flow. but flow mesti good mood eh.

kay tdo now. ya right -.-

aku sayang raimy!
kay bye.

:'( x 1 000 000 000 000

2009-09-24T00:08:00.007+08:00

this boy is mine, mine alone. alone, bare that in mind. no explanation needed to why your relationship with him ended after six months previously, because the fact is - its already history. i'm not jealous, not angry at all that you miss him, but move on lah people. tak perlu kau nak feature matair aku first dalam friends list kau. funny joke eh? kawan baik kau second, matair aku first. panas~

and there's no point 'kacip'-ing matair orang kay, minah. kau fikir kau mane peh pretty woman eh. dah puji sikit2 okay ah. sigh3. gembire tak terhingge eh kau? beruntung eh dia 'owner' kau? pui ah sial. nbcb. senyum gi straightkan betul dulu sebelum kau nak gi tackle matair org. zaman lambat nak fene, nak rampas2. dah takde name lagi dah, look down on lagi ade. ade aku fikir kau dlu mane peh bagus, turn out - busuk punya olang eh.

sigh3. turning five months in about one week plus now and all we do everyday is argue. i appreciate that you tell me, that's why i'm not at all angry about you ex. i got over the minah, lagipun, dia small je, word 'setia' at matair sendiri belum wujud dalam hidup dia lagi, tapi when yo told me you're going offline on me just for chatting with someone else to clear my doubt - that was my last strand. all the feelings jumble up, feeling so down, piercing pain in my heart. how do you feel when i do such thing towards you? i need you so much to stay strong, but this had to happen.

i still love you. and mind you, i ain't leaving your ex boyfriend, cause i love him so much. so so much.

yes, i'm dependent on you, but i don't only socialise with you alone. i have other people to talk to, and they are called friends. i just need clarification since you yourself can't give me the answer i wanted. no harm asking others. we were out of topic anw. nvm. forget it baby.

jealousy is my weakest point, that's why i'm proud of my ego-ness cause it keeps me strong, get me?

boleh eh kau tdo? _|_

2009-09-23T03:00:00.003+08:00

my biggest problem. how the hell do i control myself?
always the cause of quarreling.

anw, it isn't too late to wish,
selamat hari raya!
semoga salah silap shasha, korang maafkan, makan minum shasha, korang halalkan. entah ade lagi ramadhan akan datang eh? hmm.

ps: ade yg msg tak reply tu, sorry. ego kuat babe. forget boleh, ~~forgive susah~~.
bye!

psps: don't act! the sight of you people only brings anger in me. tak suke tak suke tak suke!
tak suke jugak?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYAH!
best pe b'day raye. semoga ayah dipanjangkan umur,
dimurahkan rezeki. dah old, jage diri, ubat takmu lupe.
kakak sorry kalau kurang ajar,
kakak sayang ayah tahap maksima!
takde ayah boleh replace yang ini!
ish, nak cry.

BYE! last paper later, kalaulah paper nih semua olevel, happy dah abis.
1 month berape days left, omg.

history

2009-09-16T17:30:00.004+08:00

alright, i better get my as* in the toilet before i'm late again.
i freaking overslept yesterday, sorry kin.
goodbye!

*study time = YAWN (!!!)
chemistry paper tomorrow, best of luck nat.
you'll need it. chem sux. phy rox.

do you want to go for an operation?

2009-09-10T03:18:00.007+08:00

t'chers' day performance (!!!)

People, find me on twitter! Yeah, why twitter? No karma. So karma takleh turun naik. But once O's over, I might be back on plurk. Let see how thing goes. Its late but I can't get myself to bed. Maybe after sahur. Sigh3. I've been thinking too much.

:'(

Don't worry, it is just a sad face, I'm not crying. I have to be strong. Its just something that can still be managed.

I've been sleeping late and baby will confirm-plus-chop merajuk/marah/binget semualah, when he knows I'm still blogging. I'm just glad he is asleep after days of having difficulties. Omg. *wipe tears*

After biology extra class yesterday, I got a text message from baby to accompany him to polyclinic. He didn't sit for his paper and I was sooooo worried [still am] if the MC couldn't cover. Can cannot ah? ish. So yeah. Bus-ed there, and Fee saw aku terantuk kepale pat ceiling bus tu. hahaha. Ass sia.

Anw, so wait for him to siap, and he look really sick. Bus-sed to poly and thankfully, not much people. I thought takleh follow, you know H1N1 precaution and stuff, then the person in-charged approached me,

him : Mam [siak mam siol, baru 16!], would you like to follow?
me : [dengan selamber] oh! can follow ah?
him : can3. but wait, you also have to put on the mask.

so, now you can go imagine how baby and I look with the mask on. Funny thing, baby tatau pakai mask. haha.

Going in with him to have his check wasn't the best idea. I almost teared, but I'm strong. [ya, konon ah] I just feel so weak upon hearing the doctor's recommendation. Jantung gue fall to the floor babe. Takleh angs. I thought, maybe it isn't so bad. After collecting his MC and lotsssss of medication, we obviously threw the mask out and I took a look at his throat :'(

Alhamdullilah, his high fever has already subside. Dah tak panas. But he keep wanting to vomit now. Idk. I wish I could help, but I'm as helpless as he is. I just pray and hope the medication will help. I can't imagine if I where to be by the hospital bed with him. Taknak!

Kau, boleh menangis siol. Serious shit uh. I know, baby say I've been saying lots of vulgar word nowadays, sigh3. Takleh take it up.

Hmm. Then, baby tried to cheer me up. Wait for the bus, but lambs sangat, called his granddad and we waited outside for them. Mamas pun sick D: blue-black pat perut [?] dia. So sad sia. Then cabbed back to baby's place. Chillax sekejap before he send me home.

Sampai rumah, too tired to be sad. I stayed up the whole night the night before to teman baby. Malangnye he's to weak to sit for his papers. Sigh3. If only there was a way to prevent all this. If only I was more caring, more aware of things. tsk.

Was suppose to meet bie and break fast with him before meeting Shiykin for normal night study routine, but I was too tired, plus, Ibu dah masak banyak. So, buke @ home, wait for baby to come over before heading PM together. He had his haircut and joined me and Shiykin. First time woi he want to sit with me + a friend. So sweet right? :B

Took off at ten because non of us can absorb anything anymore. Baby has entered his lalaland since hours ago. I'm just glad once again.

I just want him to get well soon asap as for now. Nothing more. No. I want my baby to be able to have his fun life again. No more problems, can? Mula2, people can't accept both of us being together. Then, kawan makan kawan. Tu part, wah, gunung berapi erupt kay. Now dorang dah okay, I still cannot accept it. Sekarang, sakit. Sigh. I rather be the one sick. Not him. So weird he sakit, terus teruk. Wah3. Sigh.

I want baby to be fit and healthy again, and to be able to sit for his english papers. Tolong lah. ish. Sorry, shasha dah emotional gile sekarang. Crap lah.

I better go now :'(

ps: takmu marah2 tau pasal nih post. i just couldn't help it. i'm just so worried, plus scared, plus sad, plus paranoid for now. siape tak kan?

psps: i'm damn proud of you. seriously. you prove me that you're willing to chance for me. i'm going to remember the social studies incident for a long period of time. i'm so proud. i seriously am.

I NAK YOU BAIK!

:'(

ugh. Shasha, you cannot cry lah! Nak Rai mengamuk eh?
Sorry D: I'm going to be strong, I have to, I must.
I love you sooooo much.

raimyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

2009-09-06T01:37:00.002+08:00

This is my boyfriend.
I was trying to make him laugh because he was so sad he didn't get to meet me.

This is my boyfriend.
He is pouting out of boredom? Aku pun kurang pasti.
haha. Tetap, ingat tau,
shasha sayang raimy!

Nih part babyboy saya dah okay.
Dia show off dimple dia yang saya sangat cemburukan.
ish.

Cute right? *meltz

Anw, we already turn 4 months old.
Shasha: nah. bukak.
Raimy: buat pe?
Shasha: bukak je.
Raimy: (*unzipped my pencilcase) ade ape? pen je pe.
Shasha: -.- cari2 lah. sane2 sikit.
Raimy: Ade ape? (*found the card)

Shasha: bie, taknak bace sekarang. Balik baru bace.
Raimy: taknak. i nak bace sekarang pulak?

And the next thing you know, we both hugged and cried like nobody's business. We have been quarreling a lot. But nothing changed. I still love him the same. A LOT. I'm sorry if my time is limited. I'm sorry if i couldn't spend time with you. I'm sorry.

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!

okay bye, actually still webcamming with him. Asked him to wait cause I wanted to post. hehe. Sayang kau lah!

ps: sorry if i didn't go online past weeks, my laptop crashed. and i just got it repaired. all the pics and songs dlted. sad or what?

so after o's & n's we take many3 pic kay ppl?
kay nanti bie marah. bye!

one word :

2009-08-19T16:37:00.008+08:00

DEMORALISED.

should i, should i not?

2009-08-14T16:43:00.002+08:00

I want to go out! To meet Boyfriend first before having my normal night study @ mac but I can't leave home until this contractor leaves the house. ugh! Boyfriend is already waiting for me since hours ago, but I can't. No one is at home except me and this contactor. Siape nak gi tinggalkan rumah sorang dengan stranger kan? Nih uh. Okaylah. Good thing that mum and dad decided to renovate parts of the house, especially the toilet and tong sampah since both - the doors are falling apart. Ugh. Nevermind. I might as well bath first, pack my bags and leave the house asap. Not in a pretty good terms with bie. Sigh.

Okay dia dah pack2 nak balik. Yessa. Bye!

i live life not to please people.

2009-08-10T09:53:00.002+08:00

mood : bad, down, all those -ve feelings.

currently: waiting for marzie to text me.

short update to venge my feelings out before i meet marzie.

have you even felt like your group of friends is stabbing you from the back? have you ever felt like as if they don't treasure you no more? they don't need you anymore?

if you have, i know how it feel. if you are currently feeling that way, we're in the same boat. if you haven't, well, lucky bitch cause i believe everyone will feel this way before. suckish much. i thought you people were the best example for "true friendship", sesungguhnye shasha salah.

i personally believe, if you dislike how i behave, if i have done any bloody ig mistake, tell me off personally. lets talk logic. kalau korg nak simpan2, simpan sampai mati per? i don't care. it shink, it shink ah. i rather know i've done a mistake, than people purposely bring my name down. dapat ape busuk2 kan name org? fun? i won't be in piece until i know what's wrong, who the hell buat mulut.

if you people dislike me following, tell me straight, okay iskandar? kalau kau lupe aku, fine. aku kan transparent tuk kau kan? atleast aku tak suke perangai kau, aku tell kau upfront in person. aku tak suke, aku bilang kau tuk berubah. sesungguhnye itu semua buang mase aku. sebab sekarang kau nak jauhkan diri dari aku kan? okay. sembarang.

[i'll edit once i reach home. i'm tearing apart. so much for jiwe-ness lah people. i gtg, marzie went out of house already. ps.]

outing

2009-08-09T01:54:00.005+08:00

How ironic, I thought Boyfriend will freak out when he knew I blogged, but he asked me to update today. If I didn't get him wrong ah. Well, I'm taking a break. Ceh. Break ke babaian. tsk. Bad habit. Sleeping so late at night. Oh yeah, anyway, HAPPY 44TH B'DAY SINGAPORE. yaiks. My mum older >.<

My eyes look teary in this picture, but in actual fact, its just red-eye thing. Sesungguhnye aku tak kuase nak gi edit. Internet seems boring to me. I only online to check email that never stop to flow in. Check my acct, play Sorority Life [that is sumpah merepek tapi addictive sebab nak level up] on Facebook. My SL acct on Tagged dah tak pandang. Bab FB nye lagi cool. haha.

Yesterday was fun ^^. I swear. I went swimming with all those in the picture. Sesungguhnye aku rase ini pertame kali kite keluar 5 org. Pathetic much. haha. Macam biase, JM [Janji Melayu, bukan MJ], kite jumpe lambat.

Me : Jumpe pat Jp kul 2.30 tau, bukan keluar rumah 2.30.

Hah! Aku keluar rumah 2.31. Hebat. And yesterday, I was caught red-handed by mum. Walau. Sway kay. sigh. So, keluar rumah, jumpe Marzie. Then tunggu yang lain. Bus to JE satu jam kemudian.

Sampai je, change and swimming lah, tu our purpose mah. haha. I had whole lot of fun walaupun sekejap. Nak kate puas, tak sangat. Tapi takpe. Marzie learned how to swim breast-stroke [what I call it] or frog-style [what the rest call it]. Pelit - org makin keratas, dekni makin kebawak -.-] Then kite tau Shiykin's biggest fear. Sorry kay kalau kau feel left out, tapi cute lah kau.

Pernah dengar org sendawe sekuat2 hati dalam air? *grin* Marzie brought along her goggles and we took turn to look at each other's expression underwater doing the "Nobody" dance. Freaking ass funny. I wish I saw myself seh, sebab semua kate my face priceless. hahaha.

A lot of "injuries" happen I tell you. Each of us got our butt kicked [I think]. haha. I got my nose siku-ed. Shiykin got left by us. Kesian. haha. Aku tak sampai hati, ade lah sekali dua aku tunggu dia. haha.

Afterall those merepek meraban, salin balik. Abih aku kene kacau ngan minah yang fikir aku budak kecil -.- aku tau aku nampak mude *grin* takpe. Shasha chillax. Kau nak stare aku atas bawah sebab aku lagi mulia dari kau, by all means. Ceh. Perasan. Tapi serious ah, ppn tu lawa - dari jauh. HAH!

Then makan2, aku last. Sedih. Mane tak bie selalu mengamuk. kuang3. Then balik, satu2 muke penat. Fee lagi gi Queensway. I meet Boyfriend and all I did was sleep on his shoulder/lap. Takleh angkat. Mate berat je.

Balik terus takleh tdo. Fought with Boyfriend. Today's plan was actually to go gym with Marzie and Shiykin. Confident. Check2 takleh bangun. Pospone, but I cannot make it. Found out cancel. Heng. Means next time I can follow. heh. Never go gym before leh. Nak cube.

So, in the afternoon, bath and change. Meet Boyfriend at his place. Once I saw him, my vision starts to blur. I broke down a little. Nak dikatekan, today, I broke down on and off. I spoiled his day, I'm sorry :'C

Bought what I needed already for later. Not sure who I'm going out with yet. I mean, Idk if my family going out. If not, obviously I'm going out with Boyfriend.

I love mohammed raimy.

If I'm going out with him later, I need to "pakai lawa2 au." Why? "Suke sangat2." haha. Cute an? Nih pat, aku ade sikit malas nak dress up. Plus my loop earings hilang. Sumpah sad. My fav. earings kay. Idk where I put. "Bilik you kalahkan bilik bujang, mane nak jumpe?" Wei! My room not that messy kay. Try having a room that you DON'T sleep in, you won't bother about what's on your bed. Well, my little's bother bed atleast. hah! Plus I don't have shoes. sigh -.- Cause I hardly go out, so bile keluar, selalu lupe beli kasut. Tak kuase, beli baju lagi best. Slipa ade, haha. Tapi tak cool. Speaking of which, when you pronounce, you pronounce as "slipa" or "slipe"? "Tuala" or "tuale"? Me and Shiykin was "debating" about this yesterday, okay no, two days ago.

I got nothing else in mind. I need to do some shopping, hair cutting [since ages ago] and a lottttttttttttttt of studying to do.

I'm seriously bored kay people. Tunggu long2 for my next post. A month or two? Ceh. Entahlah. Just tag lah deh. heh :D

do read minahspeak@lj - hillarious.

adios.

Problemo, problemo. I need Mohammed Raimy, now.

2009-08-02T05:53:00.006+08:00

Look at the time. It's six in the morning and I haven't sleep. I know Boyfriend ain't going to be happy about this. sigh. I just miss him. I'm a cry baby nowadays. Lets have a little tiny weeny update. Yah, I know. Boyfriend's going to freak out. I'm not suppose to update. I suppose to refrain from laptop and blogging obviously, but where else can I write this out, right?

Firstly, I'm not in talking terms with Ibu. Yeah. Suck much. Two night straight, I've been locking myself in my room and weeping like baby. I don't like it. But I cannot tahan. I'm very sensitive. ugh.
Secondly, I'm having my period and it sucks. Why? I've count the date I'm having my period next month, and it's a week after fasting month start, if I'm not wrong. Spoil mood berpuase je -.- And I'm forever mood swing. One second joking, the other second takleh kene sikit. And today je, idk how many times kene marah. :'c
Thirdly, my watch - it is tearing apart, literally.
Forthly, I'm still sleeping on the floor in the living room because my parents haven't buy new kipas.
I'm going to paint my room purple!
Been skipping night study but going to Mac to study instead.
Productive and I always look forward to see E. LOL all the way kay.
blaablaablaa. tatau ape lagi.
Tomorrow is the Third of August.
Three months, three months, three months!

Okaylah. Random. I screw SPE1 like shit.

First time pass English since 2009!
My Phys drop by few marks, and my Chems forever single digit = fail comb. sci.
JUST pass comb. human. [Thanks to 26/50 geog, i got into Ms Nurul ss class, I got only 25/50 for ss fyi. Cun2 51/100 to get into Ms Nurul class I tell you.]
E&Amaths = FAIL!
Pure bio, I improved a lot kay, but still have yet to pass.

And in a week time, MALAY O'LEVEL RESULT WILL BE OUT. A please, please3. *fingers-cross*

Sigh. I want A badly. But idk can cannot. DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD: My parents NOT RICH, so idk if I get B, would they allow me to retake. Aiya. I wish I was born Jimmy Neutron ah. Bijaksane nak mamps. So much for short post. Bye!

I want cut hair, but I don't want to talk to my mother! She even left money for me yesterday, I never take. I refuse to eat and leave my room. I refuse to help her. She bought donuts, cakes, and pizza [all my fav. and she knows I love bakeries] from Malaysia for me, TAK SENTUH. I only eat Burger Ramly cause cannot tahan tooooooo hungry already. Never eat since yesterday night. Idk what else she got me cause I don't want to talk to her. I left home without tell her today but I told Ayah. I refuse to unlock my door even when she talk nicely tetibe. I don't want to look into her eyes cause I'll start tearing. When I listen to her voice, I cry because I miss talking to her but I still refuse. Why? Because she screamed and shout at me right in my face in my room, and I didn't dare to fight back and stand for my right because later ... "melawan!" blaa3. And all the unwanted things will be said. I don't want to fight with her, but I don't want to talk to her because she pulled my hair. She treat me like her, girl, literally. Ibu, I'm growing up. I need my space, I need your trust. You've gone true this, you told me, why can't you be more like Ayah? So chillax, so accepting. Chill je. Sigh. Senang lain kali ambil pisau belah2 je kalau sakit hati sangat kay? Senang gitu. :'((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Wait long2 for my next post. I want go cry now. Bye.

aku takut gila dengan O's

2009-07-15T23:08:00.004+08:00

This would be my last entry. Hopefully. I won't touch my laptop anymore, unless it is really urgent like something to do with homework and research. Otherwise, I'll let all my account like tagged, fs and any other thing in Boyfriend's hand. So, he'll be checking and accepting any comments/requests and stuff. I don't want to get any more distracted. I need my 1000% on studies. I'm left with less than a three month. Yes, that short! I'm picking up my pace, and anything that can distract me is no good. No. So,

I'm Going On A Hiatus - Away From Laptop.

Anyway, before that, enjoi this scenarios.

first scenario @ living room, after coming back from school.

Me : ayah, beli kipas lah.
Dad : ayah pergi kedai, tapi out of stock.
Me : -.- iyerla tu. then beli aircon uh. kpas takde, aircon ade. [*masuk toilet, tak dengar ayah kate ape.]
Mum : ayah kau pandai. dia kate pakai satu kipas je bagus. save electricity = save duit.
Me : -.- kedekut pe?

second scenerio @ living room, going to "bed". the fan kan, swi2 kene aku, beh abg gi tolak. aku melenting uh.

Me : bodoh sia. ade bilik, ade katil, ade kipas lagi, taknak tdo dalam -_________-"
[*abg walk to his room, switch on the tv and act as if tak dengar pape.]

Today, dia tdo luar lagi. Pure stupidity. ceh. Kurang ajar eh. No lah. Still, very bengs sia.

---

For family,
I'm sorry if I disappoint you with my decision of not going to Jc. I won't make it. But I'm trying to improve. Hopefully, it isn't too late. Sigh. I know I'm the only girl, blaa3, and both ibu ayah hoping a lot on me, I'm trying, but if I fail, I'm sorry. Sigh. I just have the feeling I'm going to suck at this. (*cry) I need the strength man. Shittos. Crying already. haha. And fighting with biol is not helping. Sumpah.

For Boyfriend,
Please3, push me like hell to study. I'm proud that you're changing, and I want to you to be proud of me too. I don't want to fail, no. You know how much this means to me, so please push me on my studies. I need the strive to do things the right way. I'm glad you've been more supportive than I thought you would. I'm sorry if my time is mostly spend in school till night, and I'm happy/overjoy/[*out of words] that you've been sending and picking me up from school just to spend a teeny weeny time with me. Lets make each other proud and prove people wrong, jom ^.^ I love you.

Okay, miss me people!

O'level O'level O'level
O'level O'level O'level
O'level O'level O'level

i dislike my brother.

2009-07-11T19:02:00.004+08:00

Little brother is back with my KFC and strawberry milk tea.
Time to eat my early dinner, eat medicine and then i'm going to apply DPA.
insya allah if nothing goes wrong. No more procrastinating.
Suppose to meet Boyfriend today but I'm sick and Mum disallow me from leaving home and asked me to rest at home. But I got to chat with him just now and yeah, okaylah tu kan.
Gonna eat while my meal is still hot yeah. Sorry, bahase niari pecah seribu macam abg aku nye matair. Might update about that later after I've done what I need to do later. Goodbye.

Monday Malay O'level Oral (*bite nail)

---

Edit @ 09:54pm:

I've submitted my application, *finger cross* I have a feeling I won't get through because my application has no "wow-factor" that can make me feel as if I have the chance but just like fee said, trying my luck. Just in case, I would just prepare the next necessary things. I'm still rather blur and sotong about this thing, so friends, do guide me along yeah. Marzie and Fee has been a great help so far.

I was writing a draft tau tadi, on a paper, then transfer on blogger [for spell check], then I copy paste lah on the application. Before that, aku nervous gile macam lah application tu verbally. Bengap an? Haiya. Kalau gini, Monday oral mati eh. haha. Hopefully, topic ain't that hard, but we predict, it would be hard. Seram. Insya allah nothing goes wrong. Pray hard. I would definitely go crazy kanchong, scared wtv lah like Malay written paper. Sampai peluh2. sigh. I hate major examinations!

Anyway, about the damn war with my eldest brother. [before that, warning, nih setakat nak venge out anger, kalau ade comment, diam.] It's totally ridiculous. It started when he saw Boyfriend sending me home from my study-outside routine two days back. Dah bagus sia dia antar aku balik dari aku balik sorang. Bodoh. tsk. *marah nih*

He was me and Boyfriend pat lift there. So, obviously I laugh lah. Tak sangkekan. And obviously, kite tak naik sesame. I realised dia tak stop pat tingkat empat. But tingkat atas sekali.

I say : Maybe dia nak tenguk mane kite turun tak?
Both say : Jom naik lift lagi satu.

So, he wanted to play hide-and-seek kan? We just join in ah. From there, I know our relationship will go back to our normal fight sini sane type. Idc. Beh kite waste time, and then when I reached home, Ibu asked if I saw brother and who send me home. I answered the first question, only. Dah tu, I stay in my room walaupun panas to cool the situation lah kononnye. Gi dapur, gedebak-gedebuk, beh baring pat sofa.

Everything seems fine to me, sebab they [ibu ayah] asked me any further question. Anyway, it isn't surprising at all. Ibu and ayah knows I'm in a relationship and well, we're not hugging or what kan, bodoh sia. haha. Sebab the other day, gi Jp ngan sedare2, abg ade dengan matair dia, pecah. So I don't like because his reaction tak perlu. My cousin all salam dia, except me. Ape aku buat?

Stare pat matair dia, stare pat dia, kasi muke cb, jalan pusing. Kiwak. Siape mau gi layan siol. Dengan pakaian tak perlu. Beh dah tu takpe, pecah kay, summaries ah kay. I thought he have a better taste ah. I thought he like those quiet type, nih tak. Beh that day we saw him, the day before dia balik lambat gile. Sedangkan b'day dia he told me to balik siang. Ape nih?!

Okay fine. Back from all those sidetrack ah kay. After ibu ngan ayah masuk tdo, I realise brother wasn't at home. Hebat eh? Okay fine. I'm a girl, so I don't bother ask for permission to go out at night, cause I know its unnecessary. Even if I can, I won't. Tak manis betul? So, malam2 gitu, siape lagi dia nak jumpe, correct?

Aku heck care. Dia balik, dia makan. I was at the living room. Surveying poly on internet. Dia ngan tv sekuat2 hati, lampu on semua. Aku diam kan dah good enough tau. Switch off the laptop, and read before I go to sleep.

Ingat tau, I was READING. Reading kay. Then dia dah abis makan, and he bloody knows I was reading, dia gi off lampu. wth?! tak ke macam, ugh! kay uh. Since he want to play this damn "game" aku go along ah. Step tak kesah, I turn and use the tv light to read. Cb. Then ibu marah, bab tv kuat sangat, and asked me to switch it off, abeh i was like "abang lah tenguk tv". Ibu keluar, nih @$%^&* act tdo. Nb. Aku kene marah dengan ibu. Now, tell me, salah pe aku marah pat dia? Kay uh. Aku diamkan lagi.

Aku buat dek je. Bace buku je. Ibu marah lagi, then dia bangun, langkah aku nye kaki, tutup tv, masuk bilik, macam aku tak kesah gitu! F.U.B sia. Aku go along. Binget.

So, I switch on the light. Dia nak tdo pe. Bukak lampu ah. hah! Dah tu ibu tanye what I was doing through msg, I said I was studying. I really was, but my actual reason was to give him hard time to sleep. On lampu sampai kul dua.

Dah tu off, aku gi tdo.

Beh semalam same. Dia ngan dia peh muke, aku ngan aku peh muke ah. Fair pe. Dulu boleh ah aku masih kecil dia nak pukul aku, sepak aku, tolak aku sampai aku jatuh, lembar pinggan pat aku, maki aku up down ah, sekarang? He can't. Cause kalau dia nak lawan bbl, confirm chop dia kalah.

Dah tu, I asked laptop from little brother, bab nak survey/apply DPA. But he took his own sweet time sampai aku tertdo. Sekali bie called, nbcb. Hp dari sebelah aku, gi mane tau? Sebelah dia, atas meja. So, answer the phone. Dah tu, check uh hp, dia tak buat pape. I was mad, sudah pasti. Intruding privacy sia. Dia fikir dia siape nak check hp aku? haha. Tapi aku tak kesah kalau dia check msg, why? Aku binget dengan dia, bilang bie ah. No surprise, vulgarities semua ade. Yaya, dia abang aku. But hey, tak fair sia.

Since I was a little baby, [he was already seven, P1 kay, dia dah boleh think], he dislike me. Why? Because I was a girl. Yes. Because I was a girl. When I look at my baby picture, he was always frowning when I was in my parents arm. Kiwak, ape sia. Hine pe aku nih? The picture taken when I first walked, abang gg was by my side, smiling, and abang was behind [duh], frowning [duh again]. Ape sia. tsk.

Then as this when I was in Sec one/two, can't remember, he sepak until my telinge tak boleh dengar the one whole day, and push me sampai kaki luke, in front of my friend sebab tak balik terus dari sekolah? Perlu ke nih semua? It wasn't late at all ah. He always alight pat bus stop depan sekolah, just to see if I was loitering, at his own will. Gerek eh? Fun kan? hmm. cb.

Then, last year and this year, things started to cool off ah. Because afterall, dia masih abang aku. So i still respect him. Abeh he start working. So we hardly see each other. Nampak pun, dah tak kuase nak fight. Dia pun kalau boleh mane ibu ayah nak pergi, dia nak ikut. Dan mane ibu ayah pergi, confirm bawak aku. So, no choice loh.

It isn't like as if I hate him, I just dislike how he treat me unfairly. Grow up lah. Every single mistake aku buat, dia nak besar2 kan sia. Kalau ade chance dia nak maki aku, nak eje sia dia. Mentang2 ayah tuari lecture dia pasal him and his two days known gf -.- ahaha. And I think ah, he was hoping I got the same long and loud lecture, but neh, sorry to disappoint you aites. Baru dua hari dah macam paham, macam kenal gitu lame gitu, rai and myself dah dua bulan, kenal almost half a year, takde tu macam sia. No, he didn't do anything lah -.- He hugged his gf if front of my family. And lagi dia boleh cakap "tak salah per" bengs sia.

Aku bukan nak buruk2kan name dia, but serious shit ah, merepek siak dekni. Takpe, dia nak main nih game. Aku go along. Kite tenguk siape bbl ngan siape dulu. Dah tadi I made him wait for 5 min pat luar rumah bab dia takde kunci rumah. haha. I had fun laughing at him. Cb.

Full of anger. GND.

Anw,

HAPPY 21TH B'LATED B'DAY
ABANG GG (10/07)
kakak sayang ah-gg.
when you get your bike (very soon now), bring me around yeah!

- "nasib aku dapat matair macam kau. "

2009-07-05T02:03:00.006+08:00

miss me? doubt so. i wonder who even bother to read my blog. so dull and boring. well, who cares. it wasn't my purpose anyway to have a blog, to have readers. just a place to rank i guess. there's only one thing in my mind in this hour, FOOD!

damn it. freaking hungry okay since i came back. tak boleh take it. but lazy to cook. tsk. and i have headache out of the blue. and it's hurting real bad. getting worst ah. tsk. bodoh siak nih kepale eh. takde time2 lain nak sakit. haha.

sorry if i've been mia-ing. well, it's prelim one now. and my routine this days are really simple yet time consuming and brain-cell killing -___________-"

go to sch take whatever paper i have > go home straight > eat and rest > get up at four > meet bie > study > back by curfew > nap/sleep > wake up in the morning and study > 30 min nap > bath > back to square one.

yes. how grateful can i be. bie accompany me studying this whole week. thank you so much. i can't stay home and study because i get easily distracted with books [storybook -.-], tv and laptop. so i need to get away to study. he has been really "pushy" in a way when i'm studying. haha. that's good actually. whenever i come to a point when i get sick and tired of studying and start complaining that i'm sleepy, tired what ever shit, he'll go "takde3. belajar dulu." or something like that. just get the idea dah boleh dah kan. haha.

not only that. after coming back for studying with him [well, i do the studying at least], he'll stay up to make sure i wake up to study in the morning. my one and only working alarm clock. hahahah. he'll call again and again to make sure i'm awake cause i tend to continue sleeping, all the time. haha. and then he'll accompany me through messaging. how sweet can he be? omg. thank you for sacrificing your sleep for me, sleepyhead.

anyway, two days back was our second month together. yeah, no big deal. baru dua bulan kan? fyi, we almost break-up. but we didn't. i was the cause to all of it. i'm sorry, sincerely from deep down okay baby D:

[i put this picture up, sebab bie suke nih gambar, why? kerek uh nampak dimple. aku pun ade okay. kecil je, cute je, macam aku, hahaha. pat dagu -.- ]

anw, baby brought me out today, no yesterday. our actual plan was to watch movie @ causeway, but i don't like. sorry kay sayang. cerite peh merepek -.- so, we ate at banquet and walk around. i was surveying wallet. then he wanted to eat ice-cream pulak. gi beli mac ice-cream. wah, ade ice-cream baru. hahaha.

dah tu dia nak berasap. okaylah tu -.- tengah makan2 ice-cream, aku yg lembab makan, ice-cream dah mula cair. macam siak. so, he ate, and he when "eeeeeee" bile dapat tau, ice-cream chocolate dia bawa rase raspberry -.- so i was like "check2, i nye bawah rase chocolate eh". mkpl. betul lah seh. ade aku makan raspberry bawah2 chocolate, dia makan chocolate, bawah2, raspberry. bodoh per -.- dah tu kite gi lot one. haha. merepek uh. jalan2 je. dah tu nampak org pakai baju same macam aku. tak cool kay. sumpah. tak cool langsung sia. -_______-" then, gi imm. hahaha. takde arah tujuan. jalan2, joke2. dah tu naik 99 balik. tu lah pat merepek start.

- sikit hari kite ade semut2 tau. beh kite tatau nak cakap ape pat cikgu beh i ngan khai cakap pat cikgu gini, "cher, we got ants-ants uh."

fuck sia this guy. hahaha. fake. he got me laughing like hell on the bus -.- bukan tu je, ade pasal bende lain. tak ingat. didn't alight around my area, but kite buat "u-turn". then walk all to nbp. takde org pulak -.- so we slack under the void-deck near my place. kite bbl pasal rumah lah, lesen kerete lah, ape lah. and we sang whatever song that came to mind. ader aku nganyi lagu dum ba caleh? tatau spell uh. hindustan taknak kalah. hahaha. cb. kelakar. beh nih belo gi nyanyi sekuat2 hati -.- kite ambil gambar2 merepek, beh delete. merepek eh. dah tu balik part kelakar. tapi takpe.

- selalu hari kau an. niari hari aku ah. sekali sekale je pe.

and i didn't want to let him go after he send me home. sodih siol. hahaha. idkw. but i had so much fun with him walaupun takde arah tujuan that i didn't want it to end. he seems to like whenever i keep going back to him and hug him tight. suke eh kau? hahaha. "suke ah". confirm. haha.

babyboy,
two months straight, you were the one who text me first for our monthsary. you're the first one to text me on my b'day too -.- haha. well, that was random. but i really appreciate it. i'm sorry if i've been such an ass to you all this while. i'm sorry. when you tell me it's worth to cry for me, i feel really bad. time and time again, i put you to tears. i've been a bad girlfriend, but you told me you don't care cause all you want was my love and care for you. i'm sorry if my love and care for you wasn't enough, or wasn't as much as yours, but i'm trying to improve. i'm sorry if the thought of breaking-up even came up, i know i've hurt you, but i'm not giving up any time soon. i cannot imagine how empty life would be if i let you go. no joke, no one i could share things openly, no one to layan my damn lame random behavior, no one to tell me i'm the only one in his eyes, to tell me i mean a whole lot to him. no one to tell me he's worrying if i'm having headache [-.-], no one to tell me i eat so slow, no one to drag me across the road, no one to tell me my cheek is irresistible, hahahaha. all this small little thing is significant to me.

after our recent fight, now i know how much you treasure me. how much i mean to you. how much you love me. i'm sorry to doubt your love before, but not anymore. i love you very much, and i'm not going to give up in trying. i love you, mohammed raimy.

bie, kau tau aku sayang kau deep down kan?

2009-06-27T01:20:00.004+08:00

Eh, sudahlah. Hahahah. Semuanye takde. Ape kau ade? -.-
Aku ad kau!aku sentiase ade kau...i guess-.-haha...
Babi. Guess ah. Haha. Tsk. Alamak. Ceh. Semakin hari, semakin sweet eh dia. Haha.
Haha...biaserlar.tp kn...i takot ar sweet.nanti kene potong kaki.haha...
Hahaha. Kencing manis. Diabetes. Hahaha.
Haha...tu ar.tk takot ke kau?haha...
Tak. Aku takut flu babi. Haha.
Ouh...haha.babi...haha...eh takk sabar ar nk jumpe kau.haha...
Haha. Aku tau. Kau rindu aku kan3? Haha.
Kau step kau tk rindu aku jek.haha...
Haha. Tukar topik pulak. Eh, dah tau, diam2 uh. Takmu bilang2. Malulah saye.
-hahaha. bukan kencing manis lagi, sakit jantung sia. bbl ngan dekni makan hati kekadang. ahahah.

Hahaha. Memang tak. >.<>
Kalau kau ckp tk bleh.aku buno diri aku...
Kau sumpah merepek! Kau suke eh nak jage aku dengan hanye roh kau? Kau nak sangat eh menghantui aku. Hahaha. [inside joke]
Haha...lau bleh tknk ar.beh nak wat ape...tu jek care nye.bsk blehkan2?hee...
Eh, tu je carenye otak kau. Lagi kau bunuh diri, lagi tak dapat. Dasar belo -.-
Ah2 eh...haha.kay2...aku pujok kau smpai kau nk.hee...bleh lar-.-
>.<>
-yang part seterusnye, menyakitkan hati. sampai hati kau kate aku gitu bie. sesungguhnye aku kecewe dengan kau. hahaha. tapi betul ah.

Alah...main2 jek kn.sory lar...
B...aku maen2 jek kn.sorilar...kau nie-.-
Tau pun mintak maaf. Haha.
Mstilar tau...ape jek.haha...kau online?
Haha. Yep.
Kay2...nanti i online.syg u lar seh!haha...
Haha. Sayang u jugak.

five more days, but i'm NOT looking forward to it, because i'm having prelims (!)

random.

2009-06-26T23:05:00.009+08:00

muke not needed, but i like. idkw.

Add "I'm a /an" on your title, then add the rest of the answers on as you do the questions.

What colour / kind of socks are you wearing?
Red = loud
Green = stupid
None = freaky
Fuzzy = gorgeous
Yellow = innocent
Purple = a little too happy
Black = emo
Stripes = funny
Gray = skanky
Pink = preppy
Light blue = sweaty
Other = hot
White = sexy

What kind of pants are you wearing?
Shorts = cutie
Skirt = skank
Corduroy = faggot homosexual
Tight jeans = scene kid
Ripped jeans = emo
Cammo = cage fighter
Jeans = prep
Pajamas = pimp
Cargo = clown
Sweats = athlete
Boxers = brat
Booty shorts = female
Capris = Gangster
Nothing = hoe
Dickies = weirdo
Bikini bottoms = tiki girl
Other = sex addict

What is your natural hair color?
Auburn = that every one wants to make out with
Blonde = with a broken heart
Black = with a sexy smile
Dark brown = with a hot boyfriend / girlfriend
Red = that likes to have fun
Brown = who loves to be different
Dirty blonde = with a nice ass
Bald = with herpes

Pick the month you were born on.
1 = who ate
2 = who needed
3 = who killed
4 = who shot
5 = who killed
6 = who smoked with
7 = who banged
8 = who ran shirtless with
9 = who got stabbed horribly by
10 = who cuddled with
11 = who slept with
12 = who ran naked with

Pick the day you were born on.
01 = the kool-aid man
02 = a dog
03 = a shoe
04 = a toothbrush
05 = Santa Claus
06 = The Trojan man
07 = Barney the dinosaur
08 = a prostitute
09 = a porn star
10 = a bag of weed
11 = my lover
12 = a glass of milk
13 = a horse
14 = a lesbian
15 = a stripper
16 = a pickle
17 = a jew
18 = a homo
19 = an orange
20 = my mom
21 = a homeless girl
22 = a whore
23 = my crush
24 = an easter egg
25 = a jar of honey
26 = a condom
27 = a bowl of cereal
28 = a french fry
29 = your dealer
30 = Paris Hilton
31 = your grandma

Pick the color of the shirt you are wearing.
White = because I love marijuana
Black = because I'm sexy as hell
Pink = Because the lil people told me to
Blue = because I have amazing boobs
Red = because I'm a pimp and you're jealous
Polka Dots = because I hate my life
Purple = because I'm gay
Gray = because I got dared
Other = because that's how I roll
Green = because I'm good in bed
Orange = because I smoke crack
Turquoise = because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown = because I had to
Shirtless = because I've got abs

I am freaky cutie who loves to be different who shot your dealer because I'm gay.
HAHAAHAHA. kiwak. merepek sungguh.
found this on faezah's and shiykin's blog.
takde maksud, su-wear!

I'm back from watching Transformers with my cousins.
Awexome!
might be meeting bie tomorrow before or after i go study.
monday is already prelim 1 part 2,
i'm scared
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

and i almost lost my roxy wallet,
with my posbank card in it,
my ezlink,
20+bux plus baby's 8bux ,
pictures and receipts IN THE CINEMA
cause zyra was rushing me to accompany her to the toilet.
nasib adik aku mate tajam.
this is why my mum don't trust me to hold on to my own i/c.

alhamdullilah,
me and baby dah okay.
after more than one week for not meeting up and in bad terms,
we put it all aside, well, i did.
i need to try.
i really am greatful that you still do love me like sh*t [lol] after all this that i've put you through.
i'm sorry, really am.
i'll try not to put you in anymore greater pain if you promise to change.
kau tau aku sayang kau kan?
kau manis sekali.
i never cried because anyone is too sweet to me. i usually cry because i'm hurt.
dah uh. emotional sungguh >.<>

high school :B

2009-06-25T23:31:00.004+08:00

i'm bored and i feel like posting, but i won't post much but a quiz i found interesting. whats done this few days are mainly damage. been fighting with baby everyday and it sucks big time. anw, here goes nothing.

" high school "

1) Which school did you go to?
juying secondary

2) What classes were you in?
1E1, 2E1, 3E1, 4E1 :D

3) What was/were your favourite lesson(s)?
hahaha. recess. and PE.

4) If you could remember, what time was your recess?
1020 or 1040.

5) List down your favourite food/snacks.
laksa, mee goreng.

Style

1) Did you have a nickname way back in high school?
shasha or my 3E1 clan call me peanut -.-

2) How did you wear your socks?
atleast can see the JYIAN printed on it. well, i'm rather proud of my school you know. haha.

3) Have you been suspended due to the way you put on your uniform?
no. unnecessary.

4) Were you given plenty of reminders about your appearance?
only to clip up my fringe last year. haha.

5) Who did you look up to when you were in high school?
my teachers? o.0

Punishment

1) Name one memorable scene where you were punished in front of the whole class.
never?

2) How many times did you skip class? What were you doing?
non that i did without reasons or on purpose. good girl mah, ceh. actually i don't dare. :\

3) Give one scene where you escaped from being caught/punished.
o.0

4) Did you vandalize any school property?
table.

5) Did you ever make any teacher cry?
well, back in sec 2, hahaha, the whole class made mr bakar cried, and everyone ran to the canteen for early recess. that was the days. hillarious.

6) Who was your favourite teacher?
cikgu mas? she's my malay teacher for four years straight, teacher in-charge for malaydance, house mistress and ape lagi? o.0

7) Describe your Discipline Mater/Mistress
mr kelvin teo. my physics teacher. funny, fun, strict.

8) Who was the funniest/weirdest/loudest teacher?
Funniest – mr sarz i think. well, banyak cikgu kelakar jugak.
Weirdest – mrs choong.
Loudest – mr singh?

Social Circle

1) Were you popular back then?
my batch isn't that big. every knows each other.

2) Were you in a big group of boys/girls or small ones?
small, used to be four of us, until shiykin joined our class.
MANSS [but only consist of girls :B]
- Marzie, Aqilah, Natasha, Syafiqah and Shiykin.

3) Who were your best friends?
were? lol. my bestf. is md hafiz bin md abdoh. still is.

4) Did you and your friends have nicknames?
yes. khad was out BFG [big friendly giant, syafiqah was goldfish, marzie was monkey, i'm peanut -.- shiykin is our unta/camel, hafiz the bongok, hahaha, kam the p*p*k, hakim and kid? well, not sure.

5) What were your favourite memories of you and your friends?
all the outings we had of course.

Crushes/Lovers

1) Who was your first crush?
tatau.

2) Are you in good terms with your last crush?
no/yes. he's attach and i'm attach too now :B

3) Did you ever had a relationship with anyone in your high school?
yes. duh.

4) Have you ever made out in school?
o.0

Closing Ceremony

1) How did high school changed you?
from anti-social to too sociable, back to anti-social? haha.
well, dah serik ader big group of friends. one will start backstabbing each other.

2) Sing one verse of your school song.
together we will succeed.

3) What was your favourite question?
kau makan ape uh? [while queueing to buy food, actually tak uh. tatau uh.]

4) Who/what will you remember from your high school?
3E1 clan sudah pasti! and my tarian babes forever at heart.

5) Any memories you will not forget.
the performance, the occasions in sch and such.

okay dah. i'll post about sentosa when i have the mood. may will post, maybe not.

i want a chance.

2009-06-23T22:40:00.005+08:00

bleah~ i was blog hopping and come across a blog, and it bold and enlarge this specific sentence " Schools to re-open as scheduled despite H1N1 situation ". yep. for more details, here. idk to be happy or sad. well, happy because school is reopening. well, holiday seems to be boring. no life. but sad because i haven't study much for prelim. MATI! sumpah. i was really hoping for the extend of school holiday. gosh. this sucks cos this means prelim is still on. sigh. i swear, i'm not even prepared.

a leopard never ever will change it's spot does it? well. i loss hope on hoping some change in you. people are hoping for something to happen, well, i told myself, maybe not too soon. i don't want to. but without change, how can one move forward? i'm lossing it. i'm lossing my oldself and i miss it. i have pride and i want it to stay up high. don't expect it to change. no, never will. i'm not giving in anymore. if i'm able to split into two, well, i've done it long ago. f.u.b. lah. i feel like crying. seriously. idk who/which side to choose over. i can't possible please everyone. i love all of them. sigh. and then, there comes another problem - those who never give up on hoping/waiting. sigh. f.u.b. i want to be happy like i used to, no worries, no nothing. ccb. why is life so difficult nowadays.

time will heal. time will heal. be patience, your time will soon come.

i need to prioritise this now.

studies
family
other comes in next

yes. i'm putting my family aside a little after june holiday. lets mug all the way, and make up for all the time i've loss. please, understand me. i'm not going to waste hundred of dollars to be disappointed at the end of the year. if you don't mind, i do. if you don't care, i do. if you don't understand me, well, don't care.

going out with 3e clan tomorrow plus some others to sentosa. thursday is grandma's b'day. and friday is cousins date, watching transformers at jp. bahek. saturday sunday, hopefully no plan. i want to study. bye. chatting about tmr, otp and blogging. hahaha.

24 june,
HAPPY SIXTEEN B'DAY NIZAM,
may you (and me :B) pass olevels with flying colours.
last long with you gf.
semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki :B

25 june,
HAPPY B'DAY NENEK MARMAH,
kakak tau kakak pendiam, kakak tak banyak bbl,
tapi kakak tetap sayang nenek. sayang sangat2.
semoga panjang umur, dan murah rezeki.
sayang nenek, muah!

rusyaidi

2009-06-23T00:44:00.004+08:00

hahaha. baby is very cute. dia merajuk sebab i refuse to buy him as my pet on tagged. why? well, i feel it's unnecessary. it makes me feel like buying dog/cat or something. he is a human being, why pet? gosh. but i like it when i recieve emails telling me baby has been buying me every time someone else bought me. hahaha. kelakar. "i tak boleh kalah eh". kuang3.

on the 21th, mum called me but i silented my phone and continued sleeping. then little brother wke me up and pass me house phone. mum asked us to get ready asap and cabbed to sci. centre. okaylah tu. but i didn't rush much, sikit je. then tunggu luar sci centre sampai lain semua sampai. they [org kl semua] actually gi sc, so kite meeting point pat situ.

nenek was there, and she badly want to have a look at her estate that she lived during her younger days, so dad drove us there. only dad, 1st bro, nenek and myself was in the car. ade naik train, ade naik van and stuff. org kl nak try naik train. so, tak kuase. sampai tanglin halt je, kite hunt for nenek's old blok dalam kerete lah. blok 63 tak salah. she keep repeating "dah lawar", when i don't really think so. acceptable ah for an old block. i wonder how worst off it was in the past.

dah tu jumpe yang lain2 yang naik mrt kat mane tah, but i stayed in the car sebab panas satu, mendak lagi. then dorg pusing2 s'pore. i actually followed sebab fikir ade sedare2, turn out, only me and my 1st brother yang so called "gerek2" ah. lain semua budak2. so layankan danish uh. best jugak. ibu kate nak gi orchard, shopping. tu pasal ah i follow takde lenggah2 -.-

dorg beli makan otw. i slept in the car. peh mendak. then kite gi mane eh? lupe. mane tah uh. oh. mount faber. sebab dorg nak ingat2 time dorg kecil ke ape tah. nih part, macam siak kay. tak suke. i spoilt my dad's father's day mood sia. sorry ayah.

firstly, kite nak makan, beh monyet datang. bukan satu sia, 2 ke 3. ganas pulak tu. kite gerta dia, dia gerta kite balik. hahaha. dah makcik2 run around kalahkan budak2. kelakar. then i asked ibu lah, favour ambilkan makan, dia taknak, suruh ambil sendiri lah ape lah, sampai aku kene marah dengan abah. tu part, sakit hati kay. sembs ah sembs. so i never eat. merajuk maha kay. tak suke ah. macam, mengarut an. sumpah. kalau korg dengar macam mane kate2 dorg, sakit hati. tak pekik ah, tapi tak perlu pe cut in. takpe2. pakcik aku jugak. sayang dia jugak. haiya.

so, umie nampak aku sad, so kite feed kure2 makan. wah. terus hayal sia. hahaha. suke you! haha. i like to play around. nanti semua dah datang tu spot, i throw the food somewhere else, nanti dorg berebut. tenguk roti kene makan, hayal. shiok kay.

dah tu, jalan2 around mfp. mendak lagi. emo sorang2. hahaha. fake! dah tu plan nak gi hort park lah, ape lah, check2 gi mane tah. kent ridge tak salah. situ pun, duduk2 je. dorg2 bbl2, aku enjoi sunset. haha. dah tu plan nak gi makan, tapi malangnye, van wee rosak. takleh start. ader 2 van, 2 family car, ngan 2 kerete biase. convoy [sp?] or what. yg sikit hari lagi fun. 2 family car, 3 kerete, 2 van, 1 lori. maut pah? hahaha.

since van rosak, dorg separate uh. sumbat2 org. mira ikut kite since kerete boleh sumbat lagi. then ibu tanye nak gi mane, baru kul lapan. then ibu tanye where to find my shirt, cause i told her i need to do some shopping. kite gi vivo. bawak mira. biar uh, sekali sekale org kl datang :D

dari satu kedai ke satu kedai. gss mah. masuk pull and bear, topshop semua, tak minat. cari punya cari dapat beli 2 long sleeves from forever21 and mango, dua2 purple pulak tu. hahaha. mira beli satu basic tee from mango. ibu belanje. shiok kan. of course. then makan pat ljs. finally makan, dari pagi tak makan. cam -.- merajuk lagi uh. haha. then antar mira balik rumah cik ani, kite pun balik. terus aku pengsan. actually tak, nak tdo, bie msg2. susah woi. tapi dapat tdo jugak. bie bangun siang, beh i sleep balik. hahahaha. sampai i skipped maths.

so, 22nd

i was really lazy, but dragged myself to school after missing maths in the morning. ader dah bangun tdo balik pat sofa. hehhehe. sakit hati tau msg dengan kawan2. this sms convo roughly sounds like this, malas nak check.

syaf : kau dah buat geog?
me : belum abis. kau?
syaf : rewrite. then math [no fullstop no nothing]
me : math?
syaf : huh? no!
me : ape kau bbl?

check2 pat class, showed her the msg, dia tak ingat ape dia nak cakap. bahek~ pagi2 atas katil dah kecoh. nih lagi satu, cekik darah.

me : class dah abis?
shiykin : okay.
me : huh? aku tanye class dah abis, ape yg okay?
shiykin : takder. haha. dah.

bahek ah. buat aku sakit jantung pagi2. ade tengah plan nak keluar rumah tak, kene gini. -.-

dah sampai class, kecoh. haha. geo was alright just that i forgotten to bring my fullscap dan obviously semua ans pat dalam. so, forget it. nasib cikgu tak check. then ss cancel.

imagin dari kul 1130 sampai kul 2, -.- lepak sia pat rumah. shiykin came over and took over the sofa. i took over the remote control. hahaha. golek2 sampai kul 01.45 gerak gi sekolah balik. merepek kan. class ended at
03.30. balik, check email semua. dapat call, suruh turun cepat. i dragged till kul lime lebih baru keluar rumah.

sampai je, semua nak gerak gi block ajie. aku fikir ade duduk sane. sekali tenguk ajie cause dia sakit rabak. it's a relieve to see him atleast better lah, i'll be lying if i said i wasn't worried after seeing him in such a condition at the clinic. no, i didn't meet him on purpose. i was otw to granny's. ternampak. terbeliak mate sekejap, tapi semua dah okay.

dah tu dorg main bola. aku pun read up. dah tu balik jalan jauh cause nampak abg gg. tadi abg gg balik, aku bukakkan pintu, okay je dia. he should understand. maybe meeting bie after sch. eh, five hours of chems eh? o.0 mampus. biar boleh survive kay. and if i'm lucky, i might get to follow my family to eat at swensen on thursday, b'day nenek. and friday, we'll be going to watch transformers, well, all of my cousins. fuh. takleh wait. confirm fun. :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

now, i want to cook maggi and eat. lapar. and i badly need a new phone. i'm going to count how much my phone go off and on today. kite lihat. sakit hati sia nih hp. tak gune! tsk. santa claus said he's giving me new handphone for chrismas? well, hahhaha. macam faham eh.

whole weekends with family, SHIOK~

2009-06-21T03:03:00.009+08:00

bahek. they sing it really well, but sharks~ it put me to tears. why? it doesn't matter. really. don't bother asking why [if there's anyone there who'll ask], i won't tell. hmm. nope. i won't. "close" friends should know. inverted commas, well, they're not so close now. hurting? well, i'm hurt to. ade pergi ade balik pe? :B

i'm rally very hungry now. i've already ate a lot, maybe tak uh. but i ate a lot of junks today, and i'm hungry. tu takper, dah kul berape nih -.- tsk. i've ate nasi minyak, kuih-kuih, nasi lemak, double cheese burger, fries, nuggets, milo mcflurry and COKE. yes, wth? coke sia. 'cause my cousins bought it and we shared, dah semuanya coke, takde hek, takde hok, minum saja yah. haha.

where did i go today?

suppose to go abang yan's angkat nikah, tapi too early [kene siap2 kul 7, sapa mau gi layan], so kite cousins semua tak gi, mak2 je gi.
that ayah&ibu pick us up.
abang yan dan wife jambu. i'll upload the picture soon. kite ambil gambar sendiri2 aderlah. believe me, i'm short, sheesh~ life is unfair sia. hais. hahahahah!
gerak sane kul 5 gitu gi changi beach. yah, wtf -.- pakai smart2 semua, gi pantai. tak cool.
beh semua nak balik kul 9 lebih, tapi kite cousins nak merayap lagi.
3 kerete, abg idad's, abg is's and paman [paman uncle ah actually]
kite gi ecp. tenguk abg haikal. he had his performance.
then kite slack macam2 pat mac.
kul 12 lebih gerak, sampai rumah kul 0105.

where did i go yesterday, then?

ditch bio because i cannot wake up. fuck! i hope i didn't miss a lot.
woke up late in the afternoon and gi rumah nenek.
layan danish gerek, su-wear! haha.
malamnye, kul 8 baru nak siap2 gerak, gi merlion park.
asal org kl datang je, merlion park, asal org kl datang je, merlion park.
beh jalan gi esplanade tenguk abg dan ngan abg haikal keje. kelakar. tak senang org keje kite lambai2. kuang3.
beh jalan lagi gi suntec. peh bengs. bukan nak jalan dalan marina sq tau, jalan lua. peh panas.
dapat tau fountain tutup.
patah balik all the way -.-
dah penat2 gi makan pat al-azhar.
dah tu balik.

tomorrow, i'll be going out again. pagi dorang nak gi kubur. i don't think i'll be tagging along cause i don't think i can wake up. dah tu tatau dorang nak gi mane. i want to get new tops! tsk.

quite number of people is missing me. and bie own me a story. wtf? now i'm right smack in the middle. idk ah. shit sia. hmm. bye. going to upload the pictures now :B

well, this isn't full. kak arah, kak yana, abg haikal is missing.
and obviously i'm not ready -.-
and gambar nih dinie tetibe hilang. LOL ah.

again. NOT ready. kak linda ketawe tak maintain.
satu2 muke baik change.

bride and groom.
hensemkan? biasa uh.
abg sedare siape? ^^,

one word : PANAS.
sumpah atas pelamin macam nak roboh satu.
panas dia fuh, lain macam. hahaha.
baru sedare plus anak sedare eh,
belum lagi makcik2.

[hint ; tenguk gambar bawah]
zyra and myself got ourselve same bracelet.
biasa jugak. dari kecil semua barang same :B
tenguk tol2 nanti nampak.
ibu ngan acik buatkan :B
if you think i look short plus small here then ...
["kakak", ucu, "adik"]
padahal zyra b'day dulu dari aku.

mampus. i su-wear, non of them tip-toed.
dah nampak kecil takpe, pendek pulak tu.
zyra, dinie, abg faizal, me :B

nih dinie step abg2 lobang -.- step hensem je.
belakang actually tempat org basuh2 pinggan,
dinie cover.

abg faizal, me, wawak, zyra, dinie.
so, takleh salahkan jugak. makcik dah kecil,
tak salahkan aku kecil :B

UCU! hahaha. dia actually stick pat wall.
tapi tak nampak sebab too bright.
hahaha.

me, abg is, zyra.
nak step only. padahal pat tangan ade icecream sendiri.
now can see the bracelet? :B

semua sedare, kecuali paman, minus the little girl, 3rd from left.
not in pic : kak linda, abg yan, abg idad, kak yana, kak arah, abg ayus, abg haikal.
tatau why semua auto badan ke tepi.
-__________-"
formal lah sangat.

okay dah selesai :D kite main chop-chilli-chop lagi pat changi beach. mak kau, kelakar gile lah sia. dende kene buat charet [tatau spelling ah!]. terlompat2 sak satu2. kelakar.

i want to follow them on friday D: but idk what time they'll be going out, to watch transformers. gerek per.

senario :
abg gg belanje kite cousins mac. so ade belen duit cause i top up for zyra's mac flurry, change dah kasi dinie, malas nak panggil. then change i gave abg gg.
abg gg : taknak uh. *wave2 macam ape tah*
me : yessa! *simpan duit dalam wallet*
acik : eleh! manje dia dengan abg dia!

well of course! mane lagi nak dapat luangkan mase dengan dia. nak bbl pun kadang susah. lagi, i'm his one and only sister, sape lagi dia nak manjekan? *wink. tadi abg gg nak belanje mccafe, tapi shasha tolak. tak sampai hati pulak kan. bahek punya adik. mane dia tak sayang? :B

okay bye.

funny names.

2009-06-19T01:56:00.003+08:00

why i find facebook useful to kill boredom :DDDDDDDDDDDDDD

well hello there, i'm MEATBALL. glad to meet you.

HAHAHAHA. something random. i can't imagine.

what will my nickname be like?

BALL/MEAT/EAT/MB

hahahaha.

one long name that is. imagine me, going on an interview kay people,

ME : well hello, nice to meet you. i'm IDB.

interviewer: *muke confuse*

ME : erm. that stands for Impossible Dragon Boxing. i know i have on long name

*muke pathetic

i'm not surprise if i have hard time finding job with this name, EHH, i can't even be taken seriously will all these nonsensical names sia. hahaha. just for laugh. next3 [!]

mau challenge pah? got vogue lagi, rock-ayah!

hahaha. well, sorry if i offended anyone, again. well, it's just too funny.

i thought only Singaporeans step cute/vogue/ this and that, well.

HAHAHAHA. i laughed at Alim because he got Mat Laksa, so i tried ah,

it turns out, my one was even ridiculous. hysterical.

well, people say revenge is sweet?

2009-06-18T13:50:00.006+08:00

be prepared to laugh like hell. hahaha. plus, nih post takde maksud nak offend sesape, just for laugh, hahahah. sakit hati sak chat ngan SHIYKIN. tapi sumpah conversation takder lesen. tapi, shasha dah ader censored kan ah. hahahaha. kelakar sia. perut sakit. nak makan, tak makan2.

Bie, maaf kan i? hahahahaha!

had school today, maths and ss.
FORTUNATELY, ss was canceled, but!
GET WELL SOON MISS NURUL.
mr k dragged class for another half and hour
amazingly, i didn't cared much
because i understood what he taught.
amaths some more
maybe meet bie later,
tak kene sembelih beh digoreng jadi satay dah cukup bagus.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!
i haven't had breakfast, and lunch.

i want :

MacD hotcake breakfast D:
try KFC breakfast.
pizza
crunchie bar, idk who ate mine!
junks, and more junk foods

well, i'm going to be fat DDDDDDDDDD: and i took this survey on facebook, about your ideal weight or something, and mine was lik 49.5 kg. kiwak. not going to happen. i'm not going close to 45 even. no offence though.

ps: i got to know abg gg pun suke strawberry milk tea, (h5), satu gang!

tell me the reason why not to love my brothers? :B

2009-06-17T22:07:00.004+08:00

the whole house was panicking. we all know my second brother have a very bad temper.

ayah : adik. turun. cari kasut abang gg. asal tinggal satu je kat luar.
ibu : it was here tadi bile i come back from work.
me : siape nak gi curi kasut sebelah je? it must be somewhere.

adik : takde kat bawah. tak jumpe.
ibu : try cari.

hours after giving up.

ibu : sha, ambil panadol. takder orang dengar ibu mintak.
me : tsk. jap. [i know i'm rude, well]
ibu : kau tau kasut abang gg kau kat mane? *grin
me : o,0
ibu : jap2. takleh ketawe.
me : O,O
ibu : tadi ibu call abang gg.
me : *waiting
ibu : kasut yang kat luar tu dah koyak. *ate medicine
me : *waiting some more
ibu : sooooooo. dia bawak sebelah je gi main bola.
me : *trying to imagine
both : HAHAHAHAHAH~

well, wtf? we all gone through all those trouble for nothing. thanks bro!

HAPPY B'LATED B'DAY 1ST BROTHER!
kakak sayang abang. and i promise i'll take good care of myself,
and try not to come back late. heh.
well, i got home a hour b'fore my curfew on your b'day
yesterday.
happy 23rd b'day.
eeeeee, dah tue. hahaha. still so small, so cute, macam adik nyer
:B

ps:i've been getting miss calls from the same unknown number every night. scary. but who are you? the person don't seem to return messages i've sent. i just don't dare to call back.

2009-06-15T16:08:00.004+08:00

well, i've just delete everything i wrote here at first. 'cause i plan, not to blog about ecp, but i changed my mind after writing in point form. well, i'm going to blog about it. i have a lot of fun. yeah :B

i woke up at 0715. i slept in the morning like at three or four. i think i have insomnia. eeeew, it's so scary whenever i put it that way, but seriously, i have hard time turning in even after i'm super duper tired, but i think mine isn't that bad. i've watch some other people having insomnia on tv, and theirs are really bad. yikes. let just put it, i have sleeping disorder, sleeping difficulties. better. haha.

so yeah. bath and pack my bag. well, i washed my bag the night before, that's why i pack my stuff last minute. wee picked us [dad, mum, little brother and myself], and then picked nenek before heading to ecp. while waiting for nenek, bie called and said he was home. siang pe? haha.

reached ecp and some was already there. we shared this pavilion [whatever you call it] with another family, but because our family was huge, they took off soon after everyone reached. hahaha.

wee : you see, you see. you chased the bloody motherf**ker out.

hahahaha. well, with us cousins talking and laughing, and aunts conversation plus the bapak2 peh bebual, siape tak jalan, kan? haha. macam extra gitu. haha. abih satu part kite leave satu tempat duduk kosong, beh drizzling. hahaaha. ader satu family datang, dengan pantasnyer semua duduk,

wawak : okayokay. we play indoor game now.

hahaha. wtf. peh kurang ajar haji ahmad family. hahaha. okay fine. first game was very merepek nak mampus. wawak gave like imbuhan and we had to find as much word we can in our brain. -.- olevel malay dah lepas kay. hahaha. mengarut.

then kite slack rabak. main tu game boleh mengamuk -.- then we cousins rented bike and cycle from carpark 4C to around A area, back to our place to have a drink, and then cycle all the way to jetty to enjoy the senery. and adik fell, hahahaha! jatuh tengah2 alam pulak tu. kerek lagi. then we spill. the little kids [lol!] went off first, while zyra, dinie and myself wait to until they're out of sight before we cycled slowly. then abang haikal and abang dan followed behind. kelakar. we split again at this junction because zyra nak gi toilet fast, so the boys took the outer route, while we cut across [tak faham sudah], abih sekali tup2 tau2 all the kiddos are behind zyra and myself. teperanjat beruk kite, terus lincar kaduk kayuh gi balik. kelakar. gedebak gedebuk, basikal kene curi -.- by my aunt. so wait for them, before me and zyra cycle and storytell among ourselves.

patah balik, kak linda dah sampai. so i changed, and wait for her to eat and stuff and kie pun mandi laut. talk about school, studies, working life, and her 3 little kids, her life and stuff, well, and fashion, GSS and shopping too :B planned to meet up some day and do some shopping together, will be fun. but we aren't really sure what's the "in" thing now. fashion nowadays last for only weeks -.-

kite mandi2 tak ingat dunie sampai kene panggil naik. haha. soaking wet, we played game. our aunt made this long "skipping rope" made of rubber bands, the oldish style you know, haha. and they played skipping. takkan basah2 nak join kan -.- so kakak linda and myself wash up. dia taknak mandi, nak salin je, so i plead her to bath, and she did. kuang2. then changed and played more games.

ever played dog and bone, but 3 groups competing for a ball? well, we did. haha. macam siak. tempat kecil, orang ramai, boleh gile. bola licin pulak tu. jatuh tergolek2 satu2. kelakar.

wee : okayokay. choose what number. wee nak number three.
me : alah. kakak nak number three.

then we played this idk what game lah. but cool, cause purple team first mah. well, after that we played chop-chilli-chop. tu part, ketawe sampai nak golek2 sia. Wee gelek takleh carry. [for more details, lol, on previous post].

then malam main bingo. i won tupperware. well, second to finish the whole thing after abang idad. hahaha.

abang dan : tak abis2 family tante tau.

well, what to do. i have luck on my side. haha. then i start reading cause semua dah letih. pack up and head home. abang is bawak van. mak kau -.- takleh tdo. sebab dia bawak van macam bawak kerete lumbe. kadang2 macam naik kude pun ader. hahaha. takleh tdo sia. reached home, i can't go to sleep. tsk. seletih gitu pun, takleh tdo. was texting baby anyway, and can't remember what time i slept.

well,maybe what i typed out seems boring, and well, not much of fun, but i did have fun. haha. i'm looking forward to the next family gathering. next week :B abang yan kahwin, but i doubt it will be meriah. family problemo -____________-" baru bebaik tau last year. gaduh lagi. tsk.

Happy Birthday Umie.
shasha sayang umie, the best aunt ever.
i remember how you used to pamper me since you don't have a daughter.
happy b'day :B

video

2009-06-14T15:23:00.006+08:00

i'll be out later to meet bie. i'm uploading video of yesterday. update later though. i know i look fat, and full of enthusiasm, but shit, pleaselah, the main attracting isn't me, but my uncle [in green], and my mum [beside me]. hahaha. i couldn't stop laughing. though this is my first time playing "chop-chilli-chop", i've seen others play this in school a lot, so, it wasn't much of a challenge, but hell, playing with aunt and uncle is one hella funny shit.

i'm going to make bie smile today. hahahha. gdi. so self-conscious sampai think bukan2 -.- well, blame youself sampai jadi gitu, HAHAHAHAH! he knows what i meant.

uploading vid. in progress ... gosh this takes forever -.- bodoh. blogger being a bitch, so i'm uploading it on photobucket. gini, i can go and bath, so then i can meet bie. it's four already. and i can smell a strong perfume man. well, as in, really perfume. not me lah, i know i haven't bath and it's already four -.- hahahaha. i think my first brother. 'cause he's going out with my mum. to jp and then nenek's place. mum said there's no need for me to accompany her already since abang is home. so yeah. gi mandi dulu, brb. mampus. tak jadi. photobucket upload video super fast can? blogger takleh harap tol. ahahah.

this one, funny. abang idad takleh take it, so he passed. and hell, it was funny to see how my mum concentrate okay. she's going to kill me if she knows i'd upload the video on my blog. kuang3.

this one, nothing much, but abang dan laughed sampai golek2. haha. and i know i look fat and i can't stop fidgeting with my hair. well, i love my hair. don't blame me. hahaha.

kay. this one funny giler sia. i know i play with fun enthusiasm, i repeat, full enthusiasm eh. hahaha. okay. [inside joke], well, the main attraction isn't me. but my uncle in green. hahaha. see how he gelek ah. cannot tahan sia. hahahahhaha! after this, we all stopped playing and couldn't stop laughing watching the vid. again. semua start bluetoothing the vid. hahaha.

bengaps

2009-06-12T19:57:00.003+08:00

fuck, fuck, fuck (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
ish. geramnyer. i was bored and i edited my blogskin.
dah lawar lah kay, sekali i go backspace, and everything is GONE!
nbcb. now, nak kene restart. do everything over again.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

ps:baby called just now. hehe. tapi sekejap gile ah. ohwell. he sound, low? why ah bie?

okaylah kene buat balik blogskin. makkau peh laks lah. tsk.

:'(

2009-06-12T16:38:00.005+08:00

NAK NANGIS! haha. yeah. it really sucks to be away from baby. ceh. no lah. he didn't go oversea or anything lah, but dekat jugak uh nak keluar negeri, kuang3. jbz and of course himself is enjoying themselves at ecp. ecp near changi airport kan? hahaha. "oversea" lah sangat shasha. haha.

i'm at home, alone. how saddening. a great day to get away, but to bad, stuck home.

i couldn't turn myself in last night. i was anxious, for no main reason. kay no. there's a reason. i won't get to meet baby tomorrow[today lah tu]. and the next day [tomorrow]. and the day after too. sigh. baby called around midnight telling me he's home since he can't text me and asked me to go online. i did. he was being such a sweetheat. yep. melted. haha. he wanted to hit the sack, i was reluctant, but i told him i was fine. well, literally though. then he went offline. next thing, i saw him going onine and said "i takleh tdo". haha. how cute. then i reassured him that i'm fine and he ready head to bed.

i couldn't though. so, after going offline at two, afraid that mum would get up screaming at me for not sleeping, i turned on my night lamp that's beside my bed and start reading eclipse till four-ten in the morning. five chapters. almost a hundred page. cool or what? i wasn't sleepy yet, but it got to the boring part, so i stopped.

i have nothing to look forward to today. but i'm having study date with manss. not sure if it's still on. no one text me about it yet. but i'll promise myself to do some studying, or baby might just slaughter me, erm, or maybe himself. kuang3.

me, cause i promised him i would study, since haritu, hehe. and himself to let me rot while he's having fun. rofl. atleast that's what he said. haha.

i'm dead bored. and aderlah orang tu semalam malam called and said, "nanti besuk i nak keluar i call you", tapi malangnye, i woke up at nine [the time they suppose to meet], and until sekarang takde call, dah kul lime setengah dah. lupe kot. hmm. sad or what? -.- dah dua kali tau aku tunggu kan dia nye call/msg. the other day, he thon, and didn't tell me. so i stayed up till five in the morning waiting for him to text me saying he's home. i gave up cause no point waiting, by then, i can tell he isn't heading home. dengs sak. ader dia kate dia lupe nak msg. bahek. boleh lupe. takpe. nih kali pun lupe lagi.

okaylah tu kan. atleast he's having fun. nothing to blog about, really. bye. besuk my turn tinggalkan dia pat jurong, i go have fun, kuang3.

idk what to write as a title lah.

2009-06-10T21:34:00.005+08:00

yeah, my hair look long man! bahek~
and fuck, bodoh per! hahaha. baru perasan, edit nih gambar, wrong lah kan.
it suppose to be,

" somewhere in between all our laughs,
long talks, stupid little fights, AND all our jokes,
i fell in love. "

currently watching erlin montel. bored. didn't meet baby today, because i am suppose to go studying with Md Hafiz bin Md Abdoh but he paitau. he text me yesterday saying " i'll text you tmr, kay? " and guess what, yep, he didn't -_______-" so, i ended up spending my whole day at home, rotting.

Hafiz also just text me asking me to follow him to jalan besar stadium tomorrow to catch a match, gosh, i wish i could kay, it has been quite some time since we watch any match, but i made a promise to meet baby already. kuang3. and Hafiz tak reply when i asked " what happened to today? " cb. sepak muke kau sedap tau fiz. plus, you still hutang me strawberry milk tea, ingat? kuang3.

im hungry, very. only ate once, after i woke up that is around two, already used to it. sleep late, wake up late, not healthy though. i usually woke up by baby's text message, but he didn't text me today ): he was still sleeping because i've already told him that i couldn't meet him because Hafiz told me we were going studying today!? mengamuk eh? rofl. so, baby reply at five, so late eh -.- because he stayed up late yesterday, so that he will wake up late, so that he won't get bored, because i can't meet him today, because i suppose to go study. ish. sweet right? but too bad, kene paitau. tu takpe, he woke up late, so no point if meet sekejap. plus i don't want mum to loose he trust in me, sebab i'm always home late, kay atleast not far off my curfew though.

yah. i have curfew now. kuang3. tu lah. whatever. atleast i can go out, that's fine with me.

i can't think properly 'cause i'm hungry, very. mum mom cooked mee hoon tom yam. sounds nice aiy? it is, but mee again? o.0 gosh. jelak kay people. i want chicken, but i just ate chicken wing rice with baby yesterday ^.^ sedap. haha. and baby even kopekkan ayam, sebab " you makan lambat ". fine -.-

eh. bored sia. blog like no reason. hmm. very hungry, very thirsty, very smelly. kuang3. fake. okaylah. i'll post if i know anything else to post. i want watch erlin montel with full concentration. hahaha! wtf.

i can't wait for saturday, ecp. but i can't follow baby to ecp on friday 'cause they're thonning. gitu, saturday mati lah kan penat. plus, i'll pity ibu having to prepare all the stuff and food all by herself. and they'll be short of manpower to carry stuff. kuang3. my mum's cooking power mah, bab tu selalu kene masak, and at times, that boleh bawak gaduh -.- nanti yang penat mak aku, tol tak tol? lagi nak order2. tsk okay fine. asalkan ibu happy masak2 kay? i want to swim babe. okay bye.

curry.

2009-06-08T01:25:00.010+08:00

some crap while otp with bie. actually, ader banyak lagi, but lupe. hahaha. bie, give up eh ader matair pekak?

bie : bie, campak tali luar tingkap.
me : huh? ibu tak masak pun.
bie : bukan curry, ta-li!
me : oh, *laughing non-stop

me : bie, tadi i makan spaghetti.
bie : huh? kedai kopi?

bie : *hung up.
bie : *called back
me : dah lame buat kerje2 gini?
bie : tak uh. nih first time.
me : huh?
bie : nih first time.
me : huh?
bie : nih first time!
me : oh! first time eh. fikir dah lame buat kerje2 gini.
bie : takder oh. nanti buat lagi. *hung up.

bie : nasib baik you matair i, kalau tak i tak layan.
me : takya matair ah.
bie : mane boleh. you matair i. matair paling tersayang sekali.
me : eleh!

awwwww~

bie : sekarang kul rape?
me : kul 2 lebih. why?
bie : oh. haha. okay seram.
me : hahaha. kental!
bie : seram lah seh kat skatepark.
me : hahahaa.
bie : bie, tunggu jap. lari ah. seram lah seh.

hahaha. how cute sia? keluar lagi pagi2 bute, lol.

okay. currently talking otp with bie. gile. okay dah letak -.- dia gi leps pagi2. takde kerje. memang pun. now i'm bored. waiting for bie to text me. tasha pun dah offline. she got dance later. takde orang nak chat. so i update loh. since it's already two-thirty, i'll update about and the day before. jom.

sixth june,
yah. that stupid fuck post thing, obviously it tells that i fought with bie. really. macam c-al. so yeah. i woke up, slack, bath and waited for bie to fetch me. check-check he called at 1710 saying to meet him in 20 minutes time at nbp. mengamuk. so i left home and bought myself bubbletea to cheer myself up. didn't work.

sampai nbp, cume ade anspade and idrees. slacked. bie came with ajie. mamat tak kerje -.- nak duit tak nak kerje, bengs. an pun sampai. satu2 hilang. so left an, bie and myself. since bie dengar mp3, me and an talked. i know somehow, bie tak suke. but tengah gaduh, tak kesah uh. haha.

then at night, got drama. tsk. so, meet hafiz and hakim. they just finished their match. i was suppose to watch, but heck, i forgotten. since i got no mood, i slacked with the pat tepi traffic light. tempat sungguh tak cool, but ohwell. haha. hafiz forever with his arms, and hakim with his irritating-ness. kite duduk lame, bbl nonstop, but nothing that really make sense. just like old times i should say, good time.

patah balik, cume ader bie with my bag. so i was like, okayyyyyyyyyy. i sat on the chair, and he sat on the table. tak bbl langsung. so i gave up and said that i want to head home. hantar sampai bawah blok only. fuck up. masuk rumah, letak bag, keluar lagi. ambil angin. so i text bie, 'im not going hm, fyi. i need time alone. onc ei reach hm, i msg u.' next thing i know, he was walking really fast to our used-to-be meeting place before we were together, few blocks away from mine. god. dalam otak dah 'mati. confirm kene marah'. so, turun. cari dia.

betul. kene marah. mate Edward Cullen. hahaha! mum was calling, so i head home. nih kali hantar sampai atas, but i saw that pintu rumah bukak, so i told him, and i went out of the lift tu macam je. kalau dia boleh buat gitu, takkan aku takleh, kan? rasekan, >.<

used lil brother's phone to text bie. convince him ah kononnye that i didn't go anywhere else. so malamnye, dah okay. he said he was afraid that i was still mad at him -.- memang ah. abih dia buat muke, buat muke jugak ah. haha. fair pe, tol? wtv. hahaha. kay no, nanti gaduh lagi -.-

seventh june,
cehceh. orang tu dah attach or what? last long kay babe. i'll support you from behind like i've always been. jangan lupe me since everything now dah, cock up? hah!

so, woke up late. itu pun bie msg baru bangun. mandi, siap-siap. ayah drove us to expo. okaylah. i rather follow my parents then erm, feel awkward in some place i don't feel welcome much ah. no offence. betul pe. pape, sorry je i wasn't present. i doubt it made much difference. and the reject call thing, it wasn't on purpose. but ohwell. bende dah jadi. gi expo, borong buku. lol. eh, i bought Eclipse already :B and Breaking Dawn too. advance rabak lah kan. best!~ bought bio, amath and comb. sci assessment book. dah lame gile kay tak buat buku2 gini. last p6 i think. hahaha. tak kuase, olevel punye pasal. spend most of our time pat kedai buku. from assessment books, to story books, to stationery, to buku motor, to buku kerete that all five of us [sudah terang abg gg takde] was engross is. best! satu family tenguk buku kerete. and i want to own BMW car! haha. cite-cite tinggi. insya-allah ^^, and i've already told that to bie, lots of time, ibu, ayah, abg, adik and idk who. hahaha.

we spend like over a hundred dollar on books. mostly, mine. hahaha. so redeem bende. kelakarnyer, first redemption counter, pasal duck tour and the bus thing ah. explain2, couldn't decide nak tak nak, 'cause it's only free for one child and one adult, but that's discount for the other tix lah. beh bbl2, sekali ibu kate nanti datang balik. orang tu lupe chop receipt, ibu gi second redemption counter and first thing the person buat gi chop receipt dulu. hahaha. beh dapat 1 tix untuk idk what toy museum tak. peh bacin -.-

so yeah, after going to the popular side, kite keluar.

first brother treat us steamed cup corn [wtv it is lah]. sodap! tapi mahal nak mamps for a cup, $2.20. tak worth it sia. then gi mane tah, first brother bought 3 perfume [tamak!], and ibu bought new slippers. nak beli baju, ibu kate quality tak bagus lah, ape lah, and she said cotton-on lagi bagus. kay fine, siap ah. nanti kakak ketuk mahal2nyer. kuang3. hahaha. fake.

that gi john little nyer tempat pula. only ibu, abg and myself masuk. adik dengan ayah duduk luar. nampak flag new urban male. slipper adik takde size. tu lah, kaki gajah lagi. kuang3. got myself a pair of num surf pants. i want to buy buju, beh ibu macam tau2 dah jalan dulu. kurengs~

bought 4 bantal. taknak kalah! hahaha. then dah. balik. no. gi tampines. makan @ Rasa 21. sodap. ate spaghetti, beef something. sedap giler, tapi banyak mushroom sia. abih dah tu kucing pulak datang. step cool. duduk je tapi kaki dah bersile. hahahaha. ibu dah lari dulu duduk meja lain. kelakar kay. ibu keep pestering me 'sha dah belum? cepat. sedut je lah semua!' kuang3. kelakar. only then i realised, i was the last one to finish my drink -.- dah tu balik.

haha. okay dah abis. bye! and i've decided not to cut my hair. hahaha. fickled-minded gile babi. i suddenly find my hair very nice. hahaha. selalu gini. takper. doesn't make a different cause my hair grow pretty fast ^.^

bye. i miss bie, meeting him later and i'll be bring my new assessment book, wakakak. dari takde kerje, baik belajar. and mum went gyming tadi pagi tak ajak! -__________________-" and please ah people, dah bace blog tag leh, how sad. pakai chatango, hari2 check mesti ade org tag baru, tukar cbox je semua loket tag ke? -.- ader spelling/grammar/apape lah mistake, buat bodoh ah. ahaha.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2009-06-06T04:53:00.006+08:00

EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY!
EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY!
EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY!
EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY! EFF-YOU-SEE-KAY!

i just want to be in your arms again. this feeling sucks.
just give in lah sha, bodoh per kau? tsk. dah uh.
nak tdo, that is, if i can. how am i suppose to face you later?
sigh. shit

2009-06-06T01:21:00.005+08:00

cute right? see how they sleep. omg. freaking real and adorable. alalala. okay. i want to go watch some more. heh!

cute gile. starting perangai macam shasha! hahaha. wth. and and if i were the sister right, i happy you! super duper cute. tapi nih vid ader boring sikit, tapi tetap cute ^^.

ipin semuanyer betul. kay lah. i can like copy paste everything sia. wth. hahaha. so cute!

okay nih last. hahahaha.

nih spider dia cute! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

- atleast this made my day.

tak marah, tapi kecewa.

2009-06-05T22:02:00.011+08:00

DISAPPOINTED

yep. im disappointed, big time. if you think i dont mind you doing idiotic things behind my back, and then you can simply get away like as if i wont care, then you're f. wrong! i rather you do such a thing right in front of my f. face if you dare, rather than keep it mum and wait till i hear about it by myself. what if i dont meet you today, will you keep it from me till i hear it from them myself? if you act differently in front me and behind me, baik tak payah kay. i hate two face people. if im harsh, im sorry, but seriously im very disappointed with you. but i still do love you. please, i may be really very picky and stuff, but its for you health. im doing my part to keep you safe, i dont want anything to happen to you, be it now or in future, as long as youre still with me, im worried. sigh.

what ever, its your life. i wont want to fight or quarrel with you. im wrong for 'lying'. yaya. im sorry. you came already anyway. whats the different? ah. forget it ah. im just speakless kay.

---

i woke up rather early and read a message at 0437 in the morning. how early. i dont mind, really, cos its holiday anyway. that part, i truly understand, but hais. 'tanye diri sendiri ah'. suit yourself. so, i slack in my room. bath and ate. watch some tv and roll on bed. prevent myself from going to bed.

in the afternoon, me and lil brother skate to nbp. halfway through, my blade gave way. thanks lil brother! you better get me new pair of blade! idc. seriously. my left roller blade, bawah pecah kay. wth. macam mane boleh pecah tatau. good thing it was a bday give from acik when i was still in pri5 i think. tak ingat. baru2 belajar skate, so she bought me a pair. and ive been roller blading or also known as in-line skating ever since. but gosh, lil brother is way better than me. bullshit! i taught him how to blade sia. and he can do tricks, jump here jump there, like nobodys business on his blade, sedangkan aku nak turun steps ade badi2 but no stopping kay when approaching ^.^ haha. kononnye step power, tu kalau jatuh sedap kay. haha. anyway, lil brother is soooooo much confident with blades that i do, atleast i know how to blade, kuang3.

so, since my blade is being such an ass, lil brother offered to send it all the way back home and i waited for him there where i last stop since i told bie, he dont need to pick me up since im heading down with lil brother. takut dia marah i go alone, i rather wait for brother. dah tu, lil brother happy2 blading around while i have to walk alone. kene tinggal kape sha? haha.

reached there, cun2 bie pun sampai. nothing much, really. just that bie was being nice and treat me lunch, a bottle of peach tea and burger ramly which i recently crave for, thank you bie! :] bought for afiq his gift, and we walked around. soon after bie sent me to meet my lil brother and we walked [for me atleast] home together. i really truely dislike today.

i just flip throught the tv channel and guess what barney just staid 'friends should tell friends the truth'. well it doesnt only apply to friends, right? obviously im right. hah. well. people do tend to lie sha. so just close one eyes lah. see how. lol.

i think ill be cutting my hair. i just need cash. yeah. duh. takkan gunting bayar pakai daun kan? kalau gitu pokok2 kat dunia nih semua dah botak. haha. kalau lah money plant betul2 grow duit, kan best. haha. cos my mum plant a lot of them kat luar rumah. boleh jadi hutan -.- fake! haha. gitu kaye raye hor. haha.

i seriously cannot tahan how thick my hair is. i was bored the other day, and i took like 50 pictures all with me inside, heh! and the main reason why i dont like my picture is firstly, my bloody eyes - sleepy, mane tak, ambil gambar kul 0240 pagi, and secondly, my hair just conquer the whole picture. thick man. haha. so yeah. ill be trimming it, soon. saw bie's hair. sedap sikit. tak lah rimas -.- now he happy2 his hair isnt bothering him anymore, but for me, gosh~

my hair is seriously bothering me you know. tsk. sampai tadi after reaching home, i cannot tahan, so i tied everything up, as in high up, sampaikan fringe semua diikat. and funny thing was :-

lil bro : kak, stop it eh rambut ikat gitu.
me : hahaha. takleh tahan ah. panas!
wait2. kelakar eh? kakak ikat sembarang. jap. nak check.
lil bro : haha. macam _____________. [pepandai figure out].
me : HAHAHAHA! musibot. tak style, tak style.

and me and lil brother plan to have some ~~gyming~~ jogging session someday. yeah. spending quality time or what? i just need a partner to do this kind of things with me. yeah. found one already. he is going gyming with his mates tomorrow, and i dont know what will i do in a gym, so i give it a pass. jogging will do for me. haha. i just need to loss the fats in my tummy area. self-conscious sia. hahaha.

bye. i have a good feeling, today will be another disappointment. prove me wrong lah.

bie mane?

2009-06-04T23:14:00.004+08:00

I'm dead bored. Currently just chatting with syayie since an is busy anime-ing and hafiz went offline because he have to work tomorrow/today [its actually 1230 but again, I changed the timing]. Idk where the f. hell is bie. No text because his ppd is low, no calls too obviously. I don't even know if he's home yet. I don't think so. Selalu dah balik msg, tak msg2 pun. Kambing tol. Semalam balik peh siang, niari lembs. Ohwell. He got his hair cut today, I want see how he looks like, muahaha. I'm going to get my hair cut too, soon. Tomorrow if I get the green light from mum. I cannot stand the thickness man. Plus I don't like the idea that my hair is super bouncy whenever I tie it with hairband. Tak cool. I like when my hair to look long whenever it is tied up, bukan kontot beh bouncy2. Tak cool. hahaha.

Yesterday was our first month, but we just meet and stuff. Tu pun sekejap, okay, rather short 'cos ibu ajak makan luar. So, meet him like at four plus and at seven, he sent me home. I described to him the "tingling" sensation, rofl, and he got scared. kelakar gile. After getting home and changing, dad drove us to bbdc to top-up second bro's acct. ceh. dah nak dapat lesen per. Just don't get into any accident. lol. Then had dinner at Al-Azhar. Bought bakeries too. I had strawberry mousse, while lil brother got choc mousse and first bro got blueberry mousse. I also got myself two portuguese egg tart. Sodap! haha.

Reached home yesterday and got to watch tv. Sleep late cause I was chatting with bie.

Whereas for today, like I've said, woke up at nine cause bie called saying he'll reach in half and hour time. tapi tibenyer kul sebuluh. So, we slacked and I fell asleep, again. Bed too comfy uh, but I prefer my old bed. Woke up and bie was sleeping too. haha. Kepo. He stayed over until like two and he flied off. haha.

Didn't get my ass out cause I don't feel like leaving home plus I slept my time away. Woke up and it was already night. Anyways,

Happy Sweet Sixteen Afiq!
May your wish come true. Don't sadsad kay.
It's you big day, and it only come onces a year. Study hard,
and don't let anyone down. Ingat, shasha selalu ader kay?
and i never hear of my maths paper since, months ago 0.o
Happy 16th bday ^.^
Present nanti dapat kay.

Yeah. So, I have to meet them later to pass afiq his piece of cake like I promised and bie's mp3 is at my place. I think about cutting my hair again, cause sayangggggg sesangat. lol. Kite tenguk macam mane kay.

it's already two in the morning and i'm still wondering about bie. ccb. mane je tau dekni. i want to wash my face and turn in now. bye.

ps: i want to go roller blading/cycling.

first month or whuat?

2009-06-03T23:59:00.003+08:00

BYE! bie's coming over tomorrow morning. yes, morning. at nine gitu. semangat.
just to eat. wth. sebab nenek dia tak masak? tatau. heckcare. hahah.
maknenyer i need to turn in early. bye! early kebabai. 5 min kul 2.
[i just changed the timing so it stays on 3rd of June, wakakak.]

changed blogskin, banyak kau peh colour. so purplish.
i like! hahaha.

okay bye.
esuk saya tulis dengan penuh details yer.
[mampus. o'level baru lepas, details tatau translate melayu, hah!]

and i've not yet recover fully.
pantat!

happy first month bie ^.^
i was touch by your msg at 12 this morning.
su-weeet~ hahaha.
and i like the idea of us changing for the better, for both of us.
gerek~ okay dah uh. merepek.
hyper tak tentu pasal.

bye!
[bye dari tadi tak game2],
kay final, bye!

....................................................................
....................................................................
....................................................................

heh, BYE!
LOVE YOU, hahaha.

[edit]
and ohhh! dah abis bace new moon. siape ader eclipse boleh sharing2?
ahahha. i don't feel like forking out money and buying another book using my money anymore.
tak worth it, puas hati tu duit beli makan/baju. ibu kate nak sponsor, bayar balik,
habuk takder. hmm. (*lari masuk bilik nangis2)
FAKE! padahal dah mmg dalam bilik. hahahaha.
okay merepek lagi. siape ader ECLIPSE?
nak pinjammmmmmmmmmmmmm.
tsk.
nothing to read, very boring kay.

bye.

[/edit]

bored much?

2009-06-02T20:11:00.006+08:00

gambar tak perlu. muke setengah mampus, penat. was taken like at 10 -.- and dah lame gile uh. haha. siape ambil nih gambar? haha. asal bag terbukak? bab dorang semua godeh everything inside. haha. how cute. alah.

BESUK DATE BRAPE?

alah. lek ah sha. baru satu bulan. tu je kau mampu? ceh. no. of course lebih. haha. bbl sorang eh? haha. sudahlah. berubah. haha. okay. i'm just posting for no main purpose cause niari hidup aku pun macam takde makne, takde maksud. haha. sit at home and watch movie online - 17 again. lambat sebulan eh? haha. lagi, tuari tenguk twilight online. lagi lembs. twilight boleh tahan ah, but prefer the book more. reading new moon, left with only 1/4 of the book. nov new moon pat wayang, i want to watch. tak kesah. hahaha. wth. lame lagi. kin dah abis new moon beh buku, aku semalam bace brape page jek. weak sia.

DA ajak gi gym tomorrow. no cannot! sudah tentu tomorrow untouchable. no big plan, just meet bie that's all since today i stayed home. maybe thursday kay? jogging and stuff. semangat. bie, you kate i gemuk an? ceh. haha. sesape nak join?

okay dah lah. ahmad noor fami bin hami noordin nak pakai laptop kay. since i've been using it since noon. and i want to bath, eat, and watch tv/finish new moon. i cannot tahan. panas! nih kambing gi conquer kipas sorang, aku berpeluh cam siak sak sekarang. kurang ajar. sebab kakaknyer sorang nih tak bagi dia pakai laptop. hehe.

i feel betrayed. yes. by a friend. ouch~ siape? go figure. tak dapat figure sudah. takmu jump to conclusion. sepak kang sembarang2 nanti. takperlah, dah season kene gini kan. lupe friend. hmm. kay lapar. bye.

Happy 1st Monthsary Punk & Namira,
punk mane kau menghilang sia?
lupe friend kaper -.- may korang last long.
jangan buat perangai lagi kay.

2009-06-02T00:31:00.003+08:00

one word, LOL. wait, actually that was three. haha. wth. i'm going to change blogskin soon, something similar. i just want rainbow colour okay, can. haha. wait up. rather thirsty. brb.

okay back. i actually ate too. haha. tak boleh resist okay. honey chicken. siape boleh tahan? kan? i tau bie tengah lapar/mengamuk. if he were to stay here, my place, he's going to be the most happiest person. sebab selalu makan sedap. haha. the other day, i thought mum cooked laksa, and he was really hungry, so i asked him over and it turned out to be tom yam. now he's complaining that dia kempunan. then yesterday dia makan mc spicy, and i told him "tak jeles. i dah makan spaghetti pat rumah" , and dia pun kempunan spaghetti. funny okay.

malay olevel paper was okay, except for me, got drama sikit. anw, my eyelid is real heavy now. i want to text bie and turn in. describe in detail tomorrow kay. goodnight.

and bie, i still prefer you with less thick and dark hair colour. i can't be bothered with your hair colour already. kepale rock sia you, but please lah, rambut peh tebal. semut masuk mati sesat takleh keluar balik sia. hahaha. it'll grow lah -.- tsk. rimas sia. like girl-girl. hahaha. sachochek eh bie?

-__________________________-"

get well soon, diri sendiri -.-"

2009-05-30T20:49:00.004+08:00

I'M SICK! yes. fever. like hell okay. tak bedek. merane seh hidup. still, i'm eating chocolate cupcake that taste so sweet despite me not having to taste well [block nose], mane taknyer, icing dia is almost half the cupcake -.-

i woke up at seven, and god knows why. feel really uncomfortable because i can't breathe. so i woke up and pay a little visit to the toilet. grab the thermometer from mum's room and check my temperature. 38.0 degree. like shit. so i golek2 in bed, still cannot get myself to sleep because i can't breathe. texted bie, saying he can have fun with his friends today since he said he have plan. i'm sick so i can't meet him, plus i have some jemputan later in the afternoon.

he was worried sick about me, but i still can afford to walk, not yet admitted into any hospital, so don't worry kay baby. haha. so i gave up, got out of bed at ten, mum asked me to eat, take my medicine and bath before heading to bed again. did as was told and i woke up at three. mum texted me and asked us to "siap". did as was told - i seriously feel like i have no life.

i looked really pale. and i got some advice about jc/poly by idkw. i think my father's cousin? entah. but i call him wak hamid, aka wak owl. seriously, if i you go to his place, everything is owl, from the clock, to the crystal, to the refrigerator magnet, merate2 tempat owl. he and his wife collected them in the past. past time hobby i guess.

sit and eat. eat and sit. no life. haha. i admire kak nurul [penganti perempuan], sumpah jaw-hanging pretty kay. head home when it's about to rain.

reached home and i got online. downloaded some songs, and now blogging. i got nothing better to do. have yet to find my confirmation slip. and hopefully, tomorrow we are really not going out, and hopefully i'm well enough to meet baby. idk. tak dapat jumpe niari, rindu. but i need to rest well before Monday. tsk. 3rd june coming real soon, but i can only worry about that after 1st june is over.

GET WELL SOON ME!

selalu gini. nak exam besar jek, demam panas. tsk. nanti nak dapat results, demam lagi. nak bet? haha. and mum isn't surprise at all that i'm having fever -.-" normal stuff already. haha. baby said maybe i'm nervous, but idk. malay has been one of my best subject since primary school. and yeah, i got distinction during psle. eleh, tu psle jek. hopefully, olevel, a1 again? pleasepleaseplease. insya allah. doa banyak2, paper senang, heh! i'm going to be real sad if i get anything other than a1. tak bedek. my only subject that i hope i can get distinction.

and after getting lectured by wak hamid and wife, plus cik mail the other day about poly/jc thing. i think i know where to go now. just need to survey2 a bit more, and i can strive towards it. i know it's a little late, but atleast i did somehow make up my mind where to go after secondary education. but before i can worry about this future, i must worry about olevel. not that i'm not worrying, but i'm not working hard enough, i'm not satisfied with the rate i'm going but i made no effort to improve myself. i need motivation, i need someone to push me, stop procrastination cause it's the stealer of time. ceh! bbl macam pah. effort langsung takder -.-

and i made up my mind on one other thing. heh. nak cut hair. yeah. i want to cut my hair. unbelievable right? but with this hot and humid weather, i cannot tasyan having thick hair. so i'm going to thin it, real thin? maybe. haha. but i'm not gonna cut it short, not at all. sayang siol. haha. really ah. rimas sia rambut kembang/tebal.

gatal sia kaki. leher pon gatal. rashes? mati taknak, banyak penyakit siak. hahaha. kay bye.

ish.

2009-05-29T23:36:00.002+08:00

It really sucks being sick at the wrong time. I'm down with sore throat and blocked nose, and it really sucks like hell. Really not the time to be sick, MONDAY MALAY O'LEVEL LEH! Plus, my daily suppliment [vitamin C], dah abis. So I'm doomed. Panadol don't work on me, I'll end up being sleepy but I'll still wake up sick.

Can you believe how fast time flies? I feel like as if it was only a month ago when Mdm Mas said "o'level isn't far." and tup-tup, malay paper is on 1ST JUNE, yes, this coming Monday, duh~ and I don't freaking know where my confirmation slip is, hehehe~ Need to dig my old file out. gosh~ Not a need, but a must! Don't macam-macam eh. haha.

Anyway, today mark the last day of MTIP. Hurray? NO! Malay paper is on Monday. hahaha. Ceh, keep emphasizing eh. Duh. Okay dah. After MTIP, I went back home straight. Changed and slack before meaning bie at nbp. He followed me home to change and followed bie, idrees, khai, afiq and nizam to Marsiling. Bie sekarang dah macam girl-girl. I tell you, I gave in to you, you better don't do anything that I don't like, I smack muke you nanti - nih sumpah tak tipu. Had lunch at kfc and obviously I was the last one to finish. I panicked when I realised my wallet was missing. Check-check pat poket bie -.- tsk. Sampai nbp balik around 1930 plus. Slack and head back home.

My nose is block, and inhaler is not helping at all. My throat is iching, wanting to each icecream, drink bubbletea and also to finish up this tins of potato chips in my room. Sungguh menggemukkan dan tidak langsung bagus buat kesihatanku. ceh. Practice bahasa Melayu nampak? -.- Sesungguhnye ini hidung irritating.

Okay teringat shiykin cakap "idong" tapi jadi "idros" tadi pagi. And guess what, I used that name for my karangan and bina ayat. rofl okay. hahahaha. Cool aper. hahaha. And I feel like wearing contacts lagi. But malas uh nak go buy and stuff -.- the casing pun idk where I pun. tsk. Lupekan saje. Okay. Cukup hanya disini. Sekian, terima kasih. ahahhaha. Too much surat kiriman already. BYE!

taknak buat lagi )':

2009-05-28T22:20:00.002+08:00

I just got home. Yes late much? tsk. Nih semua kerane ade conflict lagi. Again. 3 days in a row you tell me. Can cry ah. But cannot cry, but end up, lol. But cute tau. But I feel sorry, to make anyone else other than me cry. I'm sorry kay? Seriously I am. I was just disappointed when you didn't want to look me in the eyes. tapi bile dia renung mate aku, aku plak takut -.-

And hal tu dah settle. Seriously, I feel rather awkward, because I've change y'know. ceh. I no longer confront people that way because I'm more sensitive towards others' feelings now, but, this just happen. Jom continue post tadi ...

After blogging and printing [I actually print evidence, semangat jubo, but I forget to bring]. I wanted to shoot sampai tak boleh shoot, but lupe point. Whatever, hal dah selesai pun. So yeah. After siap2, I met bie over at his place. Meet him, wait for Ajie, and then dotdotdot. You know, I know lah kay what happen next.

So, after that, head off and gi nbp. I started to read. Abih dorang ajak gi makan. So yeah. 5 of us, fyra ajie anspade bie and myself, walked to central and I saw Syayie. Hee. I always feel so happy to see her. I don't know why though. haha. So, then makan. Kocek kosong makan luar 2 hari. tsk. Mamat came tangkap hensem. hahaha. fake.

Gedebak-gedebuk. Idrees today feel like disturbing somebody, and obviously his aim is me. Why me? gdi. Because of this, I walked off and the fight broke off.

I feel hurted when he tinggikan suare, I feel hurted when he walked way in front of me, I feel hurted when he choose to leave me until I fought back to make him stay, I feel hurted when he refuse to talk to me, I feel hurted when he still didn't talk to me when I text him sedangkan, I'm just in front of his eyes. Too hurted that I wanted to walk off but I could make myself press the button. I heard him. I didn't choose to believe he did. It was unexpected. I now my behaviour was unacceptable. I'm sorry. Really am. I'm touched when you confessed. I'm touched that you actually cared. I'm touched that you actually do convince me that you really accept me for who I am. I'm sorry if I doubt you before. Ily and I promise not to do it again. heh, tak berani pun.

Today's fight was worse of all. His eyes was solid black, and it scares me like fuck. Tak bedek. Tanye dia, I told him and he actually laughed at me. hahaha. Too much Twilight maybe? When Edward marah, his eyes turns charcoal black right, same case. lol. To me at least. He was fuming with anger, and I'm such an egoistic girl eh, I go and fight back. Api lawan api, terbakar. And I regretted. gosh~

Then we're back to normal. We sit and talked and let things all out. Best.

Bie : you takmu close sangat dengan i uh.
Me : huh?!
Bie : tak uh. you takmu close sangat dengan i.
Me : (*muke confuse rabak)
Bie : tak, you ingat dulu you cakap you close minded (*buat tangan tutup pintu gitu), ah lah. i cakap, takmu close minded sangat.
Me : ohhhh! ceh. cakap lah close minded. i fikir i takleh rapat dengan you. sedih per matair sendiri takleh rapat?
(*both bursted out laughing)

Yang kali bbl biar terang kay? haha. i like how open we are today. as in, we share everything. i even share something i never told anyone before. gosh~ but i feel rather relieving though. we're open as in, sharing our secrets and stuff. kalau kau nak fikir lain, pemikiran cetek. haha. okay dah. chatting with syayie. bye (*wave)

i miss tasha, tak nampak batang hidung dia today D:

2009-05-28T13:50:00.003+08:00

Jom, kite reply tag sesiape di chatango aku kay ^^.

Shiykin: saper kerinting? nta, actually aku referring to aku, tapi paisey nk bebual kt sini. tkper, lets be open. hahaha, a'ah a;ah, aku suke kaler rmbt dier, tapi bukan org dier. action je. haha, ooppsss, no offence, nyahhh!! anw, sweet nyer post psl yg delete bender tuu. hahaha, cute laa korng.

- hahah. kau kerinting ker? o.0 where got. only your hair rosak. but you going for treatment soon kan. alamak. haha. okaylah. i'm trying to accept his hair kaler. tsk. haha. kau suke rai pun aku tak kesah, ceh fake. hahaha. rai action? mmg. tau pun! tu pasal dulu aku tak suke dia, kerek, but hahahaha. you know i know, the world also know lah. hahaha. sweet eh? taknak gaduh nyer pasal. sedih oi kene maki. tapi tu aku tak printscreen ah. hahaha.

Shiykin: JAGE TANGGE? NYAHHHH ^^

- favourite pasttime dorang. rofl.

Belle: eh aku tk tulis name bkn psl kecut ke ape ah, tapi if write name pon step kau knl aku je. skrg eh aku ngan kwn aku smue tk carik psl ngan kau knape nk kene tulis kat blog psl kite. suke suke ah nk diri kat tangge ade menyusah kan kau pe skrg? aku ade ke tak kasih kau laluan untuk jln? aku ketepi lagi ade siol. kau dh slh lagi nk bilang bdk jiwe psl nie. skrg kan nie antara kau ngan aku, kau jgn fikir kau matair ngan one of jiwe brothers, aku takut ah. sumpah kite smue takde berbual psl kau sak asl skrg kau nk berbual psl kite. eh kau fikir ah baik-baik. aku passerby.

Belle: klau aku besar nye pengecut aku tak kan mengaku arh dpn fyra.
Belle: eh bdk jiwe brothers! tak perlu ah nk maki maki. aku ade maki kau pe skrg. klau aku nk spam kan dh lame aku kotor kan chatango nie dgn vulgarities lah.

- deleted the whole chuck already. hal dah settle kay. hahaha.

Shiykin: NATASHA, TAKE A CHILL PILL. WTH!

- tengah chill uh nih. pill pill tak main. hahaha.

Faezaaah: heish. baru bukak chatango baru dah kene hate tag. tsk. sabar kay shasha?

- hahaha. tu pasel. hhaah. tengah sabar uh nih. haha.

```

wah. bende kecil boleh jadi besar gini. fyra just called asking and that belle is with her. sembs ah sembs. haha. kelakar uh. nih bie ah -.- orang kate biarkan, nak gi cari siape nih budak. dah hal boleh lah tasyan besar. alah. tak kesahlah. haha. 'cause i didn't bother me a single bit. cool shit sia. macam dah lame takde bende begini belaku, not like as if i want to lah.

okay. fyra call lagi suruh turun. settlekan hal nih. okay bye ^^,

wth kay.

2009-05-25T22:48:00.006+08:00

If you realised one thing, all the pictures in my blog aren't edited. One simple reason, l-a-z-y. Lol. Who cares anyway. Buruk tak buruk pun aku aper, kan? Wtv.

deleted this whole chuck by request. haha. pasal gaduh pat tangge. hmm. tulis nih nak buat kenangan je. mane tau2 terbace balik. nak tau jugak why delete kan. okay bye.

Oh anw, today mark the first day of MTIP [mt intensive programme]. Paper one was rather tricky for surat kiriman. I wrote crap I think. And I had hard time deciding which quesn to write on for karangan. But I like my story though. I hope the teacher marking with laugh as much as I laugh thinking about what to write.

Paper two was like !@#$%^&*(. Susah or what? The imbuhan, I cannot think of anything. And the peribahasa rather tricky and I'm confident I only get 2 ans correct. The rest was so-so. No clinic and feedback session today. Tomorrow, abis sekolah like what, 3-4 pm? gosh~ And that will last till friday, and monday will be MT o'level. scary.

I want Noor Syahirah anak Malique to cheer up boleh? please lah! I'm begging you! gosh~ stay strong. Mane syayie yang dulu strong aku kenal? Mane syayie yang dulu tak takut face orang? Mane syayie yang dulu shasha kenal?

MOHAMMED RAIMY,
I'm freaking sorry alright.
Trust me, I only love you.
Please, I know I'm in wrong,
and you have the right to be mad,
I'm sorry. I really am.
Your harsh words are killers, but I accept it.
I was wrong.
Trust me, I love only you, no one else.
*sob

okaylah. takde mood ah. gosh~

i rather fight with you now, than with bie.

bye ah bye.

edit : bace sendiri ah. tak shiok sia gaduh. sumpah.

offically addicted to books -.-

2009-05-19T17:35:00.002+08:00

I've already read half of my twilight book in just three days.

Going out later to pm Mac to study with Marzie.

I feel bad cause I told bie I'm not meeting him you see.

Maybe at night, I'll make it up to him. gosh~

I feel fucking bad.

Hopefully, I finish the book by tomorrow?

Or the day after and I'm going to get New Moon ^^,

shiykin said it's boring. bleah~ okay.

Got to text bie now. Telling him I'm sorry.

Anw, I'm really studying, so hopefully,

he won't get mad. BYE!

two weeks :)

2009-05-17T21:44:00.007+08:00

Bie hasn't replied me, worried, not really though. He's busy plucking strings away [guitar]. Didn't get to meet him today, duh - sunday means family. I'm grateful he understand. haha. Wtf [*dengan tangan-tangan]. Cut the crap.

Hasn't got online for two days already. On Friday, I got back slightly after curfew and laptop kene simpan dengan ibu. Nih salah siape orang balik lambat? haha. Wtv. Friday was boring, without doubt, just normal playing cards and stuff. Bile nak belajar nih natasha? tsk. WAKE UP UH NATASHA!

Anyway, if I'm not wrong, yesterday was Fyra & Ajie's first month or something, and they asked bie and myself to tag along. I was reluctant at first, for some reason, but I know I'm strong, plus bie's around. So, bie woke me up like at noon? Bath and siap-siap.

Got out of the house nearly at three, tak salah. Gi cc dulu since I was early. Head nbp. Waited for bie. Slack sekejap. Satu gerak, semua gerak. Pick Fyra up and we still couldn't decide where to go. Walked to interchange. And they decided - hobourfront. Training down was tiring. Tak bedek. Penat berdiri. Bie sadin dok tepi pintu. Mintak kene tendang, tapi tak sampai hati. haha.

Mainly, what we did there was to just walk aimlessly. Entered mainly shops that sell shoes. No idea why. haha. Then go makan ^^,

It was totally unexpected. Bie took $$ out of his wallet and said it was his treat. Aww~ How sweet. So, kite order for the four of us, but how unlucky, behind the counter, orangnyer ader lembab sikit. Naik penat okay order. Order lain, dapat lain. And idk how the hell she count, the amount we had to pay nearly reached $30. Bikin funny joke per four people makan tige puluh dollar. Kalau restaurant mane faham ah. Asked her to recount -.- Orang belakang dah hilang patience. haha.

Abih makan-makan terus dorang nak berasap, being the only one goody-goody [ceh!], I sat down and wait. Bus back home. Ader drama dalam bus. It was rather funny but scary. Understand understood uh if mat&minah couple fight how kan. Ironic - the girl push the guy away, but she was the one running after him later. Tak ke bijaksane namenyer? LOL! Okay. Stop it.

Slack for a little while before heading home. Was late again, an hour after curfew -.-"

Whereas for today, I woke up early sebab bie text me. Then, I cannot continue my sleep. It's okay it's alright. Had nothing to eat at home until mum fried some chicken for little brother and myself. Makan ayam, nasi dengan kicap, sedih per? haha.

Was waiting for the bus when dad called and said he'll be picking us up. Good. Reached granny's t two. All I did there was to read, sleep, read, eat, read, sleep. haha. I finished my book already, The Truth About Forever by Sarah something, tak ingat, and already started on Twilight. I know, lambat setahun sudah, but ohwell. haha.

Went back around five and had kfc for dinner after mum done her grocery shopping at sheng shiong. Bie pun kpo, msg kate dia pun makan kfc, same meal pulak tu. wtf! hahaha. Then pergi jurong west lame. Forgotten to buy my shampoo, perfume and facial wash. Then home sweet home.

Okay, I got no idea what else to say. So, I'll publish this nonsensical post now. Busy texting away anyway. Bie dah top up, msg reply laju -.-" Nanti low lagi. apedah. Okay bye.

ps: an perangai kurang ajar. mentang-mentang nak dapat hp baru - kerek. you wait, you wait. ader lorry ader bas, lain hari boleh balas. haha. wah! baru cakap pasal hp baru, hp bodoh nih buat hal. wtf! haha.

okay kepale sakit. bye!

blog problem?

2009-05-13T23:40:00.006+08:00

It is already 0010 hour and I'm still awake. bleah~ I'm actually sleepy already, but it's okay. I'll make a short update. Gambar atas, was waiting for bie to pick me up, lembab. Muke masih fresh eh? lol.

Eh, walau. I'm editing my blog, the profile and stuff, and I cannot view it. Like, wtf kay. I want to. How come ah? Semua blogspot pulak tu cannot. But preview can -.- Wth. Gasaklah. Hopefully, by later in the afternoon, it'll be fixed, somehow.

Anw, for 4Es, our mid-year [aka SPE1] has come to an end. grr~ It only tells us that SPE2 is coming, soon, real soon - after June holiday, all the killer papers left. Gosh. Going study with bie this Friday? Hopefully things work out, plus Saturday how? haha. Not meeting him today [time check: 0026h] since I'll end school rather late, but he might be picking me up. Bie, siap ah - beg berat. haha.

Anw, mum text me after school saying she's heading jp. And the other day, dia ajak shasha teman beli barang abang gg, but I was lazy and tengah shiok main "7 diamond" [baru belajar asik menang, siape tak shiok - tol tak tol?] I told her I'll follow her some other day lah. So I replied saying I wanted to change first, dia reply balik "u ikot ke" ape lagi, hurray2. Don't need to follow. Reached home, called mum up, and she asked if I wanted anything. Kirem "donut". Tatau uh ape bende, bie tau eh bie ^^. So I asked for 2 specific flavour, strawberry [for me, duh], and choc [for bie]. See, I ingat you tau, tapi malangnyer, member kene fake, eh? haha. Okay dah bbl sorang dah. Anw, bie will forever be late, and by the time he reach my void deck, my donut dah abis.

Walked to nbp. yadayada. Bored. Took out storybook and read. No life. Serious. haha. Beh start uh. Bie wanted to go back. Memain jek tau, cakap "alah" the only reason is that, malas nak bawak beg sini sane. And I guess I've hurt baby's feeling, and he head home, alone. (*binget). Buat dek ah. Played card, read, played card, read. No life, kan? Then time balik sakit hati.

Bie and I had our "heart-to-heart" talk under my void deck. Imagine eh, balik dari nbp all the way to my house, I didn't speak a word, just "mak nizam", cause I saw Nizam's mum lah -.- I told bie everything, and I cried, sikit jek >.<>

And oh! Lift baru dah boleh pakai lah seh! hahaha. wtf. Beh balik naik lift baru, jakon. Bie, tak fair. File tak cukop okay? haha.

Okay dah. Turning in now. Bie asked me why am I active tonight, Idk. Nih post pun, like no meaning. Macam bbl ngan bie gitu. Okay ah. Bye. Lapar -.- Oh ah! Tadi dah makan mee soto sekolah. Sedap! Bie binget. hahaha. Okay dah uh. Cukup uh. Bie sini sane nih post.

edit : 0043h
Blogspot dah pulih. hahaha. So far, bie jek tau nih blog. Soon, the whole world will now. Bye.

nak mee soto sekolah -.-"

2009-05-10T15:58:00.003+08:00

I'll make a short post before siap-ing. It has been 2 1/2 days since I last saw baby. 1/2 day? haha. Friday I didn't spend time with baby since I fought with mum, I rather stay home and be a good daughter. But atleast I got to see him out the window.

As for yesterday, was at granny's place and I thought of meeting him at night, but I didn't managed too since I reached home late. I was missing him that point of time since Zyra and myself was sharing our story like we usually do every time we meet.

As for today - sunday, I hardly get away on Sunday. bleah~ Going hospital [I think] later to visit Cik Mail who's admitted for Idk what. Then after that going shopping? Not sure. If we're going anywhere, I want to go queensway, please (!) to get my flip flop. Tak bedek. I seriously want it like crazy fool okay! hahaha. Tatau asal. And baby peh biadap, been making me envious since Punk gave his to him and baby kerek. Mintak kene cepuk jek.

Mum asked me yesterday if I'm still getting my flip flop, duh! And she wants me to go to other tuition center. Near baby's place. [bie, hinting eh bie] On saturday and sunday. Weekends burn! Nevermind. "o'level, ingat!"

And I have this very strong feeling, granny, aunty, uncle semua forgotten my b'day sia. Past years, cash roll in. This year, b'day wish from them pun takder D: Except from Makwak. She wasn't at granny's yesterday. Mak, sedih per? I plan to get some stuff with the money I might be getting from them tau, but habuk pun takder. Siak uh. Sad story eh? hahaha.

Okay, ibu already asked me to siap-siap. Standard, kalau siap confirm lambat. ahahha.

ps: stomach cramp leh. first day, takleh tasyan.

bored much?

2009-05-09T04:57:00.004+08:00

still wide awake, bleah~ mr.j went to sleep like 3 hours ago. done with my blog, most of it that is. left with changing of url and telling the world to relink me. currently chatting with ayim. he just went online. since no one else is online, chatted with him. mothers' day is like tomorrow [since it already way pass midnight], and I hadn't got anything in mind what to get for ibu. maybe choc and ... (?) don't know. hmm. that's if i have cash on me. cash will be rolling in soon, after mye, that's if it didn't get any more delayed, yeah.

an told me to help him keep 10 buck per week. jadi bank. haha. okay. i want to edit picture for my profile, and bloghop on some blogshop. grr~ mendatangkan kemarahan tau when i get to know the adidas shirt i'm int. in was sold, and that seller didn't even inform me its was already oos. made me wait for simply nothing. tsk.

i need cash, i want nike flip flop. mum already promised me, delayed b'day present much? -.-" ceh. haha. kay bye.

i think i want to open a blogshop to sell of my clothes? should i? can i handle it? bleah~

2009-05-08T21:31:00.002+08:00

MR.J just got back home from SDC. He drop by my area and I had a 5 second look at him, aww~ How sweet. haha. He head SDC without telling me. tsk. I decided not to meet him in the afternoon just now, since ... Only he knows. But he fetch me from the-30-min-lc exam this morning despite the heavy rain. Actually, he wanted to send me to school, and wait outside, but besarkan taik mati, he went back to sleep - I don't mind. Expected. haha. If he had told me he's going SDC, I would have followed. okay. still in the process of editting blog layout. update soon, when? idk ^^,

ps: i don't like this feeling.

You know, I feel different every time I chat with bestf. I send him this chain-bestf-message thing, and he replied something like "I'm not your friend - but your bestfriend". I melt right away. How touching. I don't know if my move was right, I should have waited. But I don't want to end here. I would rather go with the flow for now. sigh. I miss being super close to him, I really do, but for now, let things subside first. *deep breathe. So heart breaking. Always like this one leh. tsk. What ever it is, I'm really gladful he still treat me the same way, still care, ask my where about and still talk/chat with me. But I still feel different cause he don't talk to me often. tsk. So different. Okay stop - before I doubt my decision further. I don't want to waste my one year four months. Bye.

2009-04-29T08:12:00.000+08:00

waiting for an to text me and i'll be heading down to meet him and the rest. he's resting, and idk if he woke up already. ini yang mendatangkan kemarahan nih. anw, look at the date, my b'day tomorrow. finally sixteen. haha. long way to go though. there's lots more in life that i have yet to learn. mane an nih? janji 430, then 445, now nak dekat 530 dah. really taking his own sweet time.

kepanasan! hmm. okay. will be texting him and ask him what time to go out, IN FRONT OF A FAN. bye now.

HAPPY SIXTEEN TO ME!

2009-04-27T00:48:00.002+08:00

Were your last three kisses from the same person?
- yes.

Done anything illegal in the past month?
- doubt so.

Describe your life in one word?
- mess.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
- obviously, yes.

Have you talked about marriage with another person?
- guess so.

Would you consider adoption?
- maybe, most probably not.

Do you like Redbull?
- okay-okay baby uh.

Would you rather date a person with a British accent or an Irish accent?
- non of the above. i won't understand.

Think back five months ago, were you single?
- dec? yes. was single, but i still loved him a lot, five months ago.

Is it easy to make you smile?
- yes. just smile, i'll smile back.

Do you have a bad habit?
- yes. what? lot to list.

Where do you wish you were right now?
- someone's heart.

Is there something that reminds you of someone everytime you see/hear it?
- yes. songs, hp, 10, blog, chat, everythin.

Who is the last person you spent money on?
- an and mamat.

When was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life?
- was very happy, till the beginning of this year.

Would you date someone taller than you?
- duh -.-

When is your birthday?
- this wednesday.

If you could choose between a million dollars or being able to fly, you would choose?
- million dollars, duh.

Is there someone you really like to just hang out with and talk about stuff?
- yes : an, afiq, punk, mamat and syayie.

What are you looking forward to in the next 4 days?
- the weekends, and my b'day obviously. an's treat ^^,

Have you ever gone a whole day without eating?
- yes.

Are your parents still together?
- yes.

Have you ever passed out and woke up in some random place?
- nope.

Have you ever been in love?
- don't think so.

Are you a loud person?
- don't know.

Would your parents be mad if you came home smashed?
- smashed? as in? kalau dah penyek masuk hospital lah, nak mengamuk buat ape? o.0

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
- depends on who i want to talk to.

Do you believe that you can change for someone?
- yes.

Would you go back in time to change something?
- yes (!)

Is it hard leaving people behind?
- it's harder if you're the one that is being left behind.

Can you handle the truth?
- no.

Would you kiss the last person you held hands with?
- no. he held my hand, and i let it go, you think i like him? hell no.

Ever kissed someone who smokes?
- my father used to smoke.

Was this New Year's enjoyable?
- last new year's was memorable.

Are you high?
- no. i'm low.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
- yes.

How old will you be in 11 months?
- 17 years 3 months. Woohoo!

Do you prefer socks, shoes or bare feet?
- bare footened.

Has anyone disappointed you lately?
- yes. very much disappointed.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
- i've been very stupid to wait for a guy for 1 year plus. you think?

Did you have sex today?
- no.

What is the color of the chair you are sitting in?
- i'm sitting on my bed.

What time did you wake up this morning?
- nine, but went back to sleep.

What pair of shoes did you wear today?
- everlast slip-on.

How's your day been?
- i cried because i was hurt, you think?

Ever kissed anyone 30 or older?
- My parents?

What are you listening to?
- silent.

How late did you stay up last night?
- till 2 am.

Have you ever cried from being so mad?
- laughing? yes.

What's on your mind?
- getting rid of abg cool.

Do you believe in true love?
- fuck up.

In the past week have you felt sad?
- yes.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
- cold. rain please.

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
- don't know.

Do you laugh at your own jokes?
- yes.

Do you hate when people smoke around you?
- i got no choice.

Are you currently reading a book?
- nope.

take it as 26th. gdi, it's 1 am now. bye.

2009-04-21T23:56:00.001+08:00

new blog.